ERNEST.[coolly.]I suppose you'll admit the rule that one umpires one's own court.
COLONEL.[Hotly.]Certainly not,in this case!
MISS BEECH.[From behind the hollow tree.]Special case!
ERNEST.[Moving chin in collar--very coolly.]Well,of course if you won't play the game!
COLONEL.[In a towering passion.]If you lose your temper like this,I 'll never play with you again.
[To LETTY,a pretty soul in a linen suit,approaching through the wall.]
Do you mean to say that ball was out,Letty?
LETTY.Of course it was,Father.
COLONEL.You say that because he's your husband.[He sits on the rustic seat.]If your mother'd been there she'd have backed me up!
LETTY.Mother wants Joy,****,about her frock.
DICK.I--I don't know where she is.
MISS BEECH.[From behind the hollow tree.]Ahem!
LETTY.What's the matter,Peachey?
MISS BEECH.Swallowed a fly.Poor creature!
ERNEST.[Returning to his point.]Why I know the ball was out,Colonel,was because it pitched in a line with that arbutus tree.
COLONEL.[Rising.]Arbutus tree![To his daughter.]Where's your mother?
LETTY.In the blue room,Father.
ERNEST.The ball was a good foot out;at the height it was coming when it passed me.
COLONEL.[Staring at him.]You're a--you're aa theorist!From where you were you could n't see the ball at all.[To LETTY.]
Where's your mother?
LETTY.[Emphatically.]In the blue room,Father!
[The COLONEL glares confusedly,and goes away towards the blue room.]
ERNEST.[In the swing,and with a smile.]Your old Dad'll never be a sportsman!
LETTY.[Indignantly.]I wish you wouldn't call Father old,Ernie!
What time's Molly coming,Peachey?
[ROSE has come from the house,and stands waiting for a chance to speak.]
ERNEST.[Breaking in.]Your old Dad's only got one fault:he can't take an impersonal view of things.
MISS BEECH.Can you find me any one who can?
ERNEST.[With a smile.]Well,Peachey!
MISS BEECH.[Ironically.]Oh!of course,there's you!
ERNEST.I don't know about that!But--
ROSE.[To LETTY,]Please,Miss,the Missis says will you and Mr.
Ernest please to move your things into Miss Peachey's room.
ERNEST.[Vexed.]Deuce of a nuisance havin'to turn out for this fellow Lever.What did Molly want to bring him for?
MISS BEECH.Course you've no personal feeling in the matter!
ROSE.[Speaking to Miss BEECH.]The Missis says you're to please move your things into the blue room,please Miss.
LETTY.Aha,Peachey!That settles you!Come on,Ernie!
[She goes towards the house.ERNEST,rising from the swing,turns to Miss BEECH,who follows.]
ERNEST.[Smiling,faintly superior.]Personal,not a bit!I only think while Molly 's out at grass,she oughtn't to--MISS BEECH.[Sharply.]Oh!do you?
[She hustles ERNEST out through the wall,but his voice is heard faintly from the distance:"I think it's jolly thin."]
ROSE.[To DICK.]The Missis says you're to take all your worms and things,Sir,and put them where they won't be seen.
DICK.[Shortly.]Have n't got any!
ROSE.The Missis says she'll be very angry if you don't put your worms away;and would you come and help kill earwigs in the blue--?
DICK.Hang![He goes,and ROSE is left alone.]
ROSE.[Looking straight before her.]Please,Miss Joy,the Missis says will you go to her about your frock.
[There is a little pause,then from the hollow tree joy's voice is heard.]
JOY.No-o!
ROSE.If you did n't come,I was to tell you she was going to put you in the blue.
[Joy looks out of the tree.]
[Immovable,but smiling.]
Oh,Miss joy,you've done your hair up![Joy retires into the tree.]
Please,Miss,what shall I tell the Missis?
JOY.[Joy's voice is heard.]Anything you like.
ROSE.[Over her shoulder.]I shall be drove to tell her a story,Miss.
JOY.All right!Tell it.
[ROSE goes away,and JOY comes out.She sits on the rustic seat and waits.DICK,coming softly from the house,approaches her.]
DICK.[Looking at her intently.]Joy!I wanted to say something [Joy does not look at him,but twists her fingers.]
I shan't see you again you know after to-morrow till I come up for the 'Varsity match.
JOY.[Smiling.]But that's next week.
DICK.Must you go home to-morrow?
[Joy nods three times.]
[Coming closer.]
I shall miss you so awfully.You don't know how I--[Joy shakes her head.]
Do look at me![JOY steals a look.]Oh!Joy!
[Again joy shakes her head.]
JOY.[Suddenly.]Don't!
DICK.[Seizing her hand.]Oh,Joy!Can't you--JOY.[Drawing the hand away.]Oh!don't.
DICK.[Bending his head.]It's--it's--so--JOY.[Quietly.]Don't,****!
DICK.But I can't help it!It's too much for me,Joy,I must tell you--[MRS.GWYN is seen approaching towards the house.]
JOY.[Spinning round.]It's Mother--oh,Mother!
[She rushes at her.]
[MRS.GWYN is a handsome creature of thirty-six,dressed in a muslin frock.She twists her daughter round,and kisses her.]
MRS.GWYN.How sweet you look with your hair up,Joy!Who 's this?
[Glancing with a smile at DICK.]
JOY.**** Merton--in my letters you know.
[She looks at DICK as though she wished him gone.]
MRS.GWYN.How do you do?
DICK.[Shaking hands.]How d 'you do?I think if you'll excuse me --I'll go in.
[He goes uncertainly.
MRS.GWYN.What's the matter with him?
JOY.Oh,nothing![Hugging her.]Mother!You do look such a duck.
Why did you come by the towing-path,was n't it cooking?
MRS.GWYN.[Avoiding her eyes.]Mr.Lever wanted to go into Mr.
Henty's.
[Her manner is rather artificially composed.]
JOY.[Dully.]Oh!Is he-is he really coming here,Mother?
MRS.GWYN.[Whose voice has hardened just a little.]If Aunt Nell's got a room for him--of course--why not?
JOY.[Digging her chin into her mother's shoulder.]
[Why couldn't he choose some day when we'd gone?I wanted you all to myself.]
MRS.GWYN.You are a quaint child--when I was your age--JOY.[Suddenly looking up.]Oh!Mother,you must have been a chook!
MRS.GWYN.Well,I was about twice as old as you,I know that.
JOY.Had you any--any other offers before you were married,Mother?
MRS.GWYN.[Smilingly.]Heaps!
JOY.[Reflectively.]Oh!