In our many promenades and colloquies,which were of the freest,most copious and pleasant nature,religion often formed a topic,and perhaps towards the beginning of our intercourse was the prevailing topic.Sterling seemed much engrossed in matters theological,and led the conversation towards such;talked often about Church,Christianity Anglican and other,how essential the belief in it to man;then,on the other side,about Pantheism and such like;--all in the Coleridge dialect,and with eloquence and volubility to all lengths.I remember his insisting often and with emphasis on what he called a "personal God,"and other high topics,of which it was not always pleasant to give account in the argumentative form,in a loud hurried voice,walking and arguing through the fields or streets.Though of warm quick feelings,very positive in his opinions,and vehemently eager to convince and conquer in such discussions,I seldom or never saw the least anger in him against me or any friend.When the blows of contradiction came too thick,he could with consummate dexterity whisk aside out of their way;prick into his adversary on some new quarter;or gracefully flourishing his weapon,end the duel in some handsome manner.One angry glance I remember in him,and it was but a glance,and gone in a moment."Flat Pantheism!"urged he once (which he would often enough do about this time),as if triumphantly,of something or other,in the fire of a debate,in my hearing:"It is mere Pantheism,that!"--"And suppose it were Pot-theism?"cried the other:"If the thing is true!"--Sterling did look hurt at such flippant heterodoxy,for a moment.The soul of his own creed,in those days,was far other than this indifference to Pot or Pan in such departments of inquiry.
To me his sentiments for most part were lovable and admirable,though in the logical outcome there was everywhere room for opposition.Iadmired the temper,the longing towards antique heroism,in this young man of the nineteenth century;but saw not how,except in some German-English empire of the air,he was ever to realize it on those terms.In fact,it became clear to me more and more that here was nobleness of heart striving towards all nobleness;here was ardent recognition of the worth of Christianity,for one thing;but no belief in it at all,in my sense of the word belief,--no belief but one definable as mere theoretic moonshine,which would never stand the wind and weather of fact.Nay it struck me farther that Sterling's was not intrinsically,nor had ever been in the highest or chief degree,a devotional mind.Of course all excellence in man,and worship as the supreme excellence,was part of the inheritance of this gifted man:but if called to define him,I should say,Artist not Saint was the real bent of his being.He had endless admiration,but intrinsically rather a deficiency of reverence in comparison.Fear,with its corollaries,on the religious side,he appeared to have none,nor ever to have had any.
In short,it was a strange enough symptom to me of the bewildered condition of the world,to behold a man of this temper,and of this veracity and nobleness,self-consecrated here,by free volition and deliberate selection,to be a Christian Priest;and zealously struggling to fancy himself such in very truth.Undoubtedly a singular present fact;--from which,as from their point of intersection,great perplexities and aberrations in the past,and considerable confusions in the future might be seen ominously radiating.Happily our friend,as I said,needed little hope.To-day with its activities was always bright and rich to him.His unmanageable,dislocated,devastated world,spiritual or economical,lay all illuminated in living sunshine,****** it almost beautiful to his eyes,and gave him no hypochondria.A richer soul,in the way of natural outfit for felicity,for joyful activity in this world,so far as his strength would go,was nowhere to be met with.
The Letters which Mr.Hare has printed,Letters addressed,I imagine,mostly to himself,in this and the following year or two,give record of abundant changeful plannings and laborings,on the part of Sterling;still chiefly in the theological department.Translation from Tholuck,from Schleiermacher;treatise on this thing,then on that,are on the anvil:it is a life of abstruse vague speculations,singularly cheerful and hopeful withal,about Will,Morals,Jonathan Edwards,Jewhood,Manhood,and of Books to be written on these topics.
Part of which adventurous vague plans,as the Translation from Tholuck,he actually performed;other greater part,merging always into wider undertakings,remained plan merely.I remember he talked often about Tholuck,Schleiermacher,and others of that stamp;and looked disappointed,though full of good nature,at my obstinate indifference to them and their affairs.