"Her forehead!"It was always "low and broad."I don't know why it was always low.Maybe because the intellectual heroine was not then popular.For the matter of that I doubt if she be really popular now.The brainless doll,one fears,will continue for many years to come to be man's ideal woman--and woman's ideal of herself for precisely the same period,one may be sure.
"Her chin!"A less degree of variety was permissible in her chin.
It had to be at an angle suggestive of piquancy,and it had to contain at least the suspicion of a dimple.
To properly understand her complexion you were expected to provide yourself with a collection of assorted fruits and flowers.There are seasons in the year when it must have been difficult for the conscientious reader to have made sure of her complexion.Possibly it was for this purpose that wax flowers and fruit,carefully kept from the dust under glass cases,were common objects in former times upon the tables of the cultured.
Nowadays we content ourselves--and our readers also,I am inclined to think--with dashing her off in a few bold strokes.We say that whenever she entered a room there came to one dreams of an old world garden,the sound of far-off bells.Or that her presence brought with it the scent of hollyhocks and thyme.As a matter of fact Idon't think hollyhocks do smell.It is a small point;about such we do not trouble ourselves.In the case of the homely type of girl Idon't see why we should not borrow Mr.Pickwick's expression,and define her by saying that in some subtle way she always contrived to suggest an odour of chops and tomato sauce.
If we desire to be exact we mention,as this particular author seems to have done,that she had an "elusive expression,"or a penetrating fragrance.Or we say that she moved,the centre of an indefinable nuance.
But it is not policy to bind oneself too closely to detail.A wise friend of mine,who knows his business,describes his hero invariably in the vaguest terms.He will not even tell you whether the man is tall or short,clean shaven or bearded.
"Make the fellow nice,"is his advice."Let every woman reader picture him to herself as her particular man.Then everything he says and does becomes of importance to her.She is careful not to miss a word."For the same reason he sees to it that his heroine has a bit of every girl in her.Generally speaking,she is a cross between Romola and Dora Copperfield.His novels command enormous sales.The women say he draws a man to the life,but does not seem to know much about women.The men like his women,but think his men stupid.
Of another famous author no woman of my acquaintance is able to speak too highly.They tell me his knowledge of their *** is simply marvellous,his insight,his understanding of them almost uncanny.
Thinking it might prove useful,I made an exhaustive study of his books.I noticed that his women were without exception brilliant charming creatures possessed of the wit of a Lady Wortlay Montagu,combined with the wisdom of a George Eliot.They were not all of them good women,but all of them were clever and all of them were fascinating.I came to the conclusion that his lady critics were correct:he did understand women.But to return to our synopsis.
The second chapter,it appeared,transported us to Yorkshire where:
"Basil Longleat,a typical young Englishman,lately home from college,resides with his widowed mother and two sisters.They are a delightful family."What a world of trouble to both writer and to reader is here saved.
"A typical young Englishman!"The author probably wrote five pages,elaborating.The five words of the sub-editor present him to me more vividly.I see him positively glistening from the effects of soap and water.I see his clear blue eye;his fair crisp locks,the natural curliness of which annoys him personally,though alluring to everybody else;his frank winning smile.He is "lately home from college."That tells me that he is a first-class cricketer;a first-class oar;that as a half-back he is incomparable;that he swims like Captain Webb;is in the first rank of tennis players;that his half-volley at ping-pong has never been stopped.It doesn't tell me much about his brain power.The deion of him as a "typical young Englishman"suggests more information on this particular point.One assumes that the American girl with the elusive expression is going to have sufficient for both.