书城小说经典短篇小说101篇
16973600000253

第253章 ROLLO LEARNING TO PLAY(3)

“Thanny,” said Rollo, in a low tone, “you’re suspended;that’s what you get for jollying the umpire.”

“Rollo,” said his father, “I will not have you quarreling withThanny. I can correct him without your interference. And,besides, you have wrought enough mischief for one day. Justsee what you have done with your careless throwing. You havebroken the window, and I do not know how many things onthe kitchen table. You careless, inattentive boy. I would doright if I should make you pay for all this damage out of yourown pocket-money. And I would, if you had any. I may do so,nevertheless. And there is Jane, bathing her eye at the pump.

You have probably put it out by your wild pitching. If she dies,I will make you wash the dishes until she returns. I thought allboys could throw straight naturally without any training. Youdiscourage me. Now come here and take this bat, and I willshow you how to pitch a ball without breaking all the glass inthe township. And see if you can learn to bat any better thanyou can pitch.”

Rollo took the bat, poised himself lightly, and kept up agentle oscillation of the stick while he waited.

“Hold it still!” yelled his father, whose nerves were sorelyshaken. “How can I pitch a ball to you when you keepflourishing that club like an anarchist in procession. Hold itstill, I tell you!”

Rollo dropped the bat to an easy slant over his shoulder andlooked attentively at his father. The ball came in. Rollo caughtit right on the nose of the bat and sent it whizzing directly atthe pitcher. Mr. Holliday held his hands straight out before himand spread his fingers.

“I’ve got her!” he shouted.

And then the ball hit his hands, scattered them, and passedon against his chest with a jolt that shook his system to itsfoundations. A melancholy howl rent the air as he doubledup and tried to rub his chest and knead all his fingers on bothhands at the same time.

“Rollo,” he gasped, “you go to bed, too! Go to bed and staythere six weeks. And when you get up, put on one of yoursister’s dresses and play golf. You’ll never learn to play ball ifyou practice a thousand years. I never saw such a boy. You haveprobably broken my lung. And I do not suppose I shall ever usemy hands again. You can’t play tiddle-de-winks. Oh, dear; oh,dear!”

Rollo sadly laid away the bat and the ball and went to bed,where he and Thanny sparred with pillows until tea time, whenthey were bailed out of prison by their mother. Mr. Hollidayhad recovered his good humor. His fingers were multifariouslybandaged and he smelled of arnica like a drug store. But hewas reminiscent and animated. He talked of the old times andthe old days, and of Peoria and Hinman’s, as was his wont oftas he felt boyish.

“And town ball,” he said, “good old town ball! There wasno limit to the number on a side. The ring was anywhere fromthree hundred feet to a mile in circumference, according towhether we played on a vacant Pingree lot or out on the openprairie. We tossed up a bat—wet or dry—for first choice, andthen chose the whole school on the sides. The bat was a board,about the gen eral shape of a Roman galley oar and not quiteso wide as a barn door. The ball was of solid India rubber; alittle fellow could hit it a hundred yards, and a big boy, with ahickory club, could send it clear over the bluffs or across thelake. We broke all the windows in the school-house the firstday, and finished up every pane of glass in the neighborhoodbefore the season closed. The side that got its innings first keptthem until school was out or the last boy died. Fun? Goodgame? Oh, boy of these golden days, paying fifty cents anhour for the privilege of watching a lot of hired men do yourplaying for you—it beat two-old-cat.”

SPELL AND DEFINE:

Instruction Miscalculation Paralysis

Instantaneity Pastime Hasty

Liniment Contusion Supererogation

Can a boy learn anything without a teacher?—Does the pupilever know more than the instructor?—And why not?—Howlong does it require one to learn to speak and write the Spanishlanguage correctly in six easy lessons, at home, withouta master?—And in how many lessons can one be taughtto walk Spanish?—What is meant by a “rooter”?—Whatis the difference between a “rooter” and a “fan”?—Parse“hoodoo.”—What is the philology of “crank”?—Describe aclosely contested game of “one-old-cat,” with diagrams.—What is meant by “a rank decision”?—Translate into colloquialEnglish the phrase, “Good eye Bill!”—Put into bleachingboard Latin, “Rotten umpire.”—Why is he so called?