书城公版THE NEW MAGDALEN
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第93章

"Sad as my experience has been, it has not taught me to think ill of human nature.I had found kind hearts to feel for me in my former troubles; and I had friends--faithful, self-denying, generous friends--among my sisters in adversity now.One of these poor women (she has gone, I am glad to think, from the world that used her so hardly) especially attracted my sympathies.She was the gentlest, the most unselfish creature I have ever met with.We lived together like sisters.More than once in the dark hours when the thought of self-destruction comes to a desperate woman, the image of my poor devoted friend, left to suffer alone, rose in my mind and restrained me.You will hardly understand it, but even we had our happy days.When she or I had a few shillings to spare, we used to offer one another little presents, and enjoy our ****** pleasure in giving and receiving as keenly as if we had been the most reputable women living.

"One day I took my friend into a shop to buy her a ribbon--only a bow for her dress.She was to choose it, and I was to pay for it, and it was to be the prettiest ribbon that money could buy.

"The shop was full; we had to wait a little before we could be served.

"Next to me, as I stood at the counter with my companion, was a gaudily-dressed woman, looking at some handkerchiefs.The handkerchiefs were finely embroidered, but the smart lady was hard to please.She tumbled them up disdainfully in a heap, and asked for other specimens from the stock in the shop.The man, in clearing the handkerchiefs out of the way, suddenly missed one.He was quite sure of it, from a peculiarity in the embroidery which made the handkerchief especially noticeable.I was poorly dressed, and I was close to the handkerchiefs.After one look at me he shouted to the superintendent: 'Shut the door! There is a thief in the shop!'

"The door was closed; the lost handkerchief was vainly sought for on the counter and on the floor.A robbery had been committed; and I was accused of being the thief.

"I will say nothing of what I felt--I will only tell you what happened.

"I was searched, and the handkerchief was discovered on me.The woman who had stood next to me, on finding herself threatened with discovery, had no doubt contrived to slip the stolen handkerchief into my pocket.Only an accomplished thief could have escaped detection in that way without my knowledge.It was useless, in the face of the facts, to declare my innocence.I had no character to appeal to.My friend tried to speak for me; but what was she? Only a lost woman like myself.My landlady's evidence in favor of my honesty produced no effect; it was against her that she let lodgings to people in my position.I was prosecuted, and found guilty.The tale of my disgrace is now complete, Mr.Holmcroft.No matter whether I was innocent or not, the shame of it remains--I have been imprisoned for theft.

"The matron of the prison was the next person who took an interest in me.She reported favorably of my behavior to the authorities and when I had served my time (as the phrase was among us) she gave me a letter to the kind friend and guardian of my later years--to the lady who is coming here to take me back with her to the Refuge.

"From this time the story of my life is little more than the story of a woman's vain efforts to recover her lost place in the world.