书城公版The Autobiography of a Quack
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第13章 THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A QUACK(12)

At this stage I began to apprehend very distinctly that the time had arrived when it would be wiser for me to delay escape no longer.Accordingly, I waited until I heard the doctor rise, and at once stepped quietly away to the far end of the corridor.I had scarcely reached it when the door which closed it was opened by a turnkey who had come to relieve the doctor and let me into the cell.Of course my peril was imminent.If the turnkey mentioned my near presence to the prisoner, immediate disclosure would follow.

If some lapse of time were secured before the warden obeyed the request from File that he should visit him, I might gain thus a much-needed hour, but hardly more.I therefore said to the officer: ``Tell the warden that the doctor wishes to remain an hour longer with the prisoner, and that I shall return myself at the end of that time.''

``Very good, sir,'' said the turnkey, allowing me to pass out, and, as he followed me, relocking the door of the corridor.``I'll tell him,'' he said.It is needless to repeat that I never had the least idea of carrying out the ridiculous scheme with which I had deluded File and Stagers, but so far Stagers's watchfulness had given me no chance to escape.

In a few moments I was outside of the jail gate, and saw my fellow-clergyman, Mr.

Stagers, in full broadcloth and white tie, coming down the street toward me.As usual, he was on his guard; but this time he had to deal with a man grown perfectly desperate, with everything to win and nothing to lose.My plans were made, and, wild as they were, I thought them worth the trying.I must evade this man's terrible watch.How keen it was, you cannot imagine;but it was aided by three of the infamous gang to which File had belonged, for without these spies no one person could possibly have sustained so perfect a system.

I took Stagers's arm.``What time,'' said I, ``does the first train start for Dayton?''

``At twelve.What do you want?''

``How far is it?''

``About fifteen miles,'' he replied.

``Good.I can get back by eight o'clock to-night.''

``Easily,'' said Stagers, ``if you go.What do you want?''

``I want a smaller tube to put in the wind-pipe--must have it, in fact.''

``Well, I don't like it,'' said he, ``but the thing's got to go through somehow.If you must go, I will go along myself.Can't lose sight of you, doc, just at present.You're monstrous precious.Did you tell File?''

``Yes,'' said I; ``he's all right.Come.

We've no time to lose.''

Nor had we.Within twenty minutes we were seated in the last car of a long train, and running at the rate of twenty miles an hour toward Dayton.In about ten minutes I asked Stagers for a cigar.

``Can't smoke here,'' said he.

``No,'' I answered; ``of course not.I'll go forward into the smoking-car.''

``Come along,'' said he, and we went through the train.

I was not sorry he had gone with me when I found in the smoking-car one of the spies who had been watching me so constantly.

Stagers nodded to him and grinned at me, and we sat down together.

``Chut!'' said I, ``left my cigar on the window-ledge in the hindmost car.Be back in a moment.''

This time, for a wonder, Stagers allowed me to leave unaccompanied.I hastened through to the nearer end of the hindmost car, and stood on the platform.I instantly cut the signal-cord.Then I knelt down, and, waiting until the two cars ran together, Itugged at the connecting-pin.As the cars came together, I could lift it a little, then as the strain came on the coupling the pin held fast.At last I made a great effort, and out it came.The car I was on instantly lost speed, and there on the other platform, a hundred feet away, was Stagers shaking his fist at me.He was beaten, and he knew it.

In the end few people have been able to get ahead of me.

The retreating train was half a mile away around the curve as I screwed up the brake on my car hard enough to bring it nearly to a stand.I did not wait for it to stop entirely before I slipped off the steps, leaving the other passengers to dispose of themselves as they might until their absence should be discovered and the rest of the train return.

As I wish rather to illustrate my very remarkable professional career than to amuse by describing its lesser incidents, I shall not linger to tell how I succeeded, at last, in reaching St.Louis.Fortunately, I had never ceased to anticipate the moment when escape from File and his friends would be possible, so that I always carried about with me the very small funds with which I had hastily provided myself upon leaving.The whole amount did not exceed sixty-five dollars, but with this, and a gold watch worth twice as much, I hoped to be able to subsist until my own ingenuity enabled me to provide more liberally for the future.Naturally enough, I scanned the papers closely to discover some account of File's death and of the disclosures concerning myself which he was only too likely to have made.

I came at last on an account of how he had poisoned himself, and so escaped the hangman.

I never learned what he had said about me, but I was quite sure he had not let me off easy.

I felt that this failure to announce his confessions was probably due to a desire on the part of the police to avoid alarming me.Be this as it may, I remained long ignorant as to whether or not the villain betrayed my part in that unusual coroner's inquest.

Before many days I had resolved to make another and a bold venture.Accordingly appeared in the St.Louis papers an advertisement to the effect that Dr.von Ingenhoff, the well-known German physician, who had spent two years on the Plains acquiring a knowledge of Indian medicine, was prepared to treat all diseases by vegetable remedies alone.

Dr.von Ingenhoff would remain in St.Louis for two weeks, and was to be found at the Grayson House every day from ten until two o'clock.

To my delight, I got two patients the first day.The next I had twice as many, when at once I hired two connecting rooms, and made a very useful arrangement, which I may describe dramatically in the following way: