[美]克劳迪娅杜韦Claudia Duwe
他不会说大话，而且似乎完全活在自己的世界里。还记得他与我们一起工作的日子里，没有人确切地知道他是谁，从哪里来，在寻找什么。后来他消失了，没有人知道他去了哪里，在做什么，是否有朋友，或是否和家人一起。我估计我们甚至连他的名字都不知道——就算是听说过，也记不起来了。
对我们来说，那些日子远非艰难可以形容。灰色单调的生活围绕着我们，仿佛无法摆脱。我们居住的巨大混凝土楼房是灰色的，工厂的尘埃是灰色的，甚至我们的衣服也是灰色的。
也许它们原本是白色的，现在变灰了。那一定是一种雪亮的白……我记不清有多少次曾试图想象那是怎样一种白色。自从白色成为我梦寐以求的天堂般的色彩，灰色带给我的就只有空虚和消沉的味道。我还记得，曾经我是多么注重色彩，其他任何颜色都一定是某些东西、某种感情或其他什么东西的象征。而只有灰色，似乎毫无意义。这就是我和他所生活的世界。
由于我们多数人都要养家糊口，因此能在工厂里工作已经算是不错了。他去那儿工作后没多久，我就发现他总在我旁边的机器上工作。我们就那样挨着工作数小时，一言不发，各自的思绪都四处飘荡，但是双手仍能一遍一遍地做着相同的动作，直到下班的铃声响起来。一直以来，我就是这样机械地在同一节奏下，一遍遍做着同样的活，他也是一样。
但每当我想要放弃时，他都会抬起头，给我一个淡淡的笑，仿佛他能猜到我的想法。我想，其实是他的双眼给我留下了深刻的印象。那双眼睛是那样幽黑、那样率直，尽管似乎掩藏着一些什么。
自从第一次见到他，他就一直陪着我。每次他对我这样淡淡一笑，就会有一丝温暖和亲切流入我的心田。我认为，每天能坚持到结束，都是他给予的力量让我坚持在这里，坚持下去。
好了，长话短说吧，他与我们共事仅仅一年后就死了。在一场车祸中，他没遭受任何痛苦就死去了。我一定是他在城里的唯一朋友，至少在参加葬礼时我是这样想的。葬礼上，我只见到一位老妇人，或许是他的母亲吧。她告诉我，一年前他刚刚失去了家庭，从那以后就不再说话，一个字也没有说过。起初我不相信。我还以为他不过是个沉默寡言的人，另外也没什么可说的。但是突然，我意识到记忆中从未听到过他的声音。直到那一刻我才恍然大悟。
他给予我那么多，而我对他的了解却如此之少。他曾经是我的朋友，而如今我失去了他，再没有机会回报。他是那样的坚强，不管曾经发生了什么，他依然在付出。
那段日子里，我感到虚弱和内疚。但从那以后，我开始关心身边的人。我感觉自己开始新生。
He wasn’t a guy of big words，and he seemed to live entirely in his own world.I remember that during the days he worked with us none of us exactly knew who he was，where he came from or what he was looking for，and afterwards he disappeared.Nobody knew where he had gone，what he was doing or if he had friends or a family to stay with.I guess，we didn’t even know his name-and even if we did，I’ve forgotten it anyway.
Those days were more than hard for all of us.There seemed to be no escape from the greyness of our everyday life which was the only colour that surrounded us.The huge concrete blocks we lived in was grey，the grey of the factory dust，even the colour of our clothes，that once might have been white was grey.It must have been a bright and shining white…and I can’t exactly recall how much time I spent trying to imagine the kind of white it might have been.Since white was the colour of the kind of paradise I so much longed to live in some day，grey left behind nothing more than a bitter taste of emptiness and depression.I can remember how I noticed once，that any other colour must be a symbol for something，a feeling or whatever.Only grey seemed to stand for absolutely nothing.This was the world I lived in，and so did he.
Having our job in the factory was still luxury though，considering the fact that most of us had families to feed.And not long after he started to work there，I would always find him working at the machine next to mine.We’d work for hours next to each other，staying quiet，with our thoughtsdrifting away to a different place but still aware of our hands doing the same movements over and over again.We were doing that until the bell would ring to end the work for the day.I used to work in a mechanical way，following the same rhythm over and over again，and so did he.But every time I was about to give up，he would lift his head and give me a little smile，as if he could guess my thoughts.I think it was actually his eyes that impressed me most.They were so dark and straight，and though they seem to be hiding anything，I couldn’t get rid of the impression that somehow he must be hiding something.
Since I first saw him，he had always been around，and every time he gave me one of those smiles，he would spread a bit of warmth into my heart，a bit of friendliness.I guess，at the end of the day it must have been him who gave me the strength to go on somehow，just by being there.
Well，to make a long story short，he died only a year after he started working with us.It was a car accident and he didn’t have to suffer very long.I must have been his only friend in town，at least that was what I thought when I went to his funeral.The only person I met there was an old lady，maybe his mother.She told me that he had lost his family just the year before and after that he didn’t speak any more.He hadn’t said a single word.First I didn’t believe her.I just thought that he was a fairly quiet person；besides there was nothing much to say anyway.But suddenly I realized that I couldn’t recall ever having heard his voice at all.Only then did I realize it！
He gave me so much and I knew so little about him.He had been my friend and now I had lost him without having had the chance to give anything back.He had been so strong that he was able to give whatever had happened.
I felt weak in those days.And guilty.But after that I started to care for the people around me.I think I started to live.