书城成功励志遇见心想事成的自己
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第34章 通往成功的第一步 (6)

在你的生活中,会不断地出现相同的教训。你会有老师前来教你,直到你完全明白为止。你可能会努力避免这种情形,但终究会身陷其中。唯一能让你从这些不断重复的艰难模式和问题中解脱出来的方法是:转变你的观念,这样你就能认清这些模式,并从中汲取教训。直面这些挑战意味着你要接受一个事实:你自身的某些因素使你的生活重复出现相同类型的人或问题,尽管你可能会为这种情形或关系备感痛苦。

所以,这个挑战就是要辨明你不断重复的行为模式,并从中解脱。这是一个艰巨的任务,因为,它意味着你必须作出改变,而改变往往不容易,但停滞不前也不利于你心灵的成长,虽然它确实让你有舒适的熟悉感。

面对这个挑战,要辨明自己的行为模式,并从中解脱,那么,你必须承认,你过去曾有过某种行不通的行为方式。可喜的是,通过这种模式,你能真正学会如何去改变。为了协助你改变的进程,你能学会积极和忍耐。一旦掌握了这些,你很可能会发现,辨明这种模式并不是特别困难。

改变的真正秘诀是你愿意这样去做。如果你在挣脱困住你的模式的过程中取得了任何进展,那你首先应该辨明被困的模式,然后开始摆脱以前的习惯。如果你真正想改变,就要选择去做,并真正付诸行动。但是,如果你只是觉得自己应该改变,就要下定决心。然后,你会感受到牺牲的痛苦。跟随当今的潮流,听从朋友的建议,或迫于家人的期望,都会促使你作出决定,而你应该在心灵罗盘的指引下来选择。

所以,当你努力想改变生活时,先扪心自问:“我想作出这个改变的决心到底有多大?”如果你没有答案,那么,你很可能应该改变,但在你的内心深处并没有这种渴望。

耐心是在等待结果时显示出来的承受力。一旦你准备改变自我,就要耐心面对。你期望立刻有结果,并往往会为开始几次尝试的失败而沮丧。当人们试着减肥,却无法抗拒美食时,便会对自己不能执行新的饮食计划而备感失望,并为不能改变生活模式而自责不已。

正如你所知,改变通常很艰难。当你处于改变的过程中时,要对自己宽容,并耐心地去练习。成长是一个缓慢而艰苦的过程,耐心会让你更有毅力,帮助你去做自己想做的人。

如果你对堵车深恶痛绝,那么你应该多培养自己的耐心。另外,你可能会比那些有耐心的人更频繁地遭遇堵车——不是因为上天捉弄你,而是与那些有耐心的人比起来,你对堵车更在意。

记住,一个教训总会反复出现,直到你学会为止。它只不过更需要一点儿耐心而已。

不要只因一次失败,就放弃你原来决心想要达到的目的。

obedience [u'bi:dins] n. 顺从;服从;遵守

Obedience is the first duty of soldiers.

军人以服从命令为天职。

intimidate [in'timideit] v. 恐吓;威胁;胁迫

The gang tried to intimidate the bank manager.

那帮歹徒企图恐吓银行经理。

excavate ['eksk,veit] v. 发掘;开凿;细查

We will also excavate the folk art new product to put out constantly.

我们还会不断地开发并推出民间工艺新品。

berate [bi'reit] v. 严责;申斥

But to ban them and berate them seems doubly dippy.

但是,禁止或者严厉指责他们看起来是不理智的。

改变的真正秘诀是你愿意这样去做。

耐心是在等待结果时显示出来的承受力。

成长是一个缓慢而艰苦的过程,耐心会让你更有毅力,帮助你去做自己想做的人。

You will have an opportunity to deal with them out in the world.

deal with:涉及;处理;做生意

Staying just as you are may not help you advance spiritually.

just as:正像

成功人生离不开自信

Self-confidence

佚名 / Anonymous

Why Is Self-confidence Important

Self-confidence is arguably one of the most important things you can have. Self-confidence reflects your assessment of your own self-worth. It will play a large part in determining your happiness through life.

