书城成功励志感谢折磨你的人
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第17章 不要让教训再次重复 (3)

这是父母一个特别的、至关重要的课题。保护孩子不受伤害,这是做父母的天性。我们错误地认为,如果孩子幸福,父母就做得称职;如果孩子不幸福,那么父母就做得很失败。但是,父母给孩子的这种信号——幸福就是好,悲伤就是糟糕,降低了孩子探索全部人生阅历的能力。

孩子们需要懂得苦难、挫折、失败,这不仅仅是不可避免的,也是有益的。父母从四岁孩子的手中拿走他的智力玩具,因为“当他不能快速而准确地做好时,他就会灰心丧气”,这会给孩子造成极大的伤害。在孩子的成长过程中,他需要去感受这种经历,这有助于孩子的耐性、毅力和能力的培养,这正是他们当科学实验失败时,用艰苦的努力换来低回报时所需要的品质。经受失败和感受痛苦并不可怕;在人生的长跑中,真正的痛苦是因害怕痛苦而拒绝尝试。

假如人生没有痛苦,谁都不会关注它,我们关注痛苦,是因为它无法回避,而更多的时候,我们总是与它不期而遇,措手不及。迎战是最好的防守。如果我们学会去理解现实中的痛苦,并坦然面对它,试着去克服,那么就可以到达幸福的彼岸。这既是一种积极的生活态度,更是一种人生智慧。

profoundly [pr'fandli] adv. 深深地;深切地;深刻地;极度地

This article analyzed the world situation profoundly.

这篇文章深刻地分析了世界形势。

satisfaction [,s鎡is'f鎘n] n. 满意;欣慰;令人满意的事

She rejects the stereotype that women can only find their true

satisfaction in being mothers.

她拒绝接受这种陈词滥调,即女人只有在做母亲时才能感到真正的满足。

anguish ['鎤i] n. (尤指心理上的)极度的痛苦;剧痛;苦恼

She cried out for anguish at parting.

分手时,她由于痛苦而放声大哭。

crucial ['kru:l] adj. 决定性的;紧要关头的;至关重要的;关键性的

It is crucial to understand each other for friendship.

相互理解对于友谊是至关重要的。

死亡让生命更加珍贵,挫折让成功更加完美,而失败也让下一次的成功意义更加深刻。

孩子们需要懂得苦难、挫折、失败,这不仅仅是不可避免的,也是有益的。

在人生的长跑中,真正的痛苦是因害怕痛苦而拒绝尝试。

Looking back over my life, it seems to me that I have learned the most when I felt the greatest pain.

look back over:回顾;回想

It helps them to develop the patience, persistence and ability to cope with what they' ll need...

cope with:对付;应付

轻松精彩的生活

Just in Time, Thoroughly, with Reserve

佚名 / Anonymous

This is a wonderful way to live!

Instead of worrying ahead of time or having problems from the past accumulate, try this. Keep what you want to accomplish in the back of your mind, and as you go through life, be ready for opportunities to see to it that these things get done. Do what you do just in time, but not at the last minute, and not worrying ahead of time.

If you do what you do, thoroughly, as you grow, planning to make it last for a very long time—you' ll have more freedom and less problems in the future.

If you do what you do with reserves of everything you need (including time, tools, money, advisors, etc.), you won' t be being irresponsible, or just putting things off until the last minute. (You can plan or take note of your reserves, ahead of time, thinking about it on and off—making it easy on yourself—not having to worry or spend a long time planning.)

For example, recently I had a luncheon meeting, in a nearby city that I' m not familiar with. Formerly, I would have worried in advance, spent lots of time with maps, spending time and energy. Before that I would have gone without directions, possibly coming late, anxious and worried.

Instead, I started a bit early so I had a reserve of time (which it turned out I needed. I got there just on time). I called for directions on the way, using my cellular phone. If I couldn' t reach someone for directions or get good directions, I had in mind two places I could stop at along the way and get directions. I also had in mind a friend who knew the city, who I could call if I had to. I estimated that I had a 50% chance of reaching him if I needed him—less than reserve, more of an emergency option.

I went there and got directions just in time, with reserves of time and ways of getting directions, and my plan was a thorough one.

We had a wonderful meeting, which I was fully focused on, not having to hurry. Best of all, I didn' t worry on the way or spend time being lost. I got directions just in time, thoroughly, with reserve.

Try it, you' ll like it! With this approach you can get lots more done, with far less effort, and with greater safety and more responsibility.

这是一种精彩的生活方式!

与其为未来或过去的问题而忧心忡忡,不如试着这样去做。先将你想要完成的事置诸脑后。为在日后的生活中,为机遇作好准备,并确保这些事情能够完成。做事要及时,但并不是要拖到最后的时刻才做。而且,不要担心未来。

在你的成长过程中,做任何事情都必须长久地坚持下去,这样你的未来会更自由、更顺利。

如果你做任何事,都有必需的储备(包括时间、工具、金钱、顾问等),那么,你就是可靠之人,或者说是不会把事情放到最后一秒去做的人(你可以将你的储备、未来以及对它的思考记录下来,这使你对它了如指掌。而且,也不需要你为之担忧或花长时间去计划)。

比如说,最近在一个周围我不太熟悉的城市,我要去参加一个午餐会议。以前,我会提前担心,并花很长时间去研究地图。既浪费了时间,又消耗了精力。要不然,我就会毫无方向地乱找,还有一种可能就是迟到、不安和闷闷不乐。

后来,我提前出发了一会儿,给自己留出一些时间(最后证明,我确实需要这段时间。我准时到达了那里)。在路上,我用手机寻求指导。如果别人不能为我指引方向,或是没有好的指引,我就会在我知道的沿途的两个地方停下来询问一番。我还知道一个熟悉这个城市的朋友,在我没办法时可以给他打电话。如果我需要他的话,我估计找到他的概率有百分之五十。这不是准备,而是紧急情况下的选择。

因为有时间,并作好取得路线指导的准备,再加上及时得到了指引,我来到了目的地。我的计划太完美了!

我们的会议开得很圆满。会上我精力集中,没有一丝忧虑。最棒的是,在路上我没有焦虑,也没有浪费时间。因为有所准备,我十分及时地找到了路线。

尝试一下,你会喜欢这种方法的!用这样的方法,你就可以事半功倍,获得更大的满足感和责任心。

accumulate ['kju:mjuleit] v. 堆积;积累

True poetry accumulate meaning every time it is read.

真正的好诗每读一遍都会有新的含意。

accomplish ['kmpli] v. 完成;实现;做成功

It has never been the boast of a modest person that he alone could accomplish

such a hard task.

一个谦虚的人从来不会夸口说,只有他才能完成这样一件困难的任务。

irresponsible [,iri'spnsbl] adj. 不负责任的

So a vehicle in irresponsible hands can be a most lethal weapon.

在一个不负责任的人手中,一辆车可以变成一件杀人凶器。

estimate ['estimeit] v. 估算;估计

Astronomers can estimate the size and brightness of a star by its color.

天文学家从恒星的颜色可以估计它的大小和亮度。

与其为未来或过去的问题而忧心忡忡,不如试着这样去做。

在你的成长过程中,做任何事情都必须长久地坚持下去,这样你的未来会更自由、更顺利。

用这样的方法,你就可以事半功倍,获得更大的满足感和责任心。

If you do what you do with reserves of everything you need ,you won' t be being irresponsible.

do with:利用;处理

I would have worried in advance, spent lots of time with maps, spending time and energy.

in advance:预先;提前

青春通往未来的两条路

The Two Roads

佚名 / Anonymous