She went away demurely, as she had come, refusing to stay to lunch, manifestly avoiding Sylvia.Only then he realized that she must have taken alarm from the look of strain on his face, been afraid that he would send her away; only then perceived that, with her appeal to his protection, she had been binding him closer, ****** it harder for him to break away and hurt her.And the fevered aching began again--worse than ever--the moment he lost sight of her.And more than ever he felt in the grip of something beyond his power to fight against; something that, however he swerved, and backed, and broke away, would close in on him, find means to bind him again hand and foot.
In the afternoon Dromore's confidential man brought him a note.
The fellow, with his cast-down eyes, and his well-parted hair, seemed to Lennan to be saying: "Yes, sir--it is quite natural that you should take the note out of eyeshot, sir--BUT I KNOW;fortunately, there is no necessity for alarm--I am strictly confidential."And this was what the note contained:
"You promised to ride with me once--you DID promise, and you never have.Do please ride with me to-morrow; then you will get what you want for the statuette instead of being so cross with it.You can have Dad's horse--he has gone to Newmarket again, and I'm so lonely.Please--to-morrow, at half-past two--starting from here.
--NELL."
To hesitate in view of those confidential eyes was not possible; it must be 'Yes' or 'No'; and if 'No,' it would only mean that she would come in the morning instead.So he said:
"Just say 'All right!'"
"Very good, sir." Then from the door: "Mr.Dromore will be away till Saturday, sir."Now, why had the fellow said that? Curious how this desperate secret feeling of his own made him see sinister meaning in this servant, in Oliver's visit of last night--in everything.It was vile--this suspiciousness! He could feel, almost see, himself deteriorating already, with this furtive feeling in his soul.It would soon be written on his face! But what was the use of troubling? What would come, would--one way or the other.
And suddenly he remembered with a shock that it was the first of November--Sylvia's birthday! He had never before forgotten it.In the disturbance of that discovery he was very near to going and pouring out to her the whole story of his feelings.A charming birthday present, that would make! Taking his hat, instead, he dashed round to the nearest flower shop.A Frenchwoman kept it.
What had she?
What did Monsieur desire? "Des oeillets rouges? J'en ai de bien beaux ce soir."No--not those.White flowers!
"Une belle azalee?"
Yes, that would do--to be sent at once--at once!
Next door was a jeweller's.He had never really known if Sylvia cared for jewels, since one day he happened to remark that they were vulgar.And feeling that he had fallen low indeed, to be trying to atone with some miserable gewgaw for never having thought of her all day, because he had been thinking of another, he went in and bought the only ornament whose ingredients did not make his gorge rise, two small pear-shaped black pearls, one at each end of a fine platinum chain.Coming out with it, he noticed over the street, in a clear sky fast deepening to indigo, the thinnest slip of a new moon, like a bright swallow, with wings bent back, flying towards the ground.That meant--fine weather! If it could only be fine weather in his heart! And in order that the azalea might arrive first, he walked up and down the Square which he and Oliver had patrolled the night before.
When he went in, Sylvia was just placing the white azalea in the window of the drawing-room; and stealing up behind her he clasped the little necklet round her throat.She turned round and clung to him.He could feel that she was greatly moved.And remorse stirred and stirred in him that he was betraying her with his kiss.
But, even while he kissed her, he was hardening his heart.