Roch. We read Latin and Greek together.
Tin. Dropping them -
As, now that you're a lord, of course you've done -Drop him--You'll say his lordship's not at home.
Will. So please your lordship, I forgot to say, One Richard Cricket likewise is below.
Tin. Who?--Richard Cricket! You must see him, Rochdale!
A noble little fellow! A great man, sir!
Not knowing whom, you would be nobody!
I won five thousand pounds by him!
Roch. Who is he?
I never heard of him.
Tin. What! never heard Of Richard Cricket!--never heard of him!
Why, he's the jockey of Newmarket; you May win a cup by him, or else a sweepstakes.
I bade him call upon you. You must see him.
His lordship is at home to Richard Cricket.
Roch. Bid him wait in the ante-room.
[WILLIAMS goes out.]
Tin. The ante-room!
The best room in your house! You do not know The use of Richard Cricket! Show him, sir, Into the drawing-room. Your lordship needs Must keep a racing stud, and you'll do well To make a friend of Richard Cricket. Well, sir:
What's that?
[Enter WILLIAMS.]
Will. So please your lordship, a petition.
Tin. Hadst not a service 'mongst the Hottentots Ere thou camest hither, friend? Present thy lord With a petition! At mechanics' doors, At tradesmen's, shopkeepers', and merchants' only, Have such things leave to knock! Make thy lord's gate A wicket to a workhouse! Let us see it -Subscriptions to a book of poetry!
Cornelius Tense, M.A.
Which means he construes Greek and Latin, works Problems in mathematics, can chop logic, And is a conjurer in philosophy, Both natural and moral.--Pshaw! a man Whom nobody, that is anybody, knows!
Who, think you, follows him? Why, an M.D., An F.R.S., an F.AS., and then A D.D., Doctor of Divinity, Ushering in an LL.D., which means Doctor of Laws--their harmony, no doubt, The difference of their trades! There's nothing here But languages, and sciences, and arts.
Not an iota of nobility!
We cannot give our names. Take back the paper, And tell the bearer there's no answer for him:-That is the lordly way of saying "No."
But, talking of subscriptions, here is one To which your lordship may affix your name.
Roch. Pray, who's the object?
Tin. A most worthy man!
A man of singular deserts; a man In serving whom your lordship will serve me, -Signor Cantata.
Roch. He's a friend of yours?
Tin. Oh, no, I know him not! I've not that pleasure.
But Lady Dangle knows him; she's his friend, He will oblige us with a set of concerts, Six concerts to the set.--The set, three guineas.
Your lordship will subscribe?
Roch. Oh, by all means.
Tin. How many sets of tickets? Two at least.
You'll like to take a friend? I'll set you down Six guineas to Signor Cantata's concerts, And now, my Lord, we'll to him; then we'll walk.
Roch. Nay, I would wait the lady's answer.
Tin. Wait! take an excursion to the country; let Her answer wait for you!
Roch. Indeed!
Tin. Indeed!
Befits a lord nought like indifference.
Say an estate should fall to you, you'd take it As it concerned more a stander by Than you. As you're a lord, be sure you ever Of that make little other men make much of;Nor do the thing they do, but the right contrary.
Where the distinction else 'twixt them and you?
[They go out.]