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第21章 不要让教训再次重复 (7)

佚名 / Anonymous

Everybody has blue days. These are miserable days when you feel lousy, grumpy, lonely and utterly exhausted. Days when you feel small and insignificant, when everything seems just out of reach. You can' t rise to the occasion. Just getting started seems impossible. On blue days you can become paranoid that everyone is out to get you. (This is not always such a bad thing.) You feel frustrated and anxious, which can induce a nail-biting frenzy that can escalate into a triple-chocolate-mud-cake-eating frenzy in a blink of an eye! On blue days you feel like you' re floating in an ocean of sadness. You' re about to burst into tears at any moment and you don' t even know why. Ultimately, you feel like you are wandering through life without purpose. You' re not sure how much longer you can hang on and you feel like shouting, "Will someone please shoot me!" It doesn' t take much to bring on a blue day. You might just wake up not feeling or looking your best, find some new wrinkles, put on a little weight, or get a huge pimple on your nose. You could forget your date' s name or have an embarrassing photograph published. You might get dumped, divorced, or fired, make fool of yourself in public, be afflicted with a demeaning nickname, or just have a plain old bad-hair day. Maybe work is a pain in the butt. You' re under major pressure to fill someone else' s shoes, your boss is picking on you, and everyone in the office is driving you crazy. You might have a splitting headache, or a slipped disk, bad breath, a toothache, chronic gas, dry lips, or an ingrown toenail. Whatever the reason, you' re convinced that someone up there doesn' t like you. Oh what to do, what to do?

Well, if you' re like most people, you' ll hide behind a flimsy belief that everything will sort itself out. Then you will spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, waiting for everything to go wrong all over again. All the while becoming crusty and cynical or a pathetic, sniveling victim. Until you get so depressed that you lie down and beg the earth to swallow you up or, even worse, become addicted to Billy Joel songs. This is crazy, because you' re only young once and you' re never old twice. Who knows what fantastic things are in store just around the corner?

After all, the world is full of amazing discoveries, things you can' t even imagine now. There are delicious, happy sniffs and scrumptious snacks to share. Hey, you might end up fabulously rich or even become a huge superstar (one day). Sounds good, doesn' t it? But wait, there' s more!There are handstands, and games to play and yoga and karaoke and wild, crazy, bohemian dancing. But best of all, there' s romance. Which means long dreamy stares, whispering sweet nothings, cuddles, smooches, more smooches and even more smooches, a frisky love bite or two, and then, well, anything goes. So how can you find that blissful "just sliding into a hot bubble bath" kind of feeling? It' s easy.

First, stop slinking away from all those nagging issues. It' s time to face the music. Now just relax. Take some deep breaths (in through the nose and out through the mouth). Try to meditate if you can. Or go for a walk to clear your head. Accept the fact that you' ll have to let go of some emotional baggage. Try seeing things from a different perspective. Maybe you' re actually the one at fault. If that' s the case, be big enough to say you' re sorry (it is never too late to do this). If someone else is doing the wrong thing, stand up and say, "That' s not right and I won' t stand for it!" It' s OK to be forceful. (It' s really okay to blow raspberries). Be proud of who you are, but don' t lose the ability to laugh at yourself. (This is a lot easier when you associate with positive people.) Live every day as gift were your last, because one day it will be. Don' t be afraid to bite off more than you can chew. Take big risks. Never hang back. Get out there and go for it. After all, isn' t that what life is all about?

I think so, too.

人人都有烦恼的日子。在这样的日子里,我们满怀怨言、脾气暴躁、寂寞难耐、精神委靡,也会自惭形秽、自怨自艾,甚至乱作一团。于是,我们很难重整旗鼓,开始新的生活。郁闷的日子里,我们可能会变得偏执,认为自己成了所有人攻击的对象(事实上,情况一般不是这样);我们会感到异常失望或万分焦虑,甚至会神经质地咬指甲,眨眼间疯狂地吞下一块三层的巧克力大蛋糕!痛苦的日子里,我们沉浸于悲伤的海洋,随时都会不知缘由地泪流满面。最终,我们会觉得活着毫无意义,不知道还能坚持多久,有时就想大吼:“来,给我一枪吧!”其实就那么一点儿小事,足足可以让我们郁闷一天。也许,我们忽略了自身的优点,倒是发现额头平添了几条皱纹,体重增加了几斤,或鼻子上多长了一些粉刺;也许,约会对象的名字也忘了,那张滑稽的照片也登出来了;也许,被人抛弃,离婚,被老板解雇,当众出丑,被难听的绰号折磨得身心憔悴,或者只是因为那天的发型有些糟糕;也许,因不堪工作之苦,成为别人的笑柄;也许,身担重任,老板却百般刁难,同事苦苦相讥;也许,我们头痛欲裂,口臭,牙疼,吹牛皮,口干舌燥,指甲长到肉里。不论什么原因,我们都认为,有人厌恶我们。哦,怎么办呢,该怎么办?

也许,像大多数人一样,我们会认为事情自有解决之道。结果呢,后半辈子我们都在回望昨日,期待着往事重演。在这个过程中,我们变得狂躁,愤世嫉俗,令人同情。直到我们深感绝望,乞求上帝收回我们的生命,或是整日沉浸在比利·乔的蓝调音乐中。这种心态岂不疯狂?要知道,年轻只有一次,年老也如此。我们会有什么奇遇,谁能预料到?

毕竟,这是个充满惊奇的世界,未来是无法预知的。这里,我们可以分享美味可口的小吃,可能会拥有难以数计的财富,甚至可能成为天王巨星。这似乎很好啊,不是吗?还有很多呢!我们还可以玩倒立,游戏,练瑜伽,唱卡拉OK,跳充满激情和野性的热舞,最好的莫过于与爱人罗曼蒂克。那意味着久久梦幻般地凝视对方,在耳边私语,拥抱,热吻。怎样才能找到那种幸福的感觉——感觉“就像滑入充满激情的泡泡浴里”?其实很简单。

首先,不要逃避那些困扰我们的问题,要敢于面对问题。放松一下,听听音乐,深呼吸。如果可能,试着沉思冥想,或者散散步,清醒一下大脑。放下情感包袱,接受既成事实。换位思考问题,或许,症结就在自身。如果真的是这样,大气地说声对不起(这样做,永远不会为时已晚);如果是别人错了,站出来,勇敢地说:“不对,我认为不是那样的!”语气硬点儿,没关系(也可以适时发出嘘声)。可以为自己骄傲,但不要忘记自嘲一下(和乐观的人交往容易得多)。过好每一天,想象生命在今天就要终结,因为这一天终将来到。对于那些力所不能及的事情,不要怯于尝试,要敢于冒风险;不要踌躇不前,走出去,大胆去做。毕竟,生命的意义不就在于此吗?

我也是这样认为的。

生活中没有人能避开烦恼,情绪就像天气一样,总是出人意料。但这并不是说,在烦恼面前,我们无能为力,事实上,只要冷静地找出烦恼的根源,并勇敢去面对,就会找到消除烦恼的捷径。

lousy ['lazi:] adj. 非常糟的;极坏的;恶劣的

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

时间也许是很好的疗伤者,却是个很差的美容师。

grumpy ['grmpi:] adj. 脾气坏的;性情暴躁的;生气的

Don't be so grumpy and pessimistic because every cloud has a

silver lining.

不要这么暴躁和悲观,事情也有好的一面。

paranoid ['p鎟,nid] n. 偏执狂;妄想症患者