AND ASCENDS TO PARADISE
Now when Mr.Lavender once slept over an idea it became so strong that no power on earth could prevent his putting it into execution, and all night long he kept Blink awake by tramping up and down his bedroom and planning the details of such a retirement as would meet his unfortunate case.For at once he perceived that to retire from both his lives without ****** the whole world know of it would be tantamount to not retiring."Only by a public act," he thought, "of so striking a character that nobody can miss it can I bring the moral home to all public and private men." And a hundred schemes swarmed like ants in his brain.Nor was it till the cock crew that one adequate to this final occasion occurred to him.
"It will want very careful handling," he thought, "for otherwise I shall be prevented, and perhaps even arrested in the middle, which will be both painful and ridiculous.So sublime, however, was his idea that he shed many tears over it, and often paused in his tramping to regard the unconscious Blink with streaming eyes.All the next day he went about the house and heath taking a last look at objects which had been dear, and at mealtimes ate and drank even less than usual, absorbed by the pathos of his coming renunciation.He determined to make his preparations for the final act during the night, when Mrs.Petty would be prevented by Joe's snoring from hearing the necessary sounds; and at supper he undertook the delicate and harrowing task of saying good-bye to, his devoted housekeeper without letting her know that he, was doing it.
"Mrs--Petty," he said, trifling with a morsel of cheese, "it is useless to disguise, from you that I may be going a journey, and I feel that Ishall not be able to part from all the care you have, bestowed on me without recording in words my heartfelt appreciation of your devotion.Ishall miss it, I shall miss it terribly, if, that is, I am permitted to miss anything.
Mrs.Petty, whose mind instantly ran to his bed socks, answered: "Don't you worry, sir; I won't forget them.But wherever are you going now?""Ah!" said Mr.Lavender subtly, "it is all in the air at present; but now that the lime-trees are beginning to smell a certain restlessness is upon me, and you may see some change in my proceedings.Whatever happens to me, however, I commit my dear Blink to your care; feed her as if she were myself, and love her as if she were Joe, for it is largely on food and affection that dogs depend for happiness.
"Why, good gracious, sir," said Mrs.Petty, "you talk as if you were going for a month of Sundays.Are you thinking of Eastbourne?"Mr.Lavender sighed deeply at that word, for the memory of a town where he had spent many happy days added to the gentle melancholy of his feelings on this last evening.
"As regards that I shall not inform you at present; for, indeed, I am by no means certain what my destination will be.Largely speaking, no pub--public man," he stammered, doubtful whether he was any longer that, "knows where he will be going to-morrow.Sufficient unto the day are the intentions in his head.
"Well, sir," said Mrs.Petty frankly, "you can't go anywhere without Joe or me, that's flat."Mr.Lavender smiled.
"Dear Mrs.Petty," he murmured, "there are sacrifices one cannot demand even of the most faithful friends.But," he went on with calculated playfulness, "we need not consider that point until the day after to-morrow at least, for I have much to do in the meantime."Reassured by those words and the knowledge that Mr.Lavender's plans seldom remained the same for more than two days, Mrs.Petty tossed her head slightly and went to the door."Well, it is a mystery, I'm sure,"she said.
"I should like to see Joe," said Mr.Lavender, with a lingering look at his devoted housekeeper.
"The beauty!" muttered Mrs.Petty; "I'll send him," and withdrew.
Giving the morsel of cheese to Blink, who, indeed, had eaten practically the whole of this last meal, Mr.Lavender took the moon-cat on his shoulder, and abandoned himself for a moment to the caresses of his two favourites.
"Blink," he said in a voice which trembled slightly, "be good to this moon-cat while I am away; and if I am longer than you expect, darling, do not be unhappy.Perhaps some day you will rejoin me; and even if we are not destined to meet again, I would not, in the fashion of cruel men, wish to hinder your second marriage, or to stand in the way of your happy forgetfulness of me.Be as light-hearted as you can, my dear, and wear no mourning for your master."So saying, he flung his arms round her, and embraced her warmly, inhaling with the most poignant emotion her sheep-like odour.He was still engaged with her when the door was opened, and Joe came in.
"Joe," said Mr.Lavender resolutely, "sit down and light your pipe.You will find a bottle of pre-war port in the sideboard.Open it, and, drink my health; indeed, I myself will drink it too, for it may give me courage.We have been good friends, Joe," he went on while Joe was drawing the cork," and have participated in pleasant and sharp adventures.I have called you in at this moment, which may some day seem to you rather solemn, partly to shake your hand and partly to resume the discussion on public men which we held some days ago, if you remember.""Ah!" said Joe, with his habitual insouciance, "when I told you that they give me the 'ump.
Yes, what abaht it, sir? 'Ave they been sayin' anything particular vicious?" His face flying up just then with the cork which he was extracting encountered the expression on Mr.Lavender's visage, and he added: "Don't take wot I say to 'eart, sir; try as you like you'll never be a public man."Those words, which seemed to Mr.Lavender to seal his doom, caused a faint pink flush to invade his cheeks.