书城外语英语PARTY——爱的港湾
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第18章 视角(1)

On Doors

The opening and closing of doors are the most significant actions of man,s life. What a mystery lies in doors!

No man knows what awaits him when he opens a door. Even the most familiar room, where the clock ticks and the hearth glows red at dusk, may harbor surprises. The plumber may actually have called (while you were out) and fixed that leaking faucet. The cook may have had a fit of the vapors and demanded her passports. The wise man opens his front door with humility and a spirit of acceptance.

Which one of us has not sat in some anteroom and watched the inscrutable panels of a door that was full of meaning? Perhaps you were waiting to apply for a job; perhaps you had some “deal” you were ambitious to put over. You watched the confidential stenographer flit in and out, carelessly turning that mystic portal which, to you, revolved on hinges of fate. And then the young woman said, “Mr. Cranberry will see you now.” As you grasped the knob the thought flashed, “When I open this door again, what will have happened?”

There are many kinds of doors. Revolving doors for hotels, shops, and public buildings. These are typical of the brisk, bustling ways of modern life. Can you imagine John Milton or William Penn skipping through a revolving door? Then there are the curious little slatted doors that still swing outside denatured barrooms and extend only from shoulder to knee. There are trapdoors, sliding doors, double doors, stage doors, prison doors, glass doors. But the symbol and mystery of a door resides in its quality of concealment. A glass door is not a door at all, but a window. The meaning of a door is to hide what lies inside; to keep the heart in suspense.

Also, there are many ways of opening doors. There is the cheery push of elbow with which the waiter shoves open the kitchen door when he bears in your try of supper. There is the sympathetic and awful silence of the dentist,s maid who opens the door into the operating room, and , without speaking, implies that the doctor is ready for you. There is the brisk cataclysmic opening of a door when the nurse comes in, very early in the morning - “It,s a boy!”

Doors are the symbol of privacy, of retreat, of the mind,s escape into blissful quietude or sad secret struggle. A room without doors is not a room, but a hallway. No matter where he is, a man can make himself at home behind a closed door. The mind works best behind closed doors. Men are not horses to be herded together. Dogs know the meaning and anguish of doors. Have you ever noticed a puppy yearning at a shut portal? It is a symbol of human life.

The opening of doors is a mystic act: it has in it some flavor of the unknown, some sense of moving into a new moment, a new pattern of the human rigmarole. It includes the highest glimpses of mortal gladness; reunions, reconciliations, the bliss of lovers long parted. Even in sadness, the opening of a door may bring relief: it changes and redistributes human forces. But the closing of doors is far more terrible. It is a confession of finality. Every door closed brings something to an end. And there are degrees of sadness in the closing of doors. A door slammed is a confession of weakness. A door gently shut is often the most tragic gesture in life. Every one knows the seizure of anguish that comes just after the closing of a door, when the loved one is still near, within sound of voice, and yet already far away.

The opening and closing of doors is a part of the stern fluency of life. Life will not stay still and let us alone. We are continually opening doors with hope, closing them with despair. Life lasts not much longer than a pipe of tobacco, and destiny knocks us out like the ashes.

The closing of a door is irrevocable. It snaps the packthread of the heart. It is no avail to reopen, to go back. Pinero spoke nonsense when he made Paula Tanqueray say, “The future is only the past entered through another gate.” Alas, there is no other gate. When the door is shut, it is shut forever. There is no other entrance to that vanished pulse of time. “The moving finger writes, and having writ -”

There is a certain kind of doorshutting that will come to us all. The kind of doorshutting that is done very quietly, with the sharp click of the latch to break the stillness. They will think then, one hopes, of our unfulfilled decencies rather than of our pluperfected misdemeanours. Then they will go out and close the door.

论门

开门和关门是人的生活中最有意思的行动,门内是怎样的神秘莫测啊!

