[BERTLEY covers his lips.]
CALWAY.[To ANN--descending.] By the look of his face, as far as one can see it, I should say there was a leaning towards mania.Iknow the treatment.
[There come three loud knocks on the door.WELLWYN and ANNexchange a glance of consternation.
ANN.Who's that?
WELLWYN.It sounds like Sir Thomas.
CALWAY.Sir Thomas Hoxton?
WELLWYN.[Nodding.] Awfully sorry, Professor.You see, we--CALWAY.Not at all.Only, I must decline to be involved in argument with him, please.
BERTLEY.He has experience.We might get his opinion, don't you think?
CALWAY.On a point of reform? A J.P.!
BERTLEY.[Deprecating.] My dear Sir--we needn't take it.
[The three knocks resound with extraordinary fury.]
ANN.You'd better open the door, Daddy.
[WELLWYN opens the door.SIR, THOMAS HOXTON is disclosed in a fur overcoat and top hat.His square, well-coloured face is remarkable for a massive jaw, dominating all that comes above it.His Voice is resolute.]
HOXTON.Afraid I didn't make myself heard.
WELLWYN.So good of you to come, Sir Thomas.Canon Bertley! [They greet.] Professor CALWAY you know, I think.
HOXTON.[Ominously.] I do.
[They almost greet.An awkward pause.]
ANN.[Blurting it out.] That old cabman I told you of's been drinking father's rum.
BERTLEY.We were just discussing what's to be done with him, Sir Thomas.One wants to do the very best, of course.The question of reform is always delicate.
CALWAY.I beg your pardon.There is no question here.
HOXTON.[Abruptly.] Oh! Is he in the house?
ANN.In there.
HOXTON.Works for you, eh?
WELLWYN.Er--yes.
HOXTON.Let's have a look at him!
[An embarrassed pause.]
BERTLEY.Well--the fact is, Sir Thomas--CALWAY.When last under observation--
ANN.He was sitting on the floor.
WELLWYN.I don't want the old fellow to feel he's being made a show of.Disgusting to be spied at, Ann.
ANN.You can't, Daddy! He's drunk.
HOXTON.Never mind, Miss WELLWYN.Hundreds of these fellows before me in my time.[At CALWAY.] The only thing is a sharp lesson!
CALWAY.I disagree.I've seen the man; what he requires is steady control, and the bobbins treatment.
[WELLWYN approaches them with fearful interest.]
HOXTON.Not a bit of it! He wants one for his knob! Brace 'em up!
It's the only thing.
BERTLEY.Personally, I think that if he were spoken to seriously CALWAY.I cannot walk arm in arm with a crab!
HOXTON.[Approaching CALWAY.] I beg your pardon?
CALWAY.[Moving back a little.] You're moving backwards, Sir Thomas.I've told you before, convinced reactionaryism, in these days--[There comes a single knock on the street door.]
BERTLEY.[Looking at his watch.] D'you know, I'm rather afraid this may be our young husband, WELLWYN.I told him half-past four.
WELLWYN.Oh! Ah! Yes.[Going towards the two reformers.] Shall we go into the house, Professor, and settle the question quietly while the Vicar sees a young man?
CALWAY.[Pale with uncompleted statement, and gravitating insensibly in the direction indicated.] The merest sense of continuity--a ****** instinct for order--HOXTON.[Following.] The only way to get order, sir, is to bring the disorderly up with a round turn.[CALWAY turns to him in the doorway.] You people without practical experience--CALWAY.If you'll listen to me a minute.
HOXTON.I can show you in a mo--
[They vanish through the door.]
WELLWYN.I was afraid of it.
BERTLEY.The two points of view.Pleasant to see such keenness.
I may want you, WELLWYN.And Ann perhaps had better not be present.
WELLWYN.[Relieved.] Quite so! My dear!
[ANN goes reluctantly.WELLWYN opens the street door.The lamp outside has just been lighted, and, by its gleam, is seen the figure of RORY MEGAN, thin, pale, youthful.ANN turning at the door into the house gives him a long, inquisitive look, then goes.]
WELLWYN.Is that Megan?
MEGAN.Yus.
WELLWYN.Come in.
[MEGAN comes in.There follows an awkward silence, during which WELLWYN turns up the light, then goes to the tea table and pours out a glass of tea and rum.]
BERTLEY.[Kindly.] Now, my boy, how is it that you and your wife are living apart like this?
MEGAN.I dunno.
BERTLEY.Well, if you don't, none of us are very likely to, are we?
MEGAN.That's what I thought, as I was comin' along.
WELLWYN.[Twinkling.] Have some tea, Megan? [Handing him the glass.] What d'you think of her picture? 'Tisn't quite finished.
MEGAN.[After scrutiny.] I seen her look like it--once.
WELLWYN.Good! When was that?
MEGAN.[Stoically.] When she 'ad the measles.
[He drinks.
WELLWYN.[Ruminating.] I see--yes.I quite see feverish!
BERTLEY.My dear WELLWYN, let me-- [To, MEGAN.] Now, I hope you're willing to come together again, and to maintain her?
MEGAN.If she'll maintain me.
BERTLEY.Oh! but-- I see, you mean you're in the same line of business?
MEGAN.Yus.
BERTLEY.And lean on each other.Quite so!
MEGAN.I leans on 'er mostly--with 'er looks.
BERTLEY.Indeed! Very interesting--that!
MEGAN.Yus.Sometimes she'll take 'arf a crown off of a toff.[He looks at WELLWYN.]
WELLWYN.[Twinkling.] I apologise to you, Megan.
MEGAN.[With a faint smile.] I could do with a bit more of it.
BERTLEY.[Dubiously.] Yes! Yes! Now, my boy, I've heard you bet on horses.
MEGAN.No, I don't.
BERTLEY.Play cards, then? Come! Don't be afraid to acknowledge it.
MEGAN.When I'm 'ard up--yus.
BERTLEY.But don't you know that's ruination?
MEGAN.Depends.Sometimes I wins a lot.
BERTLEY.You know that's not at all what I mean.Come, promise me to give it up.
MEGAN.I dunno abaht that.
BERTLEY.Now, there's a good fellow.Make a big effort and throw the habit off!
MEGAN.Comes over me--same as it might over you.
BERTLEY.Over me! How do you mean, my boy?
MEGAN.[With a look up.] To tork!
[WELLWYN, turning to the picture, makes a funny little noise.]
BERTLEY.[Maintaining his good humour.] A hit! But you forget, you know, to talk's my business.It's not yours to gamble.
MEGAN.You try sellin' flowers.If that ain't a--gamble BERTLEY.I'm afraid we're wandering a little from the point.