Some time after this,falling into ill-health,he was sent at great expense to a more favourable climate;and then I think his perplexities were thickest.When he thought of all the other young men of singular promise,upright,good,the prop of families,who must remain at home to die,and with all their possibilities be lost to life and mankind;and how he,by one more unmerited favour,was chosen out from all these others to survive;he felt as if there were no life,no labour,no devotion of soul and body,that could repay and justify these partialities.A religious lady,to whom he communicated these reflections,could see no force in them whatever.'It was God's will,'said she.But he knew it was by God's will that Joan of Arc was burnt at Rouen,which cleared neither Bedford nor Bishop Cauchon;and again,by God's will that Christ was crucified outside Jerusalem,which excused neither the rancour of the priests nor the timidity of Pilate.He knew,moreover,that although the possibility of this favour he was now enjoying issued from his circumstances,its acceptance was the act of his own will;and he had accepted it greedily,longing for rest and sunshine.And hence this allegation of God's providence did little to relieve his scruples.I promise you he had a very troubled mind.And I would not laugh if I were you,though while he was thus ****** mountains out of what you think molehills,he were still (as perhaps he was)contentedly practising many other things that to you seem black as hell.
Every man is his own judge and mountain-guide through life.
There is an old story of a mote and a beam,apparently not true,but worthy perhaps of some consideration.I should,if I were you,give some consideration to these scruples of his,and if I were he,I should do the like by yours;for it is not unlikely that there may be something under both.In the meantime you must hear how my friend acted.Like many invalids,he supposed that he would die.Now,should he die,he saw no means of repaying this huge loan which,by the hands of his father,mankind had advanced him for his sickness.In that case it would be lost money.So he determined that the advance should be as small as possible;and,so long as he continued to doubt his recovery,lived in an upper room,and grudged himself all but necessaries.But so soon as he began to perceive a change for the better,he felt justified in spending more freely,to speed and brighten his return to health,and trusted in the future to lend a help to mankind,as mankind,out of its treasury,had lent a help to him.
I do not say but that my friend was a little too curious and partial in his view;nor thought too much of himself and too little of his parents;but I do say that here are some scruples which tormented my friend in his youth,and still,perhaps,at odd times give him a prick in the midst of his enjoyments,and which after all have some foundation in justice,and point,in their confused way,to some more honourable honesty within the reach of man.And at least,is not this an unusual gloss upon the eighth commandment?And what sort of comfort,guidance,or illumination did that precept afford my friend throughout these contentions?'Thou shalt not steal.'With all my heart!But AM I stealing?
The truly quaint materialism of our view of life disables us from pursuing any transaction to an end.You can make no one understand that his bargain is anything more than a bargain,whereas in point of fact it is a link in the policy of mankind,and either a good or an evil to the world.We have a sort of blindness which prevents us from seeing anything but sovereigns.If one man agrees to give another so many shillings for so many hours'work,and then wilfully gives him a certain proportion of the price in bad money and only the remainder in good,we can see with half an eye that this man is a thief.But if the other spends a certain proportion of the hours in smoking a pipe of tobacco,and a certain other proportion in looking at the sky,or the clock,or trying to recall an air,or in meditation on his own past adventures,and only the remainder in downright work such as he is paid to do,is he,because the theft is one of time and not of money,-is he any the less a thief?The one gave a bad shilling,the other an imperfect hour;but both broke the bargain,and each is a thief.In piecework,which is what most of us do,the case is none the less plain for being even less material.If you forge a bad knife,you have wasted some of mankind's iron,and then,with unrivalled cynicism,you pocket some of mankind's money for your trouble.Is there any man so blind who cannot see that this is theft?
Again,if you carelessly cultivate a farm,you have been playing fast and loose with mankind's resources against hunger;there will be less bread in consequence,and for lack of that bread somebody will die next winter:a grim consideration.And you must not hope to shuffle out of blame because you got less money for your less quantity of bread;for although a theft be partly punished,it is none the less a theft for that.You took the farm against competitors;there were others ready to shoulder the responsibility and be answerable for the tale of loaves;but it was you who took it.By the act you came under a tacit bargain with mankind to cultivate that farm with your best endeavour;you were under no superintendence,you were on parole;and you have broke your bargain,and to all who look closely,and yourself among the rest if you have moral eyesight,you are a thief.
Or take the case of men of letters.Every piece of work which is not as good as you can make it,which you have palmed off imperfect,meagrely thought,niggardly in execution,upon mankind who is your paymaster on parole and in a sense your pupil,every hasty or slovenly or untrue performance,should rise up against you in the court of your own heart and condemn you for a thief.Have you a salary?