The curtain rises on the BARTHWICK'S dining-room, large, modern, and well furnished; the window curtains drawn.
Electric light is burning.On the large round dining-table is set out a tray with whisky, a syphon, and a silver cigarette-box.It is past midnight.
A fumbling is heard outside the door.It is opened suddenly;JACK BARTHWICK seems to fall into the room.He stands holding by the door knob, staring before him, with a beatific smile.
He is in evening dress and opera hat, and carries in his hand a sky-blue velvet lady's reticule.His boyish face is freshly coloured and clean-shaven.An overcoat is hanging on his arm.
JACK.Hello! I've got home all ri----[Defiantly.] Who says I sh 'd never 've opened th' door without 'sistance.[He staggers in, fumbling with the reticule.A lady's handkerchief and purse of crimson silk fall out.] Serve her joll' well right--everything droppin' out.Th' cat.I 've scored her off--I 've got her bag.
[He swings the reticule.] Serves her joly' well right.[He takes a cigarette out of the silver box and puts it in his mouth.] Never gave tha' fellow anything! [He hunts through all his pockets and pulls a shilling out; it drops and rolls away.He looks for it.]
Beastly shilling! [He looks again.] Base ingratitude! Absolutely nothing.[He laughs.] Mus' tell him I've got absolutely nothing.
[He lurches through the door and down a corridor, and presently returns, followed by JONES, who is advanced in liquor.JONES, about thirty years of age, has hollow cheeks, black circles round his eyes, and rusty clothes: He looks as though he might be unemployed, and enters in a hang-dog manner.]
JACK.Sh! sh! sh! Don't you make a noise, whatever you do.Shu'
the door, an' have a drink.[Very solemnly.] You helped me to open the door--I 've got nothin, for you.This is my house.My father's name's Barthwick; he's Member of Parliament--Liberal Member of Parliament: I've told you that before.Have a drink! [He pours out whisky and drinks it up.] I'm not drunk [Subsiding on a sofa.]
Tha's all right.Wha's your name? My name's Barthwick, so's my father's; I'm a Liberal too--wha're you?
JONES.[In a thick, sardonic voice.] I'm a bloomin' Conservative.
My name's Jones! My wife works 'ere; she's the char; she works 'ere.
JACK.Jones? [He laughs.] There's 'nother Jones at College with me.I'm not a Socialist myself; I'm a Liberal--there's ve--lill difference, because of the principles of the Lib--Liberal Party.
We're all equal before the law--tha's rot, tha's silly.[Laughs.]
Wha' was I about to say? Give me some whisky.
[JONES gives him the whisky he desires, together with a squirt of syphon.]
Wha' I was goin' tell you was--I 've had a row with her.[He waves the reticule.] Have a drink, Jonessh 'd never have got in without you--tha 's why I 'm giving you a drink.Don' care who knows I've scored her off.Th' cat! [He throws his feet up on the sofa.]
Don' you make a noise, whatever you do.You pour out a drink--you make yourself good long, long drink--you take cigarette--you take anything you like.Sh'd never have got in without you.[Closing his eyes.] You're a Tory--you're a Tory Socialist.I'm Liberal myself--have a drink--I 'm an excel'nt chap.
[His head drops back.He, smiling, falls asleep, and JONESstands looking at him; then, snatching up JACK's glass, he drinks it off.He picks the reticule from off JACK'Sshirt-front, holds it to the light, and smells at it.]
JONES.Been on the tiles and brought 'ome some of yer cat's fur.
[He stuffs it into JACK's breast pocket.]
JACK.[Murmuring.] I 've scored you off! You cat!
[JONES looks around him furtively; he pours out whisky and drinks it.From the silver box he takes a cigarette, puffs at it, and drinks more whisky.There is no sobriety left in him.]
JONES.Fat lot o' things they've got 'ere! [He sees the crimson purse lying on the floor.] More cat's fur.Puss, puss! [He fingers it, drops it on the tray, and looks at JACK.] Calf! Fat calf! [He sees his own presentment in a mirror.Lifting his hands, with fingers spread, he stares at it; then looks again at JACK, clenching his fist as if to batter in his sleeping, smiling face.
Suddenly he tilts the rest o f the whisky into the glass and drinks it.With cunning glee he takes the silver box and purse and pockets them.] I 'll score you off too, that 's wot I 'll do!
[He gives a little snarling laugh and lurches to the door.His shoulder rubs against the switch; the light goes out.There is a sound as of a closing outer door.]
The curtain falls.
The curtain rises again at once.