书城公版The Burning Spear
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第40章

Either the U.P.would go beyond the limits of the Law--and then I'd jump on it, suppress its papers, and clap it into quod--or it'd take it lyin'

down.Whichever 'appened it'd be all up with the U.P.I'd a broke its chain off my neck for good.But I ain't the Gover'ment, an Gover'ment's got tender feet.I ask you, sir, wot's the good of havin' a Constitooshion, and a the bother of electing these fellows, if they can't act according to their judgment for the short term of their natural lives? The U.P.may be patriotic and estimable, and 'ave the best intentions and all that, but its outside the Constitooshion; and what's more, I'm not goin' to spend my last blood an' my last money in a democratic country to suit the tastes of any single man, or triumpherate, or wotever it may be made of.If the Government's uncertain wot the country wants they can always ask it in the proper way, but they never ought to take it on 'earsay from the papers.That's wot I think."While he was speaking Mr.Lavender had become excited to the point of fever, for, without intending it, Joe had laid bare to him a yawning chasm between his worship of public men and his devotion to the Press.

And no sooner had his chauffeur finished than he cried: "Leave me, Joe, for I must think this out.""Right, sir," answered Joe with his smile, and taking the tea-tray from off his master, he set it where it must infallibly be knocked over, and went out.

"Can it be possible," thought Mr.Lavender, when he was alone, "that I am serving God and Mammon? And which is God and which is Mammon?" he added, letting his thoughts play over the countless speeches and leading articles which had formed his spiritual diet since the war began."Or, indeed, are they not both God or both Mammon? If what Joe says is true, and nothing is recorded save what seems good to this Unseen Power, have Inot been listening to ghosts and shadows; and am I, indeed, myself anything but the unsubstantial image of a public man? For it is true that I have no knowledge of anything save what is recorded in the papers." And perceiving that the very basis of his faith was endangered, he threw off the bedclothes, and began to pace the room."Are we, then, all," he thought, "being bounded like india-rubber balls by an unseen hand; and is there no one of us strong enough to bounce into the eye of our bounder and overthrow him? My God, I am unhappy; for it is a terrible thing not to know which my God is, and whether I am a public man or an india-rubber ball."And the more he thought the more dreadful it seemed to him, now that he perceived that all those journals, pamphlets, and reports with which his study walls were lined might not be the truth, but merely authorized versions of it.

"This," he said aloud, "is a nightmare from which I must awaken or lose all my power of action and my ability to help my country in its peril."And sudden sweat broke out on his brow, for he perceived that he had now no means of telling even whether there was a peril, so strangely had Joe's words affected his powers of credulity.

"But surely," he thought, steadying himself by gripping his washstand, "there was, at least, a peril once.And yet, how do I know even that, for I have only been told so ; and the tellers themselves were only told so by this Unseen Power ; and suppose it has made a mistake or has some private ends to serve! Oh! it is terrible, and there is no end to it.

"And he shook the crockery in the spasms which followed the first awakenings of these religious doubts."Where, then, am I to go," he cried, "for knowledge of the truth? For even books would seem dependent on the good opinion of this Unseen Power, and would not reach my eyes unless they were well spoken of by it."And the more he thought the more it seemed to him that nothing could help him but to look into the eyes of this Unseen Power, so that he might see for himself whether it was the Angel of Truth or some Demon jumping on the earth.No sooner had this conviction entered his brain than he perceived how in carrying out such an enterprise he would not only be setting his own mind at rest, and re-establishing or abolishing his faith, but would be doing the greatest service which he could render to his country and to all public men."Thus," he thought, "shall Icannonize my tourney, and serve Aurora, who is the dawn of truth and beauty in the world.I am not yet worthy, however, of this adventure, which will, indeed, be far more arduous and distressing to accomplish than any which I have yet undertaken.What can I do to brighten and equip my mind and divest it of all those prejudices in which it may unconsciously have become steeped ? If I could 1eave e earth a short space and commune with the clouds it might be best.I will go to Hendon and see if someone will take me up for a consideration; for on earth Ican no longer be sure of anything.

And having rounded off his purpose with this lofty design, he went back to bed with his head lighter than a puff-ball.