谈到友谊,与朋友的相聚也能提升你的幸福指数。研究表明,日复一日的上下班是生活中最无趣的活动之一,照看孩子也是一项苦差,虽然我们不愿承认,而享受美味则算得上是人间一大乐事。
但所有这些如果有了朋友的陪伴,趣味性就会明显提升。与人结伴同行会让行程没那么乏味,如果和另一个大人一起去逗孩子,你会更容易发现其中的乐趣所在,而相比独自进餐,与他人共享美味也会让你更加乐在其中。
幸福感源于安全感
人到中年往往容易缺乏幸福感。这或许是因为身处不惑之年,中年人上有工作压力,下有子女等待抚养,这让他们觉得似乎无法掌控自己的生活。
相比之下,身居高位者、退休人士以及那些端着铁饭碗的人,他们大都过得十分幸福。对此有一种解释,那就是他们对自己的日常生活有着较好的掌控能力。
奥斯瓦德教授谈到,一个人幸福与否,与其是否拥有足够程度的安全感有着千丝万缕的联系。他指出,老板要比下属感觉幸福;那些成天担心失业的人,这种忧虑情绪对他们的精神健康来说是一个大大的减分,而那些不愁工作不保的人,这种积极的情绪则是一个大大的加分。
用每一次进步鼓励自己
虽有研究显示我们喜欢玩、不喜欢工作,但这并不表明工作就总是让人烦心的。如果工作驾轻就熟,而且能感到自己就是这个工作的一份子,我们还是很喜欢这种感觉的。
加利福尼亚大学圣迭戈分校的管理学教授大卫·施卡德说,工作当然也有好坏之分,如果你常常在工作中找到一种归属感,这对你来说就是一份好工作。
但施卡德教授也指出,工作的真正乐趣或许在于我们事后所体会到的成就感。“我们知道,进步会让人觉得开心,因此你所规划的人生应该能让你享受到这种进步感。”
工作还有一个好处,它能让你更加深刻地体会到闲暇时刻的甜美与惬意,施卡德补充说。这也许就是为什么位高权重者在退休之后抱着放松休闲的目的外出游玩,但每每却是乘兴而去、扫兴而归的原因吧。
放慢追求物质的脚步
在追求进步的过程中,加薪、豪华跑车和彩票中奖都是我们为之奋斗的目标。
可是,一旦得到了梦寐以求的东西,我们的不满之心很快就又会被其他的物质欲望撩拨得蠢蠢欲动,随后便开始新一轮的物质追逐。学术界对此有一个专门术语──享乐水车或是享乐适应症。
我们或许可以慢下这种不断追求物质享受的脚步。如果我们出去庆祝一下新近的晋升之喜,这种喜悦之情将持续得更加长久。如果我们去年买了新房,不妨停下来欣赏欣赏这个新家,这或许能帮你找回最初的兴奋。
我们还应该想想如何花钱才有意义。与商品相比,经历带给我们的幸福感似乎更能持久。
比如说你买了辆新车,这个曾经一度带给你骄傲和快乐的宝贝最终在你眼中会变成一堆破旧轮胎外加发出阵阵怪声的废铜烂铁。但如果我们把钱用于和朋友聚餐或是与家人度假,这些经历会成为你的美好回忆,而且随着时间流逝,这些往事会变得愈加珍贵。
适应挫折
虽然适应性在我们身处顺境时会让我们很难停下追逐物质利益的脚步,但当我们身陷逆境时,它却能成为生活的拯救者。假如好友离世,我们会觉得以后的生活不再会有笑容,此时人的适应性会帮你度过这段痛苦的岁月。
奇怪的是,如果一个人遭受了一场重大打击,而且事情已经到了无法挽回的地步,那么当事者的适应速度会更快。如果我们突然残疾,这时的适应速度可能反倒会极其惊人,但如果我们的配偶是个邋遢的人,我们也许永远不会适应。
原因之一在于,我们总觉得自己的配偶还是有机会做一个清爽利落之人的。
赠人玫瑰,手有余香
如果你愿意的话,做做好事,或是与人为善,这常常会让你无比开心。
纯粹利他主义?不,这似乎是人类的一种古老本能。《都是基因惹的祸》一书的作者之一、波士顿基金经理特里·伯恩汉姆指出,在古代社会,行善之举是会受到奖励的。
“美德已在我们心中深深扎根,因为我们知道美德是会获得回报的,”他说,“在小型社交圈中,人们都明白作一个好公民的好处,一旦践踏法律,将会受到严厉的惩罚。”
不管我们的真实动机如何,与人为善总是件好事,而且它还可以让我们觉得更加幸福。
The Clear Spring of the Soul灵魂的清泉
A prisoner picked up 1,000yuan in the course of building the road outside the prison. He handed it out without hesitation. However, someone in charge of the prison said to him in contempt, “Stop cheating! With your own money, play such a trick to bribe me; what you want to gain back is the reduced sentence; people of your sort are not honest.”
