BY OLIVER GOLDSMITH
Oliver Goldsmith (1728-1774): An English author. He wrote essays, histories, poems, comedies, and a novel, "The Vicar of Wakefield," from which the following selection is taken. "The Vicar of Wakefield" is an exquisite picture of domestic life, which ranks among the masterpieces of English fiction. "The Deserted Village,"" and "The Traveler" are Goldsmith"s best poems, the first being an ideal deion of English rural life.
Oliver Goldsmith
As we were now to hold up our heads a little higher in the world,it would be proper to sell the colt, which was grown old, at a neighboring fair, and buy us a horse that would carry single or double upon an occasion, and make a pretty appearance at church or upon a visit. This I at first opposed stoutly; but it was as stoutly defended. However, as I weakened, my antagonists gained strength, till at last it was resolved to part with him.
As the fair happened on the following day, I had intentions of going myself; but my wife persuaded me that I had a cold, and nothing could prevail upon her to permit me from home.
"No, my dear," said she, "our son Moses is a discreet1 boy,1 Discreet: prudent; careful.
and can buy and sell to very good advantage; you know all our great bargains are of his purchasing. He always stands out and higgles1 and actually tires them till he gets a bargain."As I had some opinion of my son"s prudence, I was willing enough to intrust him with this commission; and the next morning I perceived his sisters mighty busy in fitting out Moses for the fair; trimming his hair, brushing his buckles2, and cocking his hat with pins. The business of the toilet being over, we had at last the satisfaction of seeing him mounted upon the colt, with a box before him to bring home groceries in.
He had on a coat made of that cloth they call thunder and lightning, which, though grown too short, was much too good to be thrown away. His waistcoat was of gosling green, and his sisters had tied his hair with a broad black ribbon. We all followed him several paces from the door, bawling after him, "Good luck! good luck!" till we could see him no longer.
******
As night came on, I began to wonder what could keep our son so long at the fair.
"Never mind our son," cried my wife; "depend upon it, he knows what he is about. I"ll warrant we"ll never see him sell his hen of a rainy day. I have seen him buy such bargains as would amaze one. I"ll tell you a good story about that, that will1Higgles: disputes; bargains.
2Buckles: curls of hair; usually, metal frames with catches, used for fastening things together.
make you split your sides with laughing.- But as I live, yonder comes Moses, without a horse, and the box at his back."As she spoke, Moses came slowly on foot, and sweating under the box, which he had strapped round his shoulders like a peddler. "Welcome, welcome, Moses; well, my boy, what have you brought us from the fair?""I have brought you myself," cried Moses, with a sly look, and resting the box on the dresser.
"Aye, Moses," cried my wife, "that we know, but where is the horse?""I have sold him," cried Moses," for three pounds, five shillings, and twopence."Moses starts for the fair"Well done, my good boy," returned she. "I knew you would touch them off. Between ourselves, three pounds, five shillings, and twopence is no bad day"s work. Come, let us have it, then.""I have brought back no money," cried Moses again, "I have laid it all out in a bargain, and here it is," pulling out a bundle from his breast: "here they are: a gross of green spectacles, with silver rims and shagreen1 cases.""A gross of green spectacles!" repeated my wife, in a faintvoice. "And you have parted with the colt and brought us back nothing but a gross of green paltry2 spectacles!""Dear mother," cried the boy, "why won"t you listen to reason? I had them a dead bargain, or I should not have bought them. The silver rims alone will sell for double the money.""A fig for the silver rims!" cried my wife, in a passion: "I dare swear they won"t sell for above half the money at the rate of broken silver, five shillings an ounce.""You need be under no uneasiness," cried I, "about selling the rims, for they are not worth sixpence, for I perceive they are only copper varnished over.""What," cried my wife, "not silver, the rims not silver!" "No," cried I, "no more silver than your saucepan.""And so," returned she, "we have parted with the colt, and have only got a gross of green spectacles with copper rims1Shagreen: a kind of grained, untanned leather used for covering small cases and boxes.
2Paltry: worthless; trifling.
and shagreen cases! A murrain take1 such trumpery2! The blockhead has been imposed upon, and should have known his company better.""There, my dear," cried I, "you are wrong, he should not have known them at all.""Marry, hang the idiot," returned she, "to bring me such stuff! If I had them I would throw them in the fire.""There again you are wrong, my dear," cried I; "for though they be copper, we will keep them by us, as copper spectacles, you know, are better than nothing."By this time the unfortunate Moses was undeceived. He now saw that he had been indeed imposed upon by a prowling sharper, who, observing his figure, had marked him for an easy prey. I, therefore, asked the circumstances of his deception. He sold the horse, it seems, and walked the fair in search of another. A reverend-looking man brought him to a tent, under pretense of having one to sell.
"Here," continued Moses, "we met another man, very well dressed, who desired to borrow twenty pounds upon these, saying that he wanted money and would dispose of them for a third of the value. The first gentleman, who pretended to be my friend, whispered me to buy them, and cautioned me not to let so good an offer pass. I sent for Mr. Flamborough, and they talked him up as finely as they did me, and so at last we were persuaded to buy the two gross between us."1 A murrain take, etc.: a petty evil wish. Murrain is a disease among cattle. 2 Trumpery: things of no value; rubbish.