"I wish I could make up my mind as to whether he is outrageously handsome or desperately ugly," remarked Helen of Troy."He fascinates me, but whether it is the fascination of liking or of horror I can't tell, and it's quite important.""Ladies," resumed the captain, his uneasiness increasing as he came to the point, "I am but the agent of your respective husbands, fiances, and other masculine guardians.The gentlemen who were previously the tenants of this club-house have delegated to me the important, and I may add highly agreeable, task of showing you the world.They have noted of late years the growth of that feeling of unrest which is becoming every day more and more conspicuous in feminine circles in all parts of the universe--on the earth, where women are clamoring to vote, and to be allowed to go out late at night without an escort, in Hades, where, as you are no doubt aware, the management of the government has fallen almost wholly into the hands of the Furies; and even in the halls of Jupiter himself, where, I am credibly informed, Juno has been taking private lessons in the art of hurling thunderbolts--information which the extraordinary quality of recent electrical storms on the earth would seem to confirm.Thunderbolts of late years have been cast hither and yon in a most erratic fashion, striking where they were least expected, as those of you who keep in touch with the outer world must be fully aware.Now, actuated by their usual broad and liberal motives, the men of Hades wish to meet the views of you ladies to just that extent that your views are based upon a wise selection, in turn based upon experience, and they have come to me and in so many words have said, 'Mr.Kidd, we wish the women of Hades to see the world.We want them to be satisfied.We do not like this constantly increasing spirit of unrest.We, who have seen all the life that we care to see, do not ourselves feel equal to the task of showing them about.We will pay you liberally if you will take our House-boat, which they have always been anxious to enter, and personally conduct our beloved ones to Paris, London, and elsewhere.Let them see as much of life as they can stand.Accord them every privilege.Spare no expense; only bring them back again to us safe and sound.' These were their words, ladies.I asked them why they didn't come along themselves, saying that even if they were tired of it all, they should make some personal sacrifice to your comfort; and they answered, reasonably and well, that they would be only too glad to do so, but that they feared they might unconsciously seem to exert a repressing influence upon you.'We want them to feel absolutely free, Captain Kidd,' said they, 'and if we are along they may not feel so.' The answer was convincing, ladies, and I accepted the commission.""But we knew nothing of all this," interposed Elizabeth."The subject was not broached to us by our husbands, brothers, fiances, or fathers.My brother, Sir Walter Raleigh--"Cleopatra chuckled."Brother! Brother's good," she said.
"Well, that's what he is," retorted Elizabeth, quickly."I promised to be a sister to him, and I'm going to keep my word.That's the kind of a queen I am.I was about to remark," Elizabeth added, turning to the captain, "that my brother, Sir Walter Raleigh, never even hinted at any such plan, and usually he asked my advice in matters of so great importance.""That is easily accounted for, madame," retorted Kidd."Sir Walter intended this as a little surprise for you, that is all.The arrangements were all placed in his hands, and it was he who bound us all to secrecy.None of the ladies were to be informed of it.""It does not sound altogether plausible," interposed Portia."If you ladies do not object, I should like to cross-examine this--ah--gentleman."
Kidd paled visibly.He was not prepared for any such trial; however, he put as good a face on the matter as he could, and announced his willingness to answer any questions that he might be asked.
"Shall we put him under oath?" asked Cleopatra.
"As you please, ladies," said the pirate."A pirate's word is as good as his bond; but I'll take an oath if you choose--a half-dozen of 'em, if need be.""I fancy we can get along without that," said Portia."Now, Captain Kidd, who first proposed this plan?""Socrates," said Kidd, unblushingly with a sly glance at Xanthippe.
"What?" cried Xanthippe."My husband propose anything that would contribute to my pleasure or intellectual advancement? Bah! Your story is transparently false at the outset.""Nevertheless," said Kidd, "the scheme was proposed by Socrates.He said a trip of that kind for Xanthippe would be very restful and health-giving.""For me?" cried Xanthippe, sceptically.
"No, madame, for him," retorted Kidd.
"Ah--ho-ho! That's the way of it, eh?" said Xanthippe, flushing to the roots of her hair."Very likely.You--ah--you will excuse my doubting your word, Captain Kidd, a moment since.I withdraw my remark, and in order to make fullest reparation, I beg to assure these ladies that I am now perfectly convinced that you are telling the truth.That last observation is just like my husband, and when Iget back home again, if I ever do, well--ha, ha!--we'll have a merry time, that's all.""And what was--ah--Bassanio's connection with this affair?" added Portia, hesitatingly.
"He was not informed of it," said Kidd, archly."I am not acquainted with Bassanio, my lady, but I overheard Sir Walter enjoining upon the others the absolute necessity of keeping the whole affair from Bassanio, because he was afraid he would not consent to it.