Sport can be both enormously effective in improving self-worth, and highly destructive in damaging it. Where sport is used creatively, with emphasis on enjoyment, effective goal setting and monitoring of achievement of goals, it can build self-confidence as targets are reached and improvement in performance is noted.

Where children are compelled to participate in a sport for which they have no aptitude, this can be immensely destructive to self-confidence as failure and lack of self-worth are consistently reinforced. Coaches should ask themselves whether they are prepared to take moral responsibility for inflicting this damage.

Self-confidence allows you to take risks, as you have enough confidence in your own abilities to be sure that if things do go wrong, you can put things right.

How Goal Setting Helps Self-confidence

Goal setting is probably the most effective way of building self-confidence. By setting measurable goals, achieving them, setting new goals, achieving them, and so on you prove your ability to yourself. You are able to prove to yourself that you are able to perform and achieve effectively. You can see and recognise and enjoy your achievement, and feel real self-worth in that achievement.

Importantly, by knowing what you are able to achieve, you are not setting yourself up for surprise failure—you almost always have a reasonably accurate assessment of what your abilities really are.

How Imagery, Positive Thinking, and Suggestion Help Self-confidence

Imagery is useful in building self-confidence, but only if properly applied.

Imagery should be used to imagine achievement of a goal that is being worked towards in order to help you to believe that that goal is attainable.

自信为什么重要

按理说,自信是我们所拥有的最重要的财富之一,它反映出你对自我价值的评定,对人生幸福起着至关重要的作用。

体育运动有助于自我价值的提高,同时也极具破坏力。说它具有创造性,是因为它强调的是运动的享受功能,有利于制订切合实际的目标,以及监控目标的完成。如果目标达到并看到了成功的迹象,自信便建立起来。

强迫孩子参加他们不擅长的运动,会严重挫伤他们的自信,因为失败和自我价值的缺失会不断地突显出来。教练们应该问自己,他是否从道义上已作好了承担责任的准备,使孩子们免受伤害。

自信允许你冒险,因为你对自己的能力有足够的信心,若果真不幸误入歧途,你也有扶正它们的能力。

如何设定目标有助于培养自信

或许设定目标是培养自信最有效的方法。确定适当的目标,努力实现它们,然后建立新的目标,再努力实现。长此以往,就向自己证明了你的能力。你可以采取行动并有效地实现目标,可以辨别并享受你的成就,这种成就可以让人感知自我的真正价值。

重要的是,由你能够达到的目标可知,你并不会有惊人的失败——对于自己的真正能力,你几乎总有合理而正确的评估。

意象、积极思考以及建议如何提升自信

合理利用意象,对自信的培养非常有用。

为了帮助你相信自己确定的目标可以实现,应该用意象的方法来想象你所设定的目标已经实现。

arguably [':jubli] adv. 可论证地;可争辩地

John sings very well though Peter is arguably the better actor.

约翰唱得很好,不过按理说彼得演得更好。

inflict [in'flikt] v. 给予(打击等);使遭受;造成

We should inflict severe chastisement on criminals.

我们应该对罪犯施加严厉的惩罚。

accurate ['鎘jurt] adj. 精确的

We need to give an accurate estimation.

我们需要事先作出准确的估计。

attainable ['teinbl] adj. 可达到的;可到达的;可得到的

These objectives are certainly attainable.

这些目标一定可以达到。

自信是我们所拥有的最重要的财富之一。

体育运动有助于自我价值的提高,同时也极具破坏力。

自信允许你冒险,因为你对自己的能力有足够的信心,若果真不幸误入歧途,你也有扶正它们的能力。

It will play a large part in determining your happiness through life.

play a part in:起作用;参与;扮演角色

Where sport is used creatively, with emphasis on enjoyment.

emphasis on:对……的强调;着重于

完美人生,智慧生活

Perfection

佚名 / Anonymous