PRINCIPLE 4：
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Everyone who was ever a guest of Theodore Roosevelt wasastonished at the range and diversity of his knowledge. Whetherhis visitor was a cowboy or a Rough Rider， a New York politicianor a diplomat， Roosevelt knew what to say. And how was it done？
The answer was simple. Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor，he sat up late the night before， reading up on the subject in whichhe knew his guest was particularly interested.
For Roosevelt knew， as all leaders know， that the royal road to aperson’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.
The genial William Lyon Phelps， essayist and professor ofliterature at Yale， learned this lesson early in life.
“When I was eight years old and was spending a weekendvisiting my Aunt Libby Linsley at her home in Stratford on theHousatonic，” he wrote in his essay on Human Nature， “a middleagedman called one evening， and after a polite skirmish with myaunt， he devoted his attention to me. At that time， I happened tobe excited about boats， and the visitor discussed the subject ina way that seemed to me particularly interesting. After he left， Ispoke of him with enthusiasm. What a man！ My aunt informedme he was a New York lawyer， that he cared nothing whateverabout boats—that he took not the slightest interest in thesubject.‘But why then did he talk all the time about boats？’
“ ‘Because he is a gentleman. He saw you were interested inboats， and he talked about the things he knew would interest andplease you. He made himself agreeable.’ ”
And William Lyon Phelps added： “I never forgot my aunt’sremark.”
As I write this chapter， I have before me a letter from EdwardL. Chalif， who was active in Boy Scout work.
“One day I found I needed a favor，” wrote Mr. Chalif. “A bigScout jamboree was coming off in Europe， and I wanted thepresident of one of the largest corporations in America to pay theexpenses of one of my boys for the trip.
“Fortunately， just before I went to see this man， I heard thathe had drawn a check for a million dollars， and that after it wascanceled， he had had it framed.
“So the first thing I did when I entered his office was to askto see the check. A check for a million dollars！ I told him I neverknew that anybody had ever written such a check， and that Iwanted to tell my boys that I had actually seen a check for amillion dollars. He gladly showed it to me； I admired it and askedhim to tell me all about how it happened to be drawn.”
You notice， don’t you， that Mr. Chalif didn’t begin by talkingabout the Boy Scouts， or the jamboree in Europe， or what it washe wanted？ He talked in terms of what interested the other man.
Here’s the result：
“Presently， the man I was interviewing said： ‘Oh， by the way，what was it you wanted to see me about？’ So I told him. “Tomy vast surprise，” Mr. Chalif continues， “he not only grantedimmediately what I asked for， but much more. I had askedhim to send only one boy to Europe， but he sent five boys andmyself， gave me a letter of credit for a thousand dollars andtold us to stay in Europe for seven weeks. He also gave meletters of introduction to his branch presidents， putting themat our service， and he himself met us in Paris and showed us thetown.
Since then， he has given jobs to some of the boys whoseparents were in want， and he is still active in our group.
“Yet I know if I hadn’t found out what he was interested in，and got him warmed up first， I wouldn’t have found him onetenthas easy to approach.”
Is this a valuable technique to use in business？ Is it？Let’ssee， Take Henry G. Duvernoy of Duvemoy and Sons， a wholesalebaking firm in New York. Mr. Duvernoy had been trying to sellbread to a certain New York hotel. He had called on the managerevery week for four years. He went to the same social affairs themanager attended. He even took rooms in the hotel and livedthere in order to get the business. But he failed.
“Then，” said Mr. Duvernoy， “after studying human relations，I resolved to change my tactics. I decided to find out whatinterested this man—what caught his enthusiasm.
“I discovered he belonged to a society of hotel executivescalled the Hotel Greeters of America. He not only belonged， but hisbubbling enthusiasm had made him president of the organization，and president of the International Greeters. No matter where itsconventions were held， he would be there.
“So when I saw him the next day， I began talking about theGreeters. What a response I got. What a response！ He talked tome for half an hour about the Greeters， his tones vibrant withenthusiasm. I could plainly see that this society was not only hishobby， it was the passion of his life. Before I left his office， he had‘sold’ me a membership in his organization.
“In the meantime， I had said nothing about bread. But a fewdays later， the steward of his hotel phoned me to come over withsamples and prices.
“ ‘I don’t know what you did to the old boy，’ the steward greetedme， ‘but he sure is sold on you！’
“Think of it！ I had been drumming at that man for four years—trying to get his business—and I’d still be drumming at him if Ihadn’t finally taken the trouble to find out what he was interestedin， and what he enjoyed talking about.”