书城公版Idle Ideas in 1905
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第42章 HOW MANY CHARMS HATH MUSIC,WOULD YOU SAY?(2)

When the proper time comes,and if he is where you expect to find him while thinking of your upper C,you will hit him lightly on the shoulder with your sword,and then he can die to his own particular tune.If you have been severely wounded in battle,or in any other sort of row,and have got to sing a long ballad before you finally expire,you don't want to have to think how a man would really behave who knew he had only got a few minutes to live and was feeling bad about it.The chances are that he would not want to sing at all.

The woman who really loved him would not encourage him to sing.She would want him to keep quiet while she moved herself about a bit,in case there was anything that could be done for him.

If a mob is climbing the stairs thirsting for your blood,you do not want to stand upright with your arms stretched out,a good eighteen inches from the door,while you go over at some length the varied incidents leading up to the annoyance.If your desire were to act naturally you would push against that door for all you were worth,and yell for somebody to bring you a chest of drawers and a bedstead,and things like that,to pile up against it.If you were a king,and were giving a party,you would not want your guests to fix you up at the other end of the room and leave you there,with nobody to talk to but your own wife,while they turned their backs upon you,and had a long and complicated dance all to themselves.You would want to be in it;you would want to let them know that you were king.

In acting,all these little points have to be considered.In opera,everything is rightly sacrificed to musical necessity.I have seen the young,enthusiastic opera-singer who thought that he or she could act and sing at the same time.The experienced artist takes the centre of the stage and husbands his resources.Whether he is supposed to be indignant because somebody has killed his mother,or cheerful because he is going out to fight his country's foes,who are only waiting until he has finished singing to attack the town,he leaves it to the composer to make clear.

Also it was Herr Wagner's idea that the back cloth would leave the opera-goer indifferent to the picture gallery.The castle on the rock,accessible only by balloon,in which every window lights up simultaneously and instantaneously,one minute after sunset,while the full moon is rushing up the sky at the pace of a champion comet--that wonderful sea that suddenly opens and swallows up the ship--those snow-clad mountains,over which the shadow of the hero passes like a threatening cloud--the grand old chateau,trembling in the wind--what need,will ask the opera-goer of the future,of your Turners and your Corots,when,for prices ranging from a shilling upwards,we can have a dozen pictures such as these rolled up and down before us every evening?

But perhaps the most daring hope of all was the dream that came to Herr Wagner that his opera singers,his grouped choruses,would eventually satisfy the craving of the public for high class statuary.

I am not quite sure the general public does care for statuary.I do not know whether the idea has ever occurred to the Anarchist,but,were I myself organising secret committee meetings for unholy purposes,I should invite my comrades to meet in that section of the local museum devoted to statuary.I can conceive of no place where we should be freer from prying eyes and listening ears.A select few,however,do appreciate statuary;and such,I am inclined to think,will not be weaned from their passion by the contemplation of the opera singer in his or her various quaint costumes.

And even if the tenor always satisfied our ideal of Apollo,and the soprano were always as sylph-like as she is described in the libretto,even then I should doubt the average operatic chorus being regarded by the connoisseur as a cheap and pleasant substitute for a bas relief from the Elgin marbles.The great thing required of that operatic chorus is experience.The young and giddy-pated the chorus master has no use for.The sober,honest,industrious lady or gentleman,with a knowledge of music is very properly his ideal.

What I admire about the chorus chiefly is its unity.The whole village dresses exactly alike.In wicked,worldly villages there is rivalry,leading to heartburn and jealously.One lady comes out suddenly,on,say,a Bank Holiday,in a fetching blue that conquers every male heart.Next holiday her rival cuts her out with a green hat.In the operatic village it must be that the girls gather together beforehand to arrange this thing.There is probably a meeting called.

"The dear Count's wedding,"announces the chairwoman,"you will all be pleased to hear,has been fixed for the fourteenth,at eleven o'clock in the morning.The entire village will be assembled at ten-thirty to await the return of the bridal cortege from the church,and offer its felicitations.Married ladies,will,of course,come accompanied by their husbands.Unmarried ladies must each bring a male partner as near their own height as possible.Fortunately,in this village the number of males is exactly equal to that of females,so that the picture need not be spoiled.The children will organise themselves into an independent body and will group themselves picturesquely.It has been thought advisable,"continues the chairwoman,"that the village should meet the dear Count and his bride at some spot not too far removed from the local alehouse.The costume to be worn by the ladies will consist of a short pink skirt terminating at the knees and ornamented with festoons of flowers;above will be worn a bolero in mauve silk without sleeves and cut decollete.The shoes should be of yellow satin over flesh-coloured stockings.Ladies who are 'out'will wear pearl necklaces,and a ****** device in emeralds to decorate the hair.Thank God,we can all of us afford it,and provided the weather holds up and nothing unexpected happens--he is not what I call a lucky man,our Count,and it is always as well to be prepared for possibilities--well,I think we may look forward to a really pleasant day."It cannot be done,Herr Wagner,believe me.You cannot substitute the music drama for all the arts combined.The object to be aimed at by the wise composer should be to make us,while listening to his music,forgetful of all remaining artistic considerations.