They both laughed at me again,for,said they very cheerfully,"You may never live to wear these fine feathers."But Randal ****** the reflection that,if I fell,there would be none to pay the shopmaster,they both shouted with delight in the street,so that passers-by turned and marvelled at them.Clearly Isaw that to go to fight a duel is one thing,and to go and look on is another,and much more gay,for my heart had no desire of all this merriment.Rather would I have recommended my case to the saints,and chiefly to St.Andrew,for whose cause and honour I was about to put my life in jeopardy.But shame,and the fear of seeming fearful,drove me to jest with the others--such risks of dying unconfessed are run by sinful men!
Howbeit,they helped me to choose cloth of the best colour and fashion,laughing the more because I,being short of stature and slim,the tailor,if I fell,might well find none among the archers to purchase that for which,belike,I should have no need.
"We must even enlist the Pucelle in our guard,for she might wear this apparel,"quoth Randal.
Thus boisterously they bore themselves,but more gravely at the swordsmith's,where we picked out a good cut-and-thrust blade,well balanced,that came readily to my hand.Then,I with sword at side,like a gentleman,we made to the river,passing my master's booth,where I looked wistfully at the windows for a blink of Elliot,but saw none that I knew,only,from an open casement,the little jackanapes mopped and mowed at me in friendly fashion.Hard by the booth was a little pier,and we took boat,and so landed on the island,where were waiting for us my adversary and two other gentlemen.Having saluted each other,we passed to a smooth grassy spot,surrounded on all sides by tall poplar trees.Here in places daffodils were dancing in the wind;but otherwhere the sward was much trampled down,and in two or three spots were black patches that wellnigh turned my courage,for I was not yet used to the sight of men's blood,here often shed for little cause.
The friends of us twain adversaries,for enemies we could scarce be called,chose out a smooth spot with a fair light,the sun being veiled,and when we had stripped to our smocks,we drew and fell to work.He was very quick and light in his movements,bounding nimbly to this side or that,but I,using a hanging guard,in our common Scots manner,did somewhat perplex him,to whom the fashion was new.
One or two scratches we dealt each other,but,for all that,I could see we were well matched,and neither closed,as men rarely do in such a combat,till they are wroth with hurts and their blood warm.
Now I gashed his thigh,but not deeply,and with that,as I deemed,his temper fired,for he made a full sweep at my leg above the knee.
This I have always reckoned a fool's stroke,as leaving the upper part of the body unguarded,and avoiding with my right leg,I drove down with all my force at his head.But,even as I struck,came a flash and the sudden deadness of a deep wound,for he had but feinted,and then,avoiding me so that I touched him not,he drove his point into my breast.Between the force of my own blow and this stab I fell forward on my face,and thence rolled over on my back,catching at my breast with my hands,as though to stop the blood,but,in sooth,not well knowing what I did.
He had thrown down his sword,and now was kneeling by my side.
"I take you to witness,"he said,"that this has befallen to my great sorrow,and had I been where this gentleman was yesterday,and heard my cousin blaspheme,I would myself have drawn on him,but--"And here,as I later heard,he fainted from loss of blood,my sword having cut a great vein;and I likewise lost sense and knowledge.
Nor did I know more till they lifted me and laid me on a litter of poplar boughs,having stanched my wound as best they might.In the boat,as they ferried us across the river,I believe that I fainted again;and so,"between home and hell,"as the saying is,I lay on my litter and was carried along the street beside the water.Folk gathered around us as we went.I heard their voices as in a dream,when lo!there sounded a voice that I knew right well,for Elliot was asking of the people "who was hurt?"At this hearing I hove myself up on my elbow,beckoning with my other hand;and I opened my mouth to speak,but,in place of words,came only a wave of blood that sickened me,and I seemed to be dreaming,in my bed,of Elliot and her jackanapes;and then feet were trampling,and at length Iwas laid down,and so seemed to fall most blessedly asleep,with a little hand in mine,and rarely peaceful and happy in my heart,though wherefore I knew not.After many days of tossing on the waves of the world,it was as if I had been brought into the haven where I would be.Of what was passing I knew or I remember nothing.
Later I heard that a good priest had been brought to my bedside,and perchance there was made some such confession as the Church,in her mercy,accepts from sinful men in such case as mine.But I had no thought of life or death,purgatory or paradise;only,if paradise be rest among those we love,such rest for an unknown while,and such sense of blissful companionship,were mine.But whether it was well to pass through and beyond this scarce sensible joy,or whether that peace will ever again be mine and unending,I leave with humility to them in whose hands are Christian souls.