The mosquito lay on her forehead and sucked her blood greedily. She was sleeping like a baby and feeling nothing at all. Perhaps she was dreaming of our business turning better. There came a sudden throb in my heart. I reached my hands and waved, but the mosquito cared nothing about my threat. With the intention of patting it to death, I raised my hand high, but could not bear to pat down. I was afraid of waking her up -- because she was so worn out.
Between her and me, a puny mosquito was harming her at the moment. I stood there woodenly with my hand in the air. I fell into conflict and worry. Suddenly, I began to detest myself deeply. On that summer night, I stood there with an extremely guilty feeling for her and our love. After the mosquito flew away, I forgave it, but I could not forgive myself.
When I passed by a peddler‘s stall one day, I found a pink mosquito net priced at 16 Yuan. Many things could be done with the money at that time. Then I stayed up the whole night, waving hardboard to keep mosquitoes from approaching her just like a guard. I acted as her temporary mosquito net. After a while, she woke up and gazed at me. Ten minutes later, tears flooded her face.
The next day a pink mosquito net hung in my room. We just kept silent when hanging it on our bed. I gave it to her as a gift, but I did not tell her my intention. I felt it was like a full-blown rose which could be regarded as my compensation for the love. But I thought that nothing could really make it up. That day was also her birthday.
Still later, there was a period of time, I got or we got 160,000 Yuan. We bought a lot of things, but we never bought a mosquito net. We did not need mosquito net any more, because no mosquito could fly into our well-decorated room. However, I always feel that all my money and belongings are far less valuable than the 16-yuan mosquito net to her or to our love.
That summer was gone. We could do nothing but love each other.
我知道她听施特劳斯,吃肯德基,喝巴西现磨,穿着得体的灰色套裙在写字楼里自在地忙碌。但那只是以前。后来,她与我相恋,这一切便消失了。
记得是1997年。那一年,我开始了自己所谓的事业,她跟着我,义无反顾。那个夏天来得特别早,花儿染得城市一片彤红。我们住在市郊,一个属于非法建筑的小屋,四壁透风。那是我们暂时的家。
为了省钱,每天我们步行至市区的店铺,中午买两份一块五毛钱一碗的凉皮,晚上再步行回来,累得骨头散架。好像,整整一年,都是那样熬过来的。
那是一段艰苦和心酸的日子。那时,事业是我的图腾,爱情是她的信仰。那是支撑我们没有倒下去的全部。
有一次,记得很晚了,我们步行至临时的家,她坐在床沿洗脚,我去房东那里讨开水泡面。当我提着暖水瓶返回时,我发现,她已经睡着了。她保持着一种疲劳至极的姿势,两只脚仍在脸盆里泡着,人却已斜倒在床上。她的身体压着自己的一只胳膊,于是,有了轻微的鼾声。我轻轻地走过去,想翻动一下她的身躯,让她睡得更舒服。我盯着她的脸,那是一张年轻美丽的脸,此时却写满疲惫。在这张脸上,我发现了一只蚊子。
那个夏天,城市像个巨大的蒸笼,可为了省钱,我们一天天向后推着买蚊帐的时间。我知道屋里到处都是蚊子,但我好像感觉不到。那样劳累的身体,睡下了,别说蚊子,切下一块肉,我都怀疑自己能不能醒来。
蚊子趴在她的额头,贪婪地吸食着她的血。她睡得很香,毫无察觉,也许正做着生意好转的梦。我的心猛地抽搐了一下,伸出手,挥动着,但蚊子对我的恐吓并不理睬。想用手拍死它,手扬着,却不忍拍下去。我怕惊醒了她——她已经那样地疲惫。
我与她之间,有一只弱小的蚊子,此刻正对她实施着伤害。我站在那里,就那样扬着手,愣着,矛盾着,心焦着,突然间,我对自己产生出一种深深的厌恶。在那个夏天的夜晚,我站在那里。那是一种极端亏欠的感觉,对她,对爱情。蚊子飞走了,我原谅了蚊子,却不能够原谅自己。
白天经过一个小摊,我注意到一个粉色蚊帐的标签:16元。这16元在当时,可以做许多事。那天我一夜没睡,我拿着一个硬纸板挥动着,像一名士兵,不让蚊虫靠近她的身体。我成了她临时的蚊帐。后来她醒了,醒后的她盯着我看,10分钟后,我突然发现她泪流满面。
第二天,小屋里挂上了粉色的蚊帐。挂蚊帐时,我们一直没有说话。我是把蚊帐当成礼物送给她的,但我没说。我觉得那像一朵盛开的玫瑰,就算是爱情的补偿 。但我觉得,其实什么也补偿不了。那天,也是她的生日。
再后来,有一段时间,我有了16万,或者说我们有了16万,我们买了很多东西 ,却没有再买一床蚊帐。我们已经不再需要蚊帐了,装修严密的房间,已经飞不进一只蚊虫。可是,我总觉得,这些钱,这些东西,远不如那个曾经16元钱的蚊帐,对她有价值,或者说,对我们的爱情,有价值。
那个夏天过去了,我们别无选择,只能相爱。