I hardly ventured to hope that the messenger who brings us our letters from the village--the postman, as we call him--would make his appearance this morning; but he came bravely through rain, hail and wind.The old pony which he usually rides had refused to face the storm, and, sooner than disappoint us, our faithful postman had boldly started for The Glen Tower on foot.All his early life had been passed on board ship, and, at sixty years of age, he had battled his way that morning through the storm on shore as steadily and as resolutely as ever he had battled it in his youth through the storm at sea.
I opened the post-bag eagerly.There were two letters for Jessie from young lady friends; a letter for Owen from a charitable society; a letter to me upon business; and--on this last day, of all others--no newspaper!
I sent directly to the kitchen (where the drenched and weary postman was receiving the hospitable attentions of the servants)to make inquiries.The disheartening answer returned was that the newspaper could not have arrived as usual by the morning's post, or it must have been put into the bag along with the letters.No such accident as this had occurred, except on one former occasion, since the beginning of the year.And now, on the very day when I might have looked confidently for news of George's ship, when the state of the weather made the finding of that news of the last importance to my peace of mind, the paper, by some inconceivable fatality, had failed to reach me! If there had been the slightest chance of borrowing a copy in the village, I should have gone there myself through the tempest to get it.If there had been the faintest possibility of communicating, in that frightful weather, with the distant county town, I should have sent there or gone there myself.I even went the length of speaking to the groom, an old servant whom I knew I could trust.
The man stared at me in astonishment, and then pointed through the window to the blinding hail and the writhing trees.
"No horse that ever was foaled, sir," he said, "would face _that_for long.It's a'most a miracle that the postman got here alive.
He says himself that he dursn't go back again.I'll try it, sir, if you order me; but if an accident happens, please to remember, whatever becomes of _me,_ that I warned you beforehand."It was only too plain that the servant was right, and I dismissed him.What I suffered from that one accident of the missing newspaper I am ashamed to tell.No educated man can conceive how little his acquired mental advantages will avail him against his natural human inheritance of superstition, under certain circumstances of fear and suspense, until he has passed the ordeal in his own proper person.We most of us soon arrive at a knowledge of the extent of our strength, but we may pass a lifetime and be still ignorant of the extent of our weakness.
Up to this time I had preserved self-control enough to hide the real state of my feelings from our guest; but the arrival of the tenth day, and the unexpected trial it had brought with it, found me at the end of my resources.Jessie's acute observation soon showed her that something had gone wrong, and she questioned me on the subject directly.My mind was in such a state of confusion that no excuse occurred to me.I left her precipitately, and entreated Owen and Morgan to keep her in their company, and out of mine, for the rest of the day.My strength to preserve my son's secret had failed me, and my only chance of resisting the betrayal of it lay in the childish resource of keeping out of the way.I shut myself into my room till I could bear it no longer.Iwatched my opportunity, and paid stolen visits over and over again to the barometer in the hall.I mounted to Morgan's rooms at the top of the tower, and looked out hopelessly through rain-mist and scud for signs of a carriage on the flooded valley-road below us.I stole down again to the servants' hall, and questioned the old postman (half-tipsy by this time with restorative mulled ale) about his past experience of storms at sea; drew him into telling long, rambling, wearisome stories, not one-tenth part of which I heard; and left him with my nervous irritability increased tenfold by his useless attempts to interest and inform me.Hour by hour, all through that miserable day, I opened doors and windows to feel for myself the capricious changes of the storm from worse to better, and from better to worse again.Now I sent once more for the groom, when it looked lighter; and now I followed him hurriedly to the stables, to countermand my own rash orders.My thoughts seemed to drive over my mind as the rain drove over the earth; the confusion within me was the image in little of the mightier turmoil that raged outside.
Before we assembled at the dinner-table, Owen whispered to me that he had made my excuses to our guest, and that I need dread nothing more than a few friendly inquiries about my health when Isaw her again.The meal was dispatched hastily and quietly.
Toward dusk the storm began to lessen, and for a moment the idea of sending to the town occurred to me once more.But, now that the obstacle of weather had been removed, the obstacle of darkness was set up in its place.I felt this; I felt that a few more hours would decide the doubt about George, so far as this last day was concerned, and I determined to wait a little longer, having already waited so long.My resolution was the more speedily taken in this matter, as I had now made up my mind, in sheer despair, to tell my son's secret to Jessie if he failed to return before she left us.My reason warned me that I should put myself and my guest in a false position by taking this step, but something stronger than my reason forbade me to let her go back to the gay world and its temptations without first speaking to her of George in the lamentable event of George not being present to speak for himself.