书城社科康奈尔的精神
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第24章 流金岁月:留学康村(2)

9.3 如何写好命题作文

在整个申请过程中,除了硬件部分(例如TOFEL等语言成绩、SAT等能力考试成绩)之外,软件部分(包括简历、推荐信、命题作文等)也是十分重要的申请材料。康奈尔大学等常春藤名校均要求考生在提交申请的同时,一并完成3~5篇命题作文,短的几十个词,长的500~800个词不等。虽然每个学校的命题作文不同,但是它们都有一个共同点——认为这是考生个人材料中最重要的部分。

命题作文一直被认为是申请材料中最困难的部分,它不同于其他部分,不能表现为对过去成绩和经历的陈述,而是充满创意的个人展示或倾诉。每一个学校都希望能录取到它所认为的、真正适合自己的优秀学生,为此考生就应该按照自己与学校的契合之处表达对名校的憧憬。那么,怎样才能让自己的命题作文吸引学校的注意力呢?

第一,考生需要了解自己。在正式写作之前,考生最好给自己列一个清单,把自己的兴趣爱好、学术优势和劣势以及对未来的规划做一个详细的整理,这样就能清楚地认识到自己是一个怎样的人,个性和想法中有哪些是契合康奈尔大学的校园精神的。你还可以把自己从前做过的事都列在清单上,例如是否参加过社会实践、在学校里是否加入过社团组织、有没有在报刊上发表过文章、是否在校内外比赛中获得过成绩……这些都是了解自己的资源,也是在做命题作文时很可能会用到的材料。如果不能客观地认识自己,大可询问自己的家人和朋友,让他们提供有关你个性和才能的想法。

第二,了解学校题目的指示要求。了解学校题目的要求,即是认真地完成审题过程。仔细看看康奈尔大学有没有提出细节上的要求,如是否要求直接录入还是上传附件、对文章的字体和格式有没有要求等。这是对考生细心程度的考察。正是因为这些小细节往往影响了考生的录取结果。

第三,写作前做细致的调查了解。不要急于写作,在这之前先通过互联网、康大校友等各种途径了解学校和自己想要申请的专业,了解它的课外活动和学术科研。如果有幸参观过学校,可以写下其中最感兴趣的记忆,以及自己在游历中收获的心得。学校主页往往是最好的资源,最好认真查阅自己报考院系的详细说明,对其中感兴趣的教授做个初步的了解,以及学院为学生提供的学习和娱乐资源。将获得的信息整理后,将其与自身状况结合起来,有针对性地完成文章。

第四,不必在明显的事实上耗费笔墨。康奈尔大学的唯美风光和强大的学术力量已经在前文中一一详述,招录人员一定比笔者更了解康奈尔大学的优点,因此考生大可不必在文章中反复流露溢美之词,这样反而会浪费自己的文字,失去被康大了解的机会。因此,考生只需要强调本人与学校极为般配的方面即可。

一篇漂亮的文书总会像形状各异的棱镜,折射出考生的七彩人生。这需要考生从日常生活中积累和沉淀,这并非是一蹴而就的事,需要长时间的练习。在此,笔者送上一位康奈尔申请者的范文"Leveraging Potential",仅供大家参考:

The famous Greek mathematician Archimedes once said,"Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it,and I shall move the world."The basic principle of a lever is that as the length of a lever increases,the effort needed to be exerted to accomplish a task decreases.This fundamental law can also apply to life.Life's levers are experiences and opportunities that combine to motivate the individual to succeed.However,a lever is useless when forced upon an incorrectly placed fulcrum.Fulfilling oneself with passion and values is to build and place a strong and stable fulcrum.Without a passion for success,these opportunities and experiences become obsolete.Few find the correct balance between these variables and thus fail to reach their full potential.I,however,plan to be someone who finds that balance.

In an effort to build a successful lever for myself,I have searched for these experiences and opportunities all of my life.I have always had a passion for learning and a natural drive to succeed.At the beginning of my sophomore year in high school,I began to volunteer at a local,family owned zoo.This idea came from an innate passion for animals and an ongoing interest in science.At first,it was simply to complete a community service graduation requirement,but soon thereafter,I realized it was so much more.Work there was not like what most zoo volunteers experience.When other volunteers were following zookeepers and watching animals through cages at larger commercial zoos,I was spending nights"monkey sitting"my supervisor's newborn Japanese snow macaque.However,calling it work solely alludes to labor.It was more of a life-altering,unique opportunity and provided me with the experience that clenched my decision to major in animal science.

Along with my passion for animals,I am also always looking for ways to challenge myself intellectually.I am an active member of my school's Envirothon and Math teams and a Science Olympiad competitor.After high school,it has always been a goal of mine to attend an academically competitive university.A few years of researching brought me to Cornell’s College of Agriculture and Life Sciences(CALS).After attending the CALS open house and information lecture on the animal science department,I knew it was the perfect ft.One of the reoccurring themes of my conversations with students and professors alike was CALS dedication to shaping students into leaders.

With the experience I have gained in working at the zoo,I see myself emerging as a natural leader.Leaders are those few who do manage to balance the use of their "lever and fulcrum."In high school,I also have worked my way to positions such as; NHS President,Steel Drums Ensemble President,and Student representative to the School Board.Leadership roles like these are not something I plan to make the past after high school.In a school like CALS that has so many extracurricular activities to get involved in,I am sure obtaining positions similar to the ones I hold now would not be difficult.One of the clubs that I have seriously explored is the Pre-vet Society.veterinary School is something that I plan to pursue after college and hope to get involved in at the undergraduate level.

The building of a successful lever has only just begun for me.There is still so much that I have not seen or done.Life is full of opportunities that can lead to great experiences,one of my greatest being volunteering at the Woodland Zoo.With all of the opportunities CALS has to offer,if given the chance to attend,I am certain that I would utilize every one; becoming not only an active member of the university,but a leader of tomorrow.

考官点评:

这篇文章围绕着“杠杆和支点”展开论述,以此来表达自己对生活中支点的理解。在文章开头,作者就引用了阿基米德的名言。当在一篇文章中引用名人名言时,最好再用自己的话阐述一下名言的意义,或是自己从中得到的感悟。在这一点上,作者是非常用心的。他认为,生活中的经验与机会是杠杆,热情和个人价值就是那个必不可少的支点。缺少支点,人生的杠杆再好也发挥不了作用。这样的隐喻即突出了作者的写作水平,也让考官了解他的思维和个性。

在第二段,作者告诉读者:“为了修筑我人生中成功的杠杆,我为自己寻找了大量的经验和机会。”接下来,作者就详细描述了这些“经验和机会”,虽然从第一段的杠杆支点隐喻到第二段的经验描述略显唐突,但动物园那段“猴保姆”经历一下子就把上述的唐突冲淡了,读起来非常有趣。但作者写这些并不仅仅为了逗笑考官,而是还想告诉他——我对动物科学很感兴趣。