Furthermore,it keeps him from home,while I have to stay at home and be entertained by my sons,whom the Encyclopaedia Britannica rightly calls dull and fatuous.In other words,club life for him,and dulness and fatuity for me.""I think myself they're rather queer about letting women into that boat,"said Queen Elizabeth."But it isn't Sir Walter's fault.He told me he tried to have them establish a Ladies'Day,and that they agreed to do so,but have since resisted all his efforts to have a date set for the function.""It would be great fun to steal in there now,wouldn't it,"giggled Ophelia."There doesn't seem to be anybody about to prevent our doing so.""That's true,"said Xanthippe."All the windows are closed,as if there wasn't a soul there.I've half a mind to take a peep in at the house.""I am with you,"said Elizabeth,her face lighting up with pleasure.
It was a great novelty,and an unpleasant one to her,to find some place where she could not go."Let's do it,"she added.
So the three women tiptoed softly up the gang-plank,and,silently boarding the house-boat,peeped in at the windows.What they saw merely whetted their curiosity.
"I must see more,"cried Elizabeth,rushing around to the door,which opened at her touch.Xanthippe and Ophelia followed close on her heels,and shortly they found themselves,open-mouthed in wondering admiration,in the billiard-room of the floating palace,and Richard,the ghost of the best billiard-room attendant in or out of Hades,stood before them.
"Excuse me,"he said,very much upset by the sudden apparition of the ladies."I'm very sorry,but ladies are not admitted here.""We are equally sorry,"retorted Elizabeth,assuming her most imperious manner,"that your masters have seen fit to prohibit our being here;but,now that we are here,we intend to make the most of the opportunity,particularly as there seem to be no members about.
What has become of them all?"
Richard smiled broadly."I don't know where they are,"he replied;but it was evident that he was not telling the exact truth.
"Oh,come,my boy,"said the Queen,kindly,"you do know.Sir Walter told me you knew everything.Where are they?""Well,if you must know,ma'am,"returned Richard,captivated by the Queen's manner,"they've all gone down the river to see a prize-fight between Goliath and Samson.""See there!"cried Xanthippe."That's what this club makes possible.
Socrates told me he was coming here to take luncheon with Carlyle,and they've both of 'em gone off to a disgusting prize-fight!""Yes,ma'am,they have,"said Richard;"and if Goliath wins,I don't think Mr.Socrates will get home this evening.""Betting,eh?"said Xanthippe,scornfully.
"Yes,ma'am,"returned Richard.
"More club!"cried Xanthippe.
"Oh no,ma'am,"said Richard."Betting is not allowed in the club;they're very strict about that.But the shore is only ten feet off,ma'am,and the gentlemen always go ashore and make their bets."During this little colloquy Elizabeth and Ophelia were wandering about,admiring everything they saw.
"I do wish Lucretia Borgia and Calpurnia could see this.I wonder if the Caesars are on the telephone,"Elizabeth said.Investigation showed that both the Borgias and the Caesars were on the wire,and in short order the two ladies had been made acquainted with the state of affairs at the house-boat;and as they were both quite as anxious to see the interior of the much-talked-of club-house as the others,they were not long in arriving.Furthermore,they brought with them half a dozen more ladies,among whom were Desdemona and Cleopatra,and then began the most extraordinary session the house-boat ever knew.
A meeting was called,with Elizabeth in the chair,and all the best ladies of the Stygian realms were elected members.Xanthippe,amid the greatest applause,moved that every male member of the organization be expelled for conduct unworthy of a gentleman in attending a prize-fight,and encouraging two such horrible creatures as Goliath and Samson in their nefarious pursuits.Desdemona seconded the motion,and it was carried without a dissenting voice,although Mrs.Caesar,with becoming dignity,merely smiled approval,not caring to take part too actively in the proceedings.