书城公版Idle Ideas in 1905
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第17章 ARE EARLY MARRIAGES A MISTAKE?(3)

"Never mind,old girl,"says Tommy Swallow,after the first big cry is over,to Jenny Swallow,"let's try again."And half an hour later,full of fresh plans,they are choosing another likely site,chattering cheerfully once more.I watched the building of a particular nest for nearly a fortnight one year;and when,after two or three days'absence,I returned and found a pair of sparrows comfortably encsonced therein,I just felt mad.I saw Mrs.Sparrow looking out.Maybe my anger was working upon my imagination,but it seemed to me that she nodded to me:

"Nice little house,ain't it?What I call well built."Mr.Sparrow then flew up with a gaudy feather,dyed blue,which belonged to me.I recognised it.It had come out of the brush with which the girl breaks the china ornaments in our drawing-room.At any other time I should have been glad to see him flying off with the whole thing,handle included.But now I felt the theft of that one feather as an added injury.Mrs.Sparrow chirped with delight at sight of the gaudy monstrosity.Having got the house cheap,they were going to spend their small amount of energy upon internal decoration.That was their idea clearly,a "Liberty interior."She looked more like a Cockney sparrow than a country one--had been born and bred in Regent Street,no doubt.

"There is not much justice in this world,"said I to myself;"but there's going to be some introduced into this business--that is,if Ican find a ladder."

I did find a ladder,and fortunately it was long enough.Mr.and Mrs.Sparrow were out when I arrived,possibly on the hunt for cheap photo frames and Japanese fans.I did not want to make a mess.Iremoved the house neatly into a dust-pan,and wiped the street clear of every trace of it.I had just put back the ladder when Mrs.

Sparrow returned with a piece of pink cotton-wool in her mouth.That was her idea of a colour scheme:apple-blossom pink and Reckitt's blue side by side.She dropped her wool and sat on the waterspout,and tried to understand things.

"Number one,number two,number four;where the blazes"--sparrows are essentially common,and the women are as bad as the men--"is number three?"Mr.Sparrow came up from behind,over the roof.He was carrying a piece of yellow-fluff,part of a lamp-shade,as far as I could judge.

"Move yourself,"he said,"what's the sense of sitting there in the rain?""I went out just for a moment,"replied Mrs.Sparrow;"I could not have been gone,no,not a couple of minutes.When I came back--""Oh,get indoors,"said Mr.Sparrow,"talk about it there.""It's what I'm telling you,"continued Mrs.Sparrow,"if you would only listen.There isn't any door,there isn't any house--""Isn't any--"Mr.Sparrow,holding on to the rim of the spout,turned himself topsy-turvy and surveyed the street.From where I was standing behind the laurel bushes I could see nothing but his back.

He stood up again,looking angry and flushed.

"What have you done with the house?Can't I turn my back a minute--""I ain't done nothing with it.As I keep on telling you,I had only just gone--""Oh,bother where you had gone.Where's the darned house gone?

That's what I want to know."

They looked at one another.If ever astonishment was expressed in the attitude of a bird it was told by the tails of those two sparrows.They whispered wickedly together.The idea occurred to them that by force or cunning they might perhaps obtain possession of one of the other nests.But all the other nests were occupied,and even gentle Jenny Swallow,once in her own home with the children round about her,is not to be trifled with.Mr.Sparrow called at number two,put his head in at the door,and then returned to the waterspout.

"Lady says we don't live there,"he explained to Mrs.Sparrow.There was silence for a while.

"Not what I call a classy street,"commented Mrs.Sparrow.

"If it were not for that terrible tired feeling of mine,"said Mr.

Sparrow,"blame if I wouldn't build a house of my own.""Perhaps,"said Mrs.Sparrow,"--I have heard it said that a little bit of work,now and then,does you good.""All sorts of wild ideas about in the air nowadays,"said Mr.

Sparrow,"it don't do to listen to everybody.""And it don't do to sit still and do nothing neither,"snapped Mrs.

Sparrow."I don't want to have to forget I'm a lady,but--well,any man who was a man would see things for himself.""Why did I every marry?"retorted Mr.Sparrow.

They flew away together,quarrelling.