He was only a quarter of an hour with the girl, but this gave him time to take the measure of it.After he had spoken to her about her bereavement, very much as an especially mild missionary might have spoken to a beautiful Polynesian, he let her know that he had learned from her companions the very strong step she was about to take.This led to their spending together ten minutes which, to her mind, threw more light on his character than anything that had ever passed between them.She had always felt with him as if she were standing on an edge, looking down into something decidedly deep.To-day the impression of the perpendicular shaft was there, but it was rather an abyss of confusion and disorder than the large bright space in which she had figured everything as ranged and pigeon-holed, presenting the appearance of the labelled shelves and drawers at a chemist's.He discussed without an invitation to discuss, he appealed without a right to appeal.He was nothing but a suitor tolerated after dismissal, but he took strangely for granted a participation in her affairs.He assumed all sorts of things that made her draw back.He implied that there was everything now to assist them in arriving at an agreement, since she had never informed him that he was positively objectionable; but that this symmetry would be spoiled if she should not be willing to take a little longer to think of certain consequences.She was greatly disconcerted when she saw what consequences he meant and at his reminding her of them.What on earth was the use of a lover if he was to speak only like one's grandmother and one's aunt? He struck her as much in love with her and as particularly careful at the same time as to what he might say.
He never mentioned her mother; he only alluded, indirectly but earnestly, to the "step." He disapproved of it altogether, took an unexpectedly prudent, politic view of it.He evidently also believed that she would be dragged down; in other words that she would not be asked out.It was his idea that her mother would contaminate her, so that he should find himself interested in a young person discredited and virtually unmarriageable.All this was more obvious to him than the consideration that a daughter should be merciful.Where was his religion if he understood mercy so little, and where were his talent and his courage if he were so miserably afraid of trumpery social penalties? Rose's heart sank when she reflected that a man supposed to be first-rate hadn't guessed that rather than not do what she could for her mother she would give up all the Engineers in the world.She became aware that she probably would have been moved to place her hand in his on the spot if he had come to her saying "Your idea is the right one; put it through at every cost." She couldn't discuss this with him, though he impressed her as having too much at stake for her to treat him with mere disdain.She sickened at the revelation that a gentleman could see so much in mere vulgarities of opinion, and though she uttered as few words as possible, conversing only in sad smiles and headshakes and in intercepted movements toward the door, she happened, in some unguarded lapse from her reticence, to use the expression that she was disappointed in him.He caught at it and, seeming to drop his field-glass, pressed upon her with nearer, tenderer eyes.
"Can I be so happy as to believe, then, that you had thought of me with some confidence, with some faith?""If you didn't suppose so, what is the sense of this visit?" Rose asked.
"One can be faithful without reciprocity," said the young man."Iregard you in a light which makes me want to protect you even if Ihave nothing to gain by it."
"Yet you speak as if you thought you might keep me for yourself.""For YOURSELF.I don't want you to suffer.""Nor to suffer yourself by my doing so," said Rose, looking down.
"Ah, if you would only marry me next month!" he broke out inconsequently.
"And give up going to mamma?" Rose waited to see if he would say "What need that matter? Can't your mother come to us?" But he said nothing of the sort; he only answered -"She surely would be sorry to interfere with the exercise of any other affection which I might have the bliss of believing that you are now free, in however small a degree, to entertain."Rose knew that her mother wouldn't be sorry at all; but she contented herself with rejoining, her hand on the door: "Good-bye.I sha'n't suffer.I'm not afraid.""You don't know how terrible, how cruel, the world can be.""Yes, I do know.I know everything!"
The declaration sprang from her lips in a tone which made him look at her as he had never looked before, as if he saw something new in her face, as if he had never yet known her.He hadn't displeased her so much but that she would like to give him that impression, and since she felt that she was doing so she lingered an instant for the purpose.It enabled her to see, further, that he turned red; then to become aware that a carriage had stopped at the door.Captain Jay's eyes, from where he stood, fell upon this arrival, and the nature of their glance made Rose step forward to look.Her mother sat there, brilliant, conspicuous, in the eternal victoria, and the footman was already sounding the knocker.It had been no part of the arrangement that she should come to fetch her; it had been out of the question--a stroke in such bad taste as would have put Rose in the wrong.The girl had never dreamed of it, but somehow, suddenly, perversely, she was glad of it now; she even hoped that her grandmother and her aunt were looking out upstairs.
"My mother has come for me.Good-bye," she repeated; but this time her visitor had got between her and the door.
"Listen to me before you go.I will give you a life's devotion," the young man pleaded.He really barred the way.
She wondered whether her grandmother had told him that if her flight were not prevented she would forfeit money.Then, vividly, it came over her that this would be what he was occupied with."I shall never think of you--let me go!" she cried, with passion.
Captain Jay opened the door, but Rose didn't see his face, and in a moment she was out of the house.Aunt Julia, who was sure to have been hovering, had taken flight before the profanity of the knock.
"Heavens, dear, where did you get your mourning?" the lady in the victoria asked of her daughter as they drove away.