SCENE I.--The Library Enter SURFACE and SERVANTSURFACE.Mr.Stanley! and why should you think I would see him?--you must know he came to ask something!
SERVANT.Sir--I shouldn't have let him in but that Mr.Rowley came to the Door with him.
SURFACE.Pshaw!--Blockhead to suppose that I should now be in a Temper to receive visits from poor Relations!--well why don't you show the Fellow up?
SERVANT.I will--Sir--Why, Sir--it was not my Fault that Sir Peter discover'd my Lady----SURFACE.Go, fool!--
[Exit SERVANT.]
Sure Fortune never play'd a man of my policy such a Trick before--my character with Sir Peter!--my Hopes with Maria!--destroy'd in a moment!--I'm in a rare Humour to listen to other People's Distresses!--I shan't be able to bestow even a benevolent sentiment on Stanley--So! here--He comes and Rowley with him--I MUST try to recover myself, and put a little Charity into my Face however.----[Exit.]
Enter SIR OLIVER and ROWLEY
SIR OLIVER.What! does He avoid us? that was He--was it not?
ROWLEY.It was Sir--but I doubt you are come a little too abruptly--his Nerves are so weak that the sight of a poor Relation may be too much for him--I should have gone first to break you to him.
SIR OLIVER.A Plague of his Nerves--yet this is He whom Sir Peter extolls as a Man of the most Benevolent way of thinking!--ROWLEY.As to his way of thinking--I can't pretend to decide[,]
for, to do him justice He appears to have as much speculative Benevolence as any private Gentleman in the Kingdom--though he is seldom so sensual as to indulge himself in the exercise of it----SIR OLIVER.Yet [he] has a string of charitable Sentiments I suppose at his Fingers' ends!--ROWLEY.Or, rather at his Tongue's end Sir Oliver; for I believe there is no sentiment he has more faith in than that 'Charity begins at Home.'
SIR OLIVER.And his I presume is of that domestic sort which never stirs abroad at all.
ROWLEY.I doubt you'll find it so--but He's coming--I mustn't seem to interrupt you--and you know immediately--as you leave him--I come in to announce--your arrival in your real Character.
SIR OLIVER.True--and afterwards you'll meet me at Sir Peter's----ROWLEY.Without losing a moment.
[Exit.]
SIR OLIVER.So--I see he has premeditated a Denial by the Complaisance of his Features.
Enter SURFACE
SURFACE.Sir--I beg you ten thousand Pardons for keeping--you a moment waiting--Mr.Stanley--I presume----SIR OLIVER.At your Service.
SURFACE.Sir--I beg you will do me the honour to sit down--I entreat you Sir.
SIR OLIVER.Dear Sir there's no occasion--too civil by half!
SURFACE.I have not the Pleasure of knowing you, Mr.Stanley--but I am extremely happy to see you look so well--you were nearly related to my mother--I think Mr.Stanley----SIR OLIVER.I was Sir--so nearly that my present Poverty I fear may do discredit to her Wealthy Children--else I should not have presumed to trouble you.--SURFACE.Dear Sir--there needs no apology--He that is in Distress tho' a stranger has a right to claim kindred with the wealthy--I am sure I wish I was of that class, and had it in my power to offer you even a small relief.
SIR OLIVER.If your Unkle, Sir Oliver were here--I should have a Friend----SURFACE.I wish He was Sir, with all my Heart--you should not want an advocate with him--believe me Sir.
SIR OLIVER.I should not need one--my Distresses would recommend me.--but I imagined--his Bounty had enabled you to become the agent of his Charity.
SURFACE.My dear Sir--you are strangely misinformed--Sir Oliver is a worthy Man, a worthy man--a very worthy sort of Man--but avarice Mr.Stanley is the vice of age--I will tell you my good Sir in confidence:--what he has done for me has been a mere--nothing[;]
tho' People I know have thought otherwise and for my Part I never chose to contradict the Report.
SIR OLIVER.What!--has he never transmitted--you--Bullion--Rupees--Pagodas!
SURFACE.O Dear Sir--Nothing of the kind--no--no--a few Presents now and then--china, shawls, congo Tea, Avadavats--and indian Crackers--little more, believe me.
SIR OLIVER.Here's Gratitude for twelve thousand pounds!--Avadavats and indian Crackers.
SURFACE.Then my dear--Sir--you have heard, I doubt not, of the extravagance of my Brother--Sir--there are very few would credit what I have done for that unfortunate young man.
SIR OLIVER.Not I for one!
SURFACE.The sums I have lent him! indeed--I have been exceedingly to blame--it was an amiable weakness! however I don't pretend to defend it--and now I feel it doubly culpable--since it has deprived me of the power of serving YOU Mr.Stanley as my Heart directs----SIR OLIVER.Dissembler! Then Sir--you cannot assist me?
SURFACE.At Present it grieves me to say I cannot--but whenever I have the ability, you may depend upon hearing from me.
SIR OLIVER.I am extremely sorry----
SURFACE.Not more than I am believe me--to pity without the Power to relieve is still more painful than to ask and be denied----SIR OLIVER.Kind Sir--your most obedient humble servant.
SURFACE.You leave me deeply affected Mr.Stanley--William--be ready to open the door----
SIR OLIVER.O, Dear Sir, no ceremony----SURFACE.Your very obedient----
SIR OLIVER.Your most obsequious----
SURFACE.You may depend on hearing from me whenever I can be of service----SIR OLIVER.Sweet Sir--you are too good----SURFACE.In the mean time I wish you Health and Spirits----SIR OLIVER.Your ever grateful and perpetual humble Servant----SURFACE.Sir--yours as sincerely----
SIR OLIVER.Charles!--you are my Heir.
[Exit.]
SURFACE, solus Soh!--This is one bad effect of a good Character--it invites applications from the unfortunate and there needs no small degree of address to gain the reputation of Benevolence without incurring the expence.--The silver ore of pure Charity is an expensive article in the catalogue of a man's good Qualities--whereas the sentimental French Plate I use instead of it makes just as good a shew--and pays no tax.
Enter ROWLEY