Jones.I [in a loud voice] don't know the man.
JONES.Well, I know you!
BALD CONSTABLE.HSSh!
ROPER.Now, did you come in late on the night of Easter Monday?
JACK.Yes.
ROPER.And did you by mistake leave your latch key in the door?
JACK.Yes.
MAGISTRATE.Oh! You left your latch-key in the door?
ROPER.And is that all you can remember about your coming in?
JACK.[In a loud voice.] Yes, it is.
MAGISTRATE.Now, you have heard the male prisoner's story, what do you say to that?
JACK.[Turning to the MAGISTRATE, speaks suddenly in a confident, straight-forward voice.] The fact of the matter is, sir, that I 'd been out to the theatre that night, and had supper afterwards, and Icame in late.
MAGISTRATE.Do you remember this man being outside when you came in?
JACK.No, Sir.[He hesitates.] I don't think I do.
MAGISTRATE.[Somewhat puzzled.] Well, did he help you to open the door, as he says? Did any one help you to open the door?
JACK.No, sir--I don't think so, sir--I don't know.
MAGISTRATE.You don't know? But you must know.It is n't a usual thing for you to have the door opened for you, is it?
JACK.[With a shamefaced smile.] No.
MAGISTRATE.Very well, then----
JACK.[Desperately.] The fact of the matter is, sir, I'm afraid I'd had too much champagne that night.
MAGISTRATE.[Smiling.] Oh! you'd had too much champagne?
JONES.May I ask the gentleman a question?
MAGISTRATE.Yes--yes--you may ask him what questions you like.
JONES.Don't you remember you said you was a Liberal, same as your father, and you asked me wot I was?
JACK.[With his hand against his brow.] I seem to remember----JONES.And I said to you, "I'm a bloomin' Conservative," I said;an' you said to me, "You look more like one of these 'ere Socialists.Take wotever you like," you said.
JACK.[With sudden resolution.] No, I don't.I don't remember anything of the sort.
JONES.Well, I do, an' my word's as good as yours.I 've never been had up in a police court before.Look 'ere, don't you remember you had a sky-blue bag in your 'and [BARTHWICK jumps.]
ROPER.I submit to your worship that these questions are hardly to the point, the prisoner having admitted that he himself does not remember anything.[There is a smile on the face of Justice.] It is a case of the blind leading the blind.
JONES.[Violently.] I've done no more than wot he 'as.I'm a poor man; I've got no money an' no friends--he 's a toff--he can do wot Ican't.
MAGISTRATE: Now, now? All this won't help you--you must be quiet.
You say you took this box? Now, what made you take it? Were you pressed for money?
JONES.I'm always pressed for money.
MAGISTRATE.Was that the reason you took it?
JONES.No.
MAGISTRATE.[To SNOW.] Was anything found on him?
SNOW.Yes, your worship.There was six pounds twelve shillin's found on him, and this purse.
[The red silk purse is handed to the MAGISTRATE.BARTHWICKrises his seat, but hastily sits down again.]
MAGISTRATE.[Staring at the purse.] Yes, yes--let me see [There is a silence.] No, no, I 've nothing before me as to the purse.How did you come by all that money?
JONES.[After a long pause, suddenly.] I declines to say.
MAGISTRATE.But if you had all that money, what made you take this box?
JONES.I took it out of spite.
MAGISTRATE.[Hissing, with protruded neck.] You took it out of spite? Well now, that's something! But do you imagine you can go about the town taking things out of spite?
JONES.If you had my life, if you'd been out of work----MAGISTRATE.Yes, yes; I know--because you're out of work you think it's an excuse for everything.
JONES.[Pointing at JACK.] You ask 'im wot made 'im take the----ROPER.[Quietly.] Does your Worship require this witness in the box any longer?
MAGISTRATE.[Ironically.] I think not; he is hardly profitable.
[JACK leaves the witness-box, and hanging his head, resumes his seat.]
JONES.You ask 'im wot made 'im take the lady's----[But the BALD CONSTABLE catches him by the sleeve.]
BALD CONSTABLE.SSSh!
MAGISTRATE.[Emphatically.] Now listen to me.
I 've nothing to do with what he may or may not have taken.Why did you resist the police in the execution of their duty?