If I slept I do not know.I may have done so.Certainly I must have stayed there many hours.I was dull and confused, and yet on my guard, for when far into the night Iheard noises below, I ran up the steeper steps which ascend to the steeple, where are the bells.Half-way up I sat down on the stair.The place was cold and the darkness deep.Then I heard the eight ringers down below.One said: ``Never knowed a Christmas like this since Zeb Sanderaft died.Come, boys!'' I knew it must be close on to mid-night.Now they would play a Christmas carol.I used every Christmas to be roused up and carried here and set on dad's shoulder.
When they were done ringing, Number Two always gave me a box of sugar-plums and a large red apple.As they rang off, my father would cry out, ``One, two,'' and so on, and then cry, ``Elias, all over town people are opening windows to listen.'' I seemed to hear him as I sat in the gloom.Then Iheard, ``All ready; one, two,'' and they rang the Christmas carol.Overhead I heard the great bells ringing out:
And all the bells on earth shall ring On Christmas day, on Christmas day.
I felt suddenly excited, and began to hum the air.Great heavens! There was the old woman, Aunt Rachel, with her face going twitch, twitch, the croak of her breathing keeping a sort of mad time with ``On Christmas day, on Christmas day.'' I jumped up.
She was gone.I knew in a hazy sort of way what was the matter with me, but I had still the sense to sit down and wait.I said now it would be snakes, for once before I had been almost as bad.But what I did see was a little curly-headed boy in a white frock and pantalets, climbing up the stairs right leg first; so queer of me to have noticed that.Iknew I was that boy.He was an innocent-
looking little chap, and was smiling.He seemed to me to grow and grow, and at last was a big, red-headed man with a live rat in his hand.I saw nothing more, but I surely knew I needed whisky.I waited until all was still, and got down and out, for I knew every window.I soon found a tavern, and got a drink and some food.At once my fear left me.I was warm at last and clear of head, and had again my natural courage.Iwas well aware that I was on the edge of delirium tremens and must be most prudent.
I paid in advance for my room and treated myself as I had done many another.Only a man of unusual force could have managed his own case as I did.I went out only at night, and in a week was well enough to travel.During this time I saw now and then that grinning little fellow.Sometimes he had an apple and was eating it.I do not know why he was worse to me than snakes, or the twitchy old woman with her wide eyes of glass, and that jerk, jerk, to right.
I decided to go back to Boston.I got to New York prudently in a roundabout way, and in two weeks' time was traveling east from Albany.
I felt well, and my spirits began at last to rise to their usual level.When I arrived in Boston I set myself to thinking how best Icould contrive to enjoy life and at the same time to increase my means.I possessed sufficient capital, and was able and ready to embark in whatever promised the best returns with the smallest personal risks.I settled myself in a suburb, paid off a few pressing claims, and began to reflect with my ordinary sagacity.
We were now in the midst of a most absurd war with the South, and it was becoming difficult to escape the net of conscription.It might be wise to think of this in time.
Europe seemed a desirable residence, but Ineeded more money to make this agreeable, and an investment for my brains was what I wanted most.Many schemes presented themselves as worthy the application of industry and talent, but none of them altogether suited my case.I thought at times of traveling as a physiological lecturer, combining with it the business of a practitioner:
scare the audience at night with an enumeration of symptoms which belong to ten out of every dozen healthy people, and then doctor such of them as are gulls enough to consult me next day.The bigger the fright the better the pay.I was a little timid, however, about facing large audiences, as a man will be naturally if he has lived a life of adventure, so that upon due consideration Igave up the idea altogether.
The patent medicine business also looked well enough, but it is somewhat overdone at all times, and requires a heavy outlay, with the probable result of ill success.Indeed, Ibelieve one hundred quack remedies fail for one that succeeds, and millions must have been wasted in placards, bills, and advertisements, which never returned half their value to the speculator.I think I shall some day beguile my time with writing an account of the principal quack remedies which have met with success.They are few in number, after all, as any one must know who recalls the countless pills and tonics which are puffed awhile on the fences, and disappear, to be heard of no more.
Lastly, I inclined for a while to undertake a private insane asylum, which appeared to me to offer facilities for money-******, as to which, however, I may have been deceived by the writings of certain popular novelists.Iwent so far, I may say, as actually to visit Concord for the purpose of finding a pleasant locality and a suitable atmosphere.Upon reflection I abandoned my plans, as involving too much personal labor to suit one of my easy frame of mind.