Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to dosomething. Before you speak， pause and ask yourself： “How can Imake this person want to do it？”
That question will stop us from rushing into a situationheedlessly， with futile chatter about our desires.
At one time I rented the grand ballroom of a certain New Yorkhotel for twenty nights in each season in order to hold a series oflectures.
At the beginning of one season， I was suddenly informed thatI should have to pay almost three times as much rent as formerly.
This news reached me after the tickets had been printed anddistributed and all announcements had been made.
Naturally， I didn’t want to pay the increase， but what wasthe use of talking to the hotel about what I wanted？ They were interested only in what they wanted. So a couple of days later Iwent to see the manager.
“I was a bit shocked when I got your letter，” I said， “but I don’tblame you at all. If I had been in your position， I should probablyhave written a similar letter myself. Your duty as the manager ofthe hotel is to make all the profit possible. If you don’t do that，you will be fired and you ought to be fired. Now， let’s take a pieceof paper and write down the advantages and the disadvantagesthat will accrue to you， if you insist on this increase in rent.”
Then I took a letterhead and ran a line through the centerand headed one column “Advantages” and the other column“Disadvantages.” I wrote down under the head “Advantages” these words： “Ballroom free.” Then I went on to say： “You willhave the advantage of having the ballroom free to rent for dancesand conventions. That is a big advantage， for affairs like that willpay you much more than you can get for a series of lectures. If I tieyour ballroom up for twenty nights during the course of the season，it is sure to mean a loss of some very profitable business to you.
“Now， let’s consider the disadvantages. First， instead ofincreasing your income from me， you are going to decrease it. Infact， you are going to wipe it out because I cannot pay the rentyou are asking. I shall be forced to hold these lectures at someother place. “There’s another disadvantage to you also. Theselectures attract crowds of educated and cultured people to yourhotel. That is good advertising for you， isn’t it？ In fact， if youspent five thousand dollars advertising in the newspapers， youcouldn’t bring as many people to look at your hotel as I can bringby these lectures. That is worth a lot to a hotel， isn’t it？”
As I talked， I wrote these two “disadvantages” under theproper heading， and handed the sheet of paper to the manager， saying： “I wish you would carefully consider both the advantagesand disadvantages that are going to accrue to you and then giveme your final decision.”
I received a letter the next day， informing me that my rentwould be increased only 50 percent instead of 300 percent.
Mind you， I got this reduction without saying a word aboutwhat I wanted. I talked all the time about what the other personwanted and how he could get it.
Suppose I had done the human， natural thing； suppose I hadstormed into his office and said， “What do you mean by raisingmy rent three hundred percent when you know the tickets havebeen printed and the announcements made？ Three hundredpercent！ Ridiculous！ Absurd！ I won’t pay it！”
What would have happened then？ An argument would havebegun to steam and boil and sputter—and you know how argumentsend. Even if I had convinced him that he was wrong， his pridewould have made it difficult for him to back down and give in.
Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fineart of human relationships. “If there is any one secret of success，” saidHenry Ford，“it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of viewand see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
That is so good， I want to repeat it： “If there is any one secret ofsuccess， it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of viewand see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
That is so simple， so obvious， that anyone ought to see thetruth of it at a glance； yet 90 percent of the people on this earthignore it 90 percent of the time.
An example？ Look at the letters that come across your desktomorrow morning， and you will find that most of them violatethis important canon of common sense.
Here is a letter written by the superintendent of a large freightterminal to a student of this course， Edward Vermylen. Whateffect did this letter have on the man to whom it was addressed？
Read it and then I’ll tell you.
Gentlemen：
The operations at our outbound-rail-receiving station arehandicapped because a material percentage of the total businessis delivered us in the late afternoon. This condition results incongestion， overtime on the part of our forces， delays to trucks， andin some cases delays to freight. On November 10， we received fromyour company a lot of 510 pieces， which reached here at 4：20 P.M.
We solicit your cooperation toward overcoming the undesirableeffects arising from late receipt of freight. May we ask that， on dayson which you ship the volume which was received on the above date，effort be made either to get the truck here earlier or to deliver us partof the freight during the morning？
The advantage that would accrue to you under such an arrangementwould be that of more expeditious discharge of your trucks and theassurance that your business would go forward on the date of itsreceipt.
Very truly yours，
J—B—Supt.
After reading this letter， Mr. Vermylen， sales manager for A.
Zerega’s Sons， Inc.， sent it to me with the following comment.
This letter had the reverse effect from that which was intended.