We waited some time in expectation of the next worthy,who came in with a great retinue of historians,whose names I could not learn,most of them being natives of Carthage.The person thus conducted,who was Hannibal,seemed much disturbed,and could not forbear complaining to the board of the affronts he had met with among the Roman historians,"who attempted,"says he,"to carry me into the subterraneous apartment,and perhaps would have done it,had it not been for the impartiality of this gentleman,"pointing to Polybius,"who was the only person,except my own countrymen,that was willing to conduct me hither."The Carthaginian took his seat,and Pompey entered,with great dignity in his own person,and preceded by several historians.
Lucan the poet was at the head of them,who,observing Homer and Virgil at the table,was going to sit down himself,had not the latter whispered him that whatever pretence he might otherwise have had,he forfeited his claim to it by coming in as one of the historians.Lucan was so exasperated with the repulse,that he muttered something to himself,and was heard to say that since he could not have a seat among them himself,he would bring in one who alone had more merit than their whole assembly:upon which he went to the door and brought in Cato of Utica.That great man approached the company with such an air that showed he contemned the honour which he laid a claim to.Observing the seat opposite to Caesar was vacant,he took possession of it,and spoke two or three smart sentences upon the nature of precedency,which,according to him,consisted not in place,but in intrinsic merit:to which he added,"that the most virtuous man,wherever he was seated,was always at the upper end of the table."Socrates,who had a great spirit of raillery with his wisdom,could not forbear smiling at a virtue which took so little pains to make itself agreeable.Cicero took the occasion to make a long discourse in praise of Cato,which he uttered with much vehemence.Caesar answered him with a great deal of seeming temper,but,as I stood at a great distance from them,Iwas not able to hear one word of what they said.But I could not forbear taking notice that in all the discourse which passed at the table a word or nod from Homer decided the controversy.
After a short pause Augustus appeared,looking round him,with a serene and affable countenance,upon all the writers of his age,who strove among themselves which of them should show him the greatest marks of gratitude and respect.Virgil rose from the table to meet him;and though he was an acceptable guest to all,he appeared more such to the learned than the military worthies.
The next man astonished the whole table with his appearance.He was slow,solemn,and silent in his behaviour,and wore a raiment curiously wrought with hieroglyphics.As he came into the middle of the room,he threw back the skirt of it,and discovered a golden thigh.Socrates,at the sight of it,declared against keeping company with any who were not made of flesh and blood,and,therefore,desired Diogenes the Laertian to lead him to the apartment allotted for fabulous heroes and worthies of dubious existence.At his going out he told them,"that they did not know whom they dismissed;that he was now Pythagoras,the first of philosophers,and that formerly he had been a very brave man at the Siege of Troy.""That may be true,"said Socrates,"but you forget that you have likewise been a very great harlot in your time."This exclusion made way for Archimedes,who came forward with a scheme of mathematical figures in his hand,among which I observed a cone and a cylinder.
Seeing this table full,I desired my guide,for variety,to lead me to the fabulous apartment,the roof of which was painted with Gorgons,Chimeras,and Centaurs,with many other emblematical figures,which I wanted both time and skill to unriddle.The first table was almost full.At the upper end sat Hercules,leaning an arm upon his club;on his right hand were Achilles and Ulysses,and between them AEneas;on his left were Hector,Theseus,and Jason:
the lower end had Orpheus,AEsop,Phalaris,and Musaeus.The ushers seemed at a loss for a twelfth man,when,methought,to my great joy and surprise,I heard some at the lower end of the table mention Isaac Bickerstaff;but those of the upper end received it with disdain,and said,"if they must have a British worthy,they would have Robin Hood!"While I was transported with the honour that was done me,and burning with envy against my competitor,I was awakened by the noise of the cannon which were then fired for the taking of Mons.I should have been very much troubled at being thrown out of so pleasing a vision on any other occasion;but thought it an agreeable change,to have my thoughts diverted from the greatest among the dead and fabulous heroes to the most famous among the real and the living.