书城外语让我留在你的身边
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第14章 生命的循环Tippy

佚名/Anonymous

上学快迟到了,我打算冲过去赶校车。而我的狗,蒂皮,也冲到了我的前面。我恼怒地想,你着什么急?你又不会像我这样来不及赶校车。当她跑到前门时,就顺势躺在了那里,这是她要求亲昵的一种方式。对于她这种不知羞耻、乞求怜爱的动作,我没有回应,而是跳过她,用尽全力跑向等待着的黄色校车。

下午,我跳下车,跑到车道上。我觉得有些奇怪。蒂皮以往都会在外面,一看到我回来就会一直狂吠着跟我说“哈罗”。于是我急忙进门,屋里很安静。我把外套和背包扔到地板上。此时母亲默不作声地走了出来,让我坐在厨房桌子的旁边。

母亲说:“亲爱的,我有一个坏消息要告诉你。今天早上你在学校的时候,蒂皮出车祸了,当场死亡,没有什么痛苦。很抱歉,我知道你多么在乎她。”

“不,不可能!”我遭到了沉重的打击。我根本无法相信母亲的话。“蒂皮,过来!快点儿,宝贝!”我反复地叫着她。我等着,可她没来。我感到很失望,迷迷糊糊地走进了起居室。她没在沙发上,那我以后看动画片的时候就没有可以靠着的枕头了。母亲叫我吃晚餐,我磨磨蹭蹭地来到了位子上。她也没有在桌子底下藏着,因此我不得不吃掉所有的饭。晚上睡觉时,我没有哭,因为我仍然不相信她已经走了。

第二天下车回家后,屋里的寂静让我感到窒息。最终,我控制不住自己的泪水,犹如火山爆发似的哭了出来。我感觉自己就要因内脏破裂而死。我无法控制泪水,也不能停止胡思乱想。我本应该更好地训练她。如果我在家,就可以让她远离马路。我离开的时候都没有爱抚她,我怎么会知道那就是最后的机会?我哭得筋疲力尽。

我不喜欢父母给我买的那只名叫廷克贝尔的新狗。我经常怒视那些开着车飞驰而过的司机。他们不应该以这么快的速度驾驶,以至于当他们看到路上的狗时无法立即停车。我对我的父母仍然很冷淡。为什么他们没有把蒂皮拴紧?蒂皮的死让我很愤怒,也为整个“狗王国”不懂得远离马路而愤怒。

我不让新狗品尝我的晚餐。她太小了,我看电视的时候都不能把她当枕头,她的叫声又是那么尖利。当她乞求我的怜爱时,我推开了她。很长时间,我都独自待着,感到自己可怜又疑惑。为什么这种事会发生在我的身上?怎么办?为什么蒂皮一定要死?

时光飞逝,在挣扎中,我也渐渐明白了一些事情。我忽然间感觉清醒了,我意识到没有谁能控制狗身上发生的事。当然,我们能训练并拴紧她们,安排好一切,但不如人意的事还是会发生。尽管如此,还是会有好事降临,生活就是这样。度过困难时期最有效的方法,就是明白我们怎样做才能征服它,还要坚信困难一定会过去。

我也发现,我并没有因蒂皮的死而失去爱的能力。当我试着将心灵尘封起来的时侯,却感到很寂寞。我开始意识到廷克贝尔的优点是不同于蒂皮的。虽然我不能靠着她的小身体休息,或假装像骑蒂皮那样对待她,但我可以把她放在背包里带着她到处游玩。

我懂得了要真正地跟她一起享受美好的时光,只要有机会,就要爱护我的狗!如今,一有机会我就会慢慢地和她亲昵。匆忙时,我会加快速度,每次我离开家前,都记得和她亲昵一下。

此时,我深刻地体会到了“生命的循环”。

每个人有生也有死,这就是生活。如果狗永远都不死,那就没有像廷克贝尔那样的狗以及她的5只狗宝宝生活的空间了!

最幸运的是,我意识到蒂皮给我留下了许多美好的记忆,而且它们时时刻刻都会随着我的召唤而来!

I was late for the school bus and rushing to get ready.My dog,Tippy,ran past me.What’s your big hurry I wondered,annoyed.It wasn’t like he was late for the school bus like I was.When he got to the front door,he lay down in front of it—his way of asking to be petted.I ignored his shameless begging for affection,hurdled over him and sprinted for the waiting yellow bus.

That afternoon,I jumped out of the bus and dashed up the driveway.That’s odd,I thought.Tippy was usually outside,barking an entire paragraph of“hellos”as soon as he saw me come home.When I burst through the door,the house was quiet and still.I dumped my coat and backpack on the floor.Mom silently appeared.She asked me to sit down at the kitchen table.

“Honey,I have some sad news that I need to tell you.This morning,while you were at school,Tippy was hit by a car and killed.He died instantly,so he didn’t suffer.I know how much he meant to you.I’m so sorry.”said Mom.

“No!It’s not true!”I was in shock.I couldn’t believe her.“Tippy,come here!come on,boy!”I called and called for him.I waited.He didn’t come.Feeling lost,I wandered into the living room.He wasn’t on the couch,so I had no pillow for my head while I watched cartoons.Mom called me for dinner and I rambled to my place.He wasn’t hiding under the table,so I had to eat all of my dinner.I went to sleep that night,but I didn’t cry.I still couldn’t believe that he was gone.

When I got off the bus the next day,the silence grew deafening.Finally,my sobs bubbled up and erupted like lava from a volcano.I felt like I was going to die from having my inside shaken apart,and I couldn’t stop crying or end the thoughtthat kept going through my head.I should have trained him better.If I had been home,I could have called him away from the road.I didn’t even pet him when I left.How could I have known that was my last chance I cried until I felt hollow inside.

My parents brought a new dog named Tinker Belle.I didn’t care.I was busy giving hate looks to people speeding in their cars.They shouldn’t drive so fast that they couldn’t stop when they see a dog in the road.My parents still got the silent treatment from me.Why hadn’t they made sure that Tippy was tied up I was mad at Tippy for getting killed,and I was mad at the entire“dog kingdom”for not knowing enough to stay out of the road.

I didn’t share my dinner with our new dog.She was too small to be my pillow for television,and her bark was squeaky.When she begged for attention,I pushed her away.I spent a lot of time alone,feeling sorry for myself and wondering:Why did this have to happen to me What am I going to do now Why did Tippy have to dieTime passed,and against my will,I started to understand some things.It felt like waking up a little at a time.I realized what little control any of us have over what happens to a dog.Sure,we can train them and tie them up and do everything right,but bad things can still happen.And,in spite of us,good things can happen too.That’s life.The best way to deal with the hard times is to figure out what I need to do for myself to get through them when they come,and to remember that hard times would pass.

I also discovered that my capacity to love didn’t die with Tippy.I becameawfully lonely when I was trying to harden my heart.I began to realize that there were good things about Tinker Belle that were different from the good things about Tippy.I couldn’t rest my head on her little body,or pretend to ride Tinker Belle the way I had done with Tippy,but I could fit Tinker Belle into my backpack and carry her around.

I learned that I need to pet my dog whenever I can—and to really enjoy my time with her!Now I pet my dog slowly when I have the chance and quickly when I’m in a hurry,but I never leave the house without petting her.

I now deeply understand the“Circle of Life”。Everyone is born,everyone dies,and that’s the way it is.If dogs never died,there would be no room for others like Tinker Belle…and her five cute puppies!

Best of all,I realized that Tippy left behind all of my good memories of him.And they come to me every time I call!