I am a kind of farthing dip, Unfriendly to the nose and eyes;
A blue-behinded ape, I skip Upon the trees of Paradise.
At mankind's feast, I take my place In solemn, sanctimonious state, And have the air of saying grace While I defile the dinner plate.
I am "the smiler with the knife,"
The battener upon garbage, I -
Dear Heaven, with such a rancid life, Were it not better far to die?
Yet still, about the human pale, I love to scamper, love to race, To swing by my irreverent tail All over the most holy place;
And when at length, some golden day, The unfailing sportsman, aiming at, Shall bag, me - all the world shall say: