The acquaintance,in spite of some Opposition,grew with vigor,and rapidly ripened:and "at Fehan Church,Diocese of Derry,"where the Bride's father had a country-house,"on Thursday 5th April,1804,Hester Coningham,only daughter of John Coningham,Esquire,Merchant in Derry,and of Elizabeth Campbell his wife,"was wedded to Captain Sterling;she happiest to him happiest,--as by Nature's kind law it is arranged.
Mrs.Sterling,even in her later days,had still traces of the old beauty:then and always she was a woman of delicate,pious,affectionate character;exemplary as a wife,a mother and a friend.Arefined female nature;something tremulous in it,timid,and with a certain rural freshness still unweakened by long converse with the world.The tall slim figure,always of a kind of quaker neatness;the innocent anxious face,anxious bright hazel eyes;the timid,yet gracefully cordial ways,the natural intelligence,instinctive sense and worth,were very characteristic.Her voice too;with its something of soft querulousness,easily adapting itself to a light thin-flowing style of mirth on occasion,was characteristic:she had retained her Ulster intonations,and was withal somewhat copious in speech.A fine tremulously sensitive nature,strong chiefly on the side of the affections,and the graceful insights and activities that depend on these:--truly a beautiful,much-suffering,much-loving house-mother.From her chiefly,as one could discern,John Sterling had derived the delicate _aroma_of his nature,its piety,clearness,sincerity;as from his Father,the ready practical gifts,the impetuosities and the audacities,were also (though in strange new form)visibly inherited.A man was lucky to have such a Mother;to have such Parents as both his were.
Meanwhile the new Wife appears to have had,for the present,no marriage-portion;neither was Edward Sterling rich,--according to his own ideas and aims,far from it.Of course he soon found that the fluctuating barrack-life,especially with no outlooks of speedy promotion,was little suited to his new circumstances:but how change it?His father was now dead;from whom he had inherited the Speaker Pension of two hundred pounds;but of available probably little or nothing more.The rents of the small family estate,I suppose,and other property,had gone to portion sisters.Two hundred pounds,and the pay of a marching captain:within the limits of that revenue all plans of his had to restrict themselves at present.
He continued for some time longer in the Army;his wife undivided from him by the hardships,of that way of life.Their first son Anthony (Captain Anthony Sterling,the only child who now survives)was born to them in this position,while lying at Dundalk,in January,1805.
Two months later,some eleven months after their marriage,the regiment was broken;and Captain Sterling,declining to serve elsewhere on the terms offered,and willingly accepting such decision of his doubts,was reduced to half-pay.This was the end of his soldiering:some five or six years in all;from which he had derived for life,among other things,a decided military bearing,whereof he was rather proud;an incapacity for practicing law;--and considerable uncertainty as to what his next course of life was now to be.
For the present,his views lay towards farming:to establish himself,if not as country gentleman,which was an unattainable ambition,then at least as some kind of gentleman-farmer which had a flattering resemblance to that.Kaimes Castle with a reasonable extent of land,which,in his inquiries after farms,had turned up,was his first place of settlement in this new capacity;and here,for some few months,he had established himself when John his second child was born.This was Captain Sterling's first attempt towards a fixed course of life;not a very wise one,I have understood:--yet on the whole,who,then and there,could have pointed out to him a wiser?
A fixed course of life and activity he could never attain,or not till very late;and this doubtless was among the important points of his destiny,and acted both on his own character and that of those who had to attend him on his wayfarings.