A hundred times in these days of her absence Lennan had been on the point of going down, against her orders, just to pass the house, just to feel himself within reach, to catch a glimpse of her, perhaps, from afar.If his body haunted London, his spirit had passed down on to that river where he had drifted once already, reconnoitring.A hundred times--by day in fancy, and by night in dreams--pulling himself along by the boughs, he stole down that dim backwater, till the dark yews and the white dove-cot came into view.
For he thought now only of fulfilment.She was wasting cruelly away! Why should he leave her where she was? Leave her to profane herself and all womanhood in the arms of a man she hated?
And on that day of mid-June, when he received her telegram, it was as if he had been handed the key of Paradise.
Would she--could she mean to come away with him that very night?
He would prepare for that at all events.He had so often in mind faced this crisis in his affairs, that now it only meant translating into action what had been carefully thought out.He packed, supplied himself liberally with money, and wrote a long letter to his guardian.It would hurt the old man--Gordy was over seventy now--but that could not be helped.He would not post it till he knew for certain.
After telling how it had all come about, he went on thus: "I know that to many people, and perhaps to you, Gordy, it will seem very wrong, but it does not to me, and that is the ****** truth.
Everybody has his own views on such things, I suppose; and as Iwould not--on my honour, Gordy--ever have held or wished to hold, or ever will hold in marriage or out of marriage, any woman who does not love me, so I do not think it is acting as I would resent others acting towards me, to take away from such unhappiness this lady for whom I would die at any minute.I do not mean to say that pity has anything to do with it--I thought so at first, but I know now that it is all swallowed up in the most mighty feeling I have ever had or ever shall have.I am not a bit afraid of conscience.
If God is Universal Truth, He cannot look hardly upon us for being true to ourselves.And as to people, we shall just hold up our heads; I think that they generally take you at your own valuation.
But, anyway, Society does not much matter.We shan't want those who don't want us--you may be sure.I hope he will divorce her quickly--there is nobody much to be hurt by that except you and Cis; but if he doesn't--it can't be helped.I don't think she has anything; but with my six hundred, and what I can make, even if we have to live abroad, we shall be all right for money.You have been awfully good to me always, Gordy, and I am very grieved to hurt you, and still more sorry if you think I am being ungrateful;but when one feels as I do--body and soul and spirit--there isn't any question; there wouldn't be if death itself stood in the way.
If you receive this, we shall be gone together; I will write to you from wherever we pitch our tent, and, of course, I shall write to Cicely.But will you please tell Mrs.Doone and Sylvia, and give them my love if they still care to have it.Good-bye, dear Gordy.
I believe you would have done the same, if you had been I.Always your affectionate--MARK."In all those preparations he forgot nothing, employing every minute of the few hours in a sort of methodic exaltation.The last thing before setting out he took the damp cloths off his 'bull-man.'