"You see," said he, "I am to be imprisoned if I set my foot in Barfordshire. Well, it will be false imprisonment, and Mademoiselle Klosking's lover will smart for it. At all events, I shall take no orders but from you. You have been deceived by appearances. I shall do all I can to undeceive you, and if I cannot, there will be no need to imprison me for a deceit of which I was the victim, nor to shoot me like a dog for loving _you._ I will take my broken heart quietly away, and leave Barfordshire, and England, and the world, for aught I care."Then he cried: and that made her cry directly.
"Ah!" she sighed, "we are unfortunate. Appearances are so deceitful. Isee I have judged too hastily, and listened too little to my own heart, that always made excuses. But it is too late now.""Why too late?"
"It is."
"But why?"
"It all looked so ugly, and you were silent. We are unfortunate. My brother would never let us marry; and, besides-- Oh, why did you not come before?""I might as well say, Why did you not look out of your window? You could have done it without risking your life, as I did. Or why did you not advertise. You might have invited an explanation from 'E. S.,' under cover to so-and-so.""Ladies never think of such things. You know that very well.""Oh, I don't complain; but I do say that those who love should not be ready to reproach; they should put a generous construction. You might have known, and you ought to have known, that I was struggling to find you, and torn with anguish at my impotence.""No, no. I am so young and inexperienced, and all my friends against you.
It is they who have parted us."
"How can they part us, if you love me still as I love you?""Because for the last fortnight I have not loved you, but hated you, and doubted you, and thought my only chance of happiness was to imitate your indifference: and while I was thinking so, another person has come forward; one whom I have always esteemed: and now, in my pity and despair, I have given him hopes." She hid her burning face in her hands.
"I see; you are false to me, and therefore you have suspected me of being false to you."At that she raised her head high directly. "Edward, you are unjust. Look in my face, and you may see what I have suffered before I could bring myself to condemn you.""What! your paleness, that dark rim under your lovely eyes--am I the cause?""Indeed you are. But I forgive you. You are sadly pale and worn too. Oh, how unfortunate we are!""Do not cry, dearest," said he. "Do not despair. Be calm, and let me know the worst. I will not reproach you, though you have reproached me. I love you as no woman can love. Come, tell me.""Then the truth is, Lord Uxmoor has renewed his attention to me.""Ah!"
"He has been here every day."
Severne groaned.
"Aunt Maitland was on his side, and spoke so kindly to me, and he saved my life from a furious bull. He is brave, noble, good, and he loves me. Ihave committed myself. I cannot draw back with honor.""But from me you can, because I am poor and hated, and have no title. If you are committed to him, you are engaged to me.""I am; so now I can go neither way. If I had poison, I would take it this moment, and end all.""For God's sake, don't talk so. I am sure you exaggerate. You cannot, in those few days, have pledged your faith to another. Let me see your finger. Ah! there's my ring on it still: bless you, my own darling Zoe--bless you;" and he covered her hand with kisses, and bedewed it with his ever-ready tears.
The girl began to melt, and all power to ooze out of her, mind and body.
She sighed deeply and said, "What can I do--I don't say with honor and credit, but with decency. What _can_ I do?""Tell me, first, what you have said to him that you consider so compromising."Zoe, with many sighs, replied: "I believe--I said--I was unhappy. And so I was. And I owned--that I admired--and esteemed him. And so I do. And then of course he wanted more, and I could not give more; and he asked might he try and make me love him; and--I said--I am afraid I said--he might, if he could.""And a very proper answer, too."
"Ah! but I said he might come every day. It is idle to deceive ourselves:
I have encouraged his addresses. I can do nothing now with credit but die, or go into a convent.""When did you say this?"
"This very day."
"Then he has never acted on it."
"No, but he will. He will be here tomorrow for certain.""Then your course is plain. You must choose to-night between him and me.
You must dismiss him by letter, or me upon this spot. I have not much fortune to offer you, and no coronet; but I love you, and you have seen me reject a lovely and accomplished woman, whom I esteem as much as you do this lord. Reject him? Why, you have seen me fling her away from me like a dog sooner than leave you in a moment's doubt of my love: if you cannot write a civil note declining an earl for me, your love in not worthy of mine, and I will begone with my love. I will not take it to Mademoiselle Klosking, though I esteem her as you do this lord; but, at all events, I will take it away from you, and leave you my curse instead, for a false, fickle girl that could not wait one little month, but must fall, with her engaged ring on her finger, into another man's arms. Oh, Zoe! Zoe! who could have believed this of you?""Don't reproach _me._ I won't bear it," she cried, wildly.
"I hope not to have to reproach you," said he, firmly; "I cannot conceive your hesitating.""I am worn out. Love has been too great a torment. Oh, if I could find peace!"Again her tears flowed.
He put on a sympathizing air. "You shall have peace. Dismiss _him_ as Itell you, and he will trouble you no more; shake hands with me, and say you prefer _him,_ and I will trouble you no more. But with two lovers, peace is out of the question, and so is self-respect. I know I could not vacillate between you and Mademoiselle Klosking or any other woman.""Ah, Edward, if I do this, you ought to love me very dearly.""I shall. Better than ever--if possible.""And never make me jealous again."