一个人打开一扇门时,不知道等待着他的是什么。即使是最熟悉的房间,那里钟在嘀答作响,壁炉在暮色中闪着红光,也可能会藏有叫人吃惊的事情。管子工可能真的来过(在你外出时),修好了漏水的水龙头。厨师可能忧郁症发作,要求同意她离开。聪明的人总是带着恭谦和接受的态度打开前门。

我们中谁没有在某个接待室里坐过,眼睛盯着那扇含有各种可能的莫测高森的门板?也许你是在谋求职业;也许你有一项希望能顺利做成的“交易”。你盯着那个机要速记员很快地进进出出,漫不经心地转动那扇神秘的门,对你来说,它可是绕着命运的铰链在转动呢。后来,那个年轻的女子说:“克雷伯里先生现在要见你。”当你握住门球时,闪过一个想法:“我再打开这扇门的时候,将会发生什么事情?”

门有许多种类。旅馆、商店和公共大楼的旋转门。这些门代表着典型的活泼而忙碌的现代生活方式。你能想象约翰?弥尔顿或威廉?佩恩匆匆忙忙走过一扇旋转门吗?还有那种开起来乒乓响的古怪的小门,这种门只有从膝盖到肩那么高,仍在变质了的酒吧外面摆动。还有活板门、拉门、双折门、舞台门、监狱门、玻璃门等。不过一扇门的标志和神秘在于它的隐蔽性。玻璃门根本算不上是门,仅是一扇窗户而已。门的意义就在于把里面的东西隐藏起来,使你的心悬虑不安。

同样,开门也有许多种方式。有一种是用胳膊肘轻快地一推,侍者端着你的晚餐盘、打开厨房时总是这样。有在愁苦的书籍代理商或小贩面前颇有戒心地和犹犹疑疑地一点点地拉开后退的门。有随着有礼貌而又小心地逐渐退出的男仆而敞开的大人物的栎木门。还有牙医女助手富于同情而悄然无声地打开的手术室的门,她一声不吭,暗示医生已经在等你了。另有一种,在清晨很早的时候,护士欢快而突然的打开门进来,嘴里喊着:“是个男孩!”

门象征着隐私、静修、内心避入愉快的宁静或伤心的斗争。一间没有门的房间不是房间,只是过道。不管在哪里,一个人呆在一扇紧闭的门后面,就能使自己感到像在家里一样自在。在紧闭的门后面,人的思维作用发挥得最好。人不像马,得圈在一起。狗懂得门的意义及门所带来的苦恼。你有没有注意过一只小狗在一扇关闭的门前渴望不已?那是人类生活的象征。

开门是个神秘的动作:这里面包含有某种未知的情趣,某种进入新的时刻的感觉,一种人类繁琐手续的新形式。这包含对极大的快乐的显露,重聚、和解、久别重逢的恋人的狂喜。就是在悲伤时,开门也会给你带来宽慰:它改变并重新分配人的力量。但是关门要可怕得多。那是声明结局。每一扇门关上都表示某件事的结束。在关门中有不同程度的悲伤。砰的一声把门关上表示软弱。轻轻地关上门常常是生活中最悲剧性的举动。人人都知道,紧跟在关门后面袭来的是极度的痛苦,这是所爱的人虽仍在附近,听得见说话的声音,然而他已经远去了。

开门和关门是严峻的流水般的生活的一部分。生活不会停止不动,撇下我们不顾。我们继续怀着希望开门,怀着绝望关门。生命持续的时间不超过一袋烟,命运最终像磕烟灰那样把我们击倒。

一扇门关上是不可挽回的。它啪地折断了心脏的血脉。重新打开、转回去是没有用的。平内罗让波拉?坦克瑞说:“未来只是从另一扇门进入过去。”这是胡说八道。哎呀,没有其他的门。当门关上时,他永远就关上了。对那消失了的时间的搏动来说,没有其他入口。“运指儿写书,字儿落纸……”

我们每个人肯定都会碰到一种关门。这种关门关起来很轻,只是弹簧锁的卡塔声会打破寂静。希望那时他们想到的是我们没有完成的正经事,而不要想到我们干过的不端行为。那样他们就会走出去,关上门。

How to Grow Old