In total despair, the prisoner believed that no one in the world would trust him any more. So he escaped from prison that night.
On his way to flight, he plundered money and values without restraint. After plundering enough pelf, he took a train bound for the border. The carriages were so crowded that he had to stand close to a water closet. At this moment, a quite beautiful girl walked into the closet, and found that the latch was broken when she closed the door. She stepped out and whispered to him: “Sir, could you guard the door for me?”
In a daze for a second, he, looking into the pure eyes of the girl, nodded his head. The girl went into the closet with a blush; and he guarded the door tightly like a loyal guard.
At that very moment, he changed his mind suddenly. At the next stop he got off the train, and went to give himself up to the police at the train station.
Trust is the most precious thing in this world. It cannot be bought, or gained by lure or force. It comes deep from one’s soul, and lives in the clear spring of the soul. It can redeem the soul and make the soul and the heart full of purity and confidence.
有一个劳改犯人在外出修路的过程中,在路上捡到了1000元钱。他不假思索地把它交了上去。可是,有人却轻蔑地对他说:“你别来这一套,拿自己的钱,变着花样贿赂我,想换减刑的资本,你们这种人就是不老实。”
囚犯万念俱灰,心想,这世界上再也不会有人相信他了。晚上,他越狱了。
在亡命的途中,他大肆抢劫钱财,准备外逃。在抢得足够的钱财后,他乘上开往边境的火车。火车上很挤,他只好站在厕所旁。这时,有一位十分漂亮的姑娘走进厕所,关门时却发现门扣坏了。她走出来,轻声对他说:“先生,你能为我把门吗?”
他一愣,看着姑娘纯洁的眼神,他点点头,姑娘红着脸进了厕所。而他像个忠诚的卫士一样,严守着门。
在那一刹那,他突然改变了主意。到了下一站,他下车了,到车站派出所投案自首。
在这世界上,信任是一种弥足珍贵的东西,没有人能用金钱买得到,也没有人可用利诱和武力争取得到,它来自一个人的灵魂深处,也活在灵魂里的清泉,它可以拯救灵魂,让心灵充满纯洁和自信。
Later at Night, Do You Leave Your Cell Phone on?夜深了,你还开着手机吗
Today, my friend asked me a question. At night, do you turn off your cell phone? If you don’t, whom do you leave it on for?
I usually do not turn off my cell phone. Why? I have no idea. After reading an article, I seemed to understand a little bit: for that little bit of caring. I am now sharing this story with you.?
The girl would turn her cell phone off and put it by her photo on the desk every night before going to bed. This habit has been with her ever since she bought the phone.
The girl had a very close boyfriend. When they couldn’t meet, they would either call or send messages to each other. They both liked this type of communication.
One night, the boy really missed the girl. When he called her however, the girl’s cell phone was off because she was already asleep. The next day, the boy asked the girl to leave her cell phone on at night because when he needed to find her and could not, he would be worried.
From that day forth, the girl began a new habit. Her cell phone never shuts down at night. Because she was afraid that she might not be able to hear the phone ring in her sleep, she tried to stay very alert. As days passed, she became thinner and thinner. Slowly, a gap began to form between them.
The girl wanted to revive their relationship. On one night, she called the boy.? However what she got was a sweet female voice: “Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is power off.”
The girl knew that her love has just been turned off.
After a long time, the girl has a new love. No matter how well they got along, the girl however refused to get married. In the girl’s heart, she always remembered that boy’s words and the night when that phone was power off.
The girl still keeps the habit of leaving her cell phone on all throughout the night, but not expecting that it’ll ring.