书城文学生命是一场旅行(上)
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第11章 生活充满选择(7)

His words struck me and reminded me that in our greatest joys and sorrows, we generally reach out for the person with whom we are closest to share the experience. And it’s this sharing that exponentially heightens the experience. When my daughter was born, as overjoyed as I felt, the experience was incomplete until I saw the joy in her father’s eyes. This past week my daughter came to visit me with some flowers. When I swooned at the beauty of the flowers and her gesture of giving them to me, her eyes lit up and a beautiful ear-to-ear smile appeared. Buying the flowers for me had elicited her joy, but seeing my happiness in receiving them had made her joy complete.

My father paused, looked toward the sky and summed it up with his words, “A sunset watched with your mother is much more beautiful than one I see without her.”

Later that day, Grady was still attending to his lover in the bumper.

When I asked my elder brother who stopped at the farm to visit me what he thought about the goose’s behavior. He said, “It’s been my experience that many species in the animal kingdom seek union and mourn its loss. In a paired union, the loss of a mate can be so great that, like people, heart-broken with grief over the partner’s death, the other partner even lose his will to live sometimes. Old Grady didn’t come to that conclusion. He set about finding his companion.”

But eventually Grady did come to that conclusion. Ten months after my visit home, my parents traded the old truck in for a car, a vehicle more conducive to spending time together taking drives in comfort.

“Dad,”I asked.“what does Grady think of the bumper on the new car”?

“Oh,”he replied sadly. “The bumper on the new car is painted fiberglass. It doesn’t shine. Without the shiny bumper, Grady lost his missus once again. He spent nearly a week looking for her all over the farm, but to no avail. He nearly drove us crazy with his honking and calling out to her. Having mourned for several days, Grady died just eight days after we traded in the truck.”

I was shocked with tears in my eyes.

The bonds of sharing—perhaps interwoven into all souls—sweeten life’s joys, ease the bitterness of its losses and color the beauty of sunsets shared.

一只灰色的非洲鹅站在我父亲的货车后面,目不转睛地凝视着车尾宽大的镀铬保险杠——它完全被它所见到的景象吸引住了。对着保险杠,灰鹅精心地整理着自己的羽毛,竖起长长的脖子扭来扭去,大声咯咯地叫着,还不时地拍拍自己的翅膀。这个场景既有趣又滑稽。

将近四个小时过后,当我见到那只鹅还站在保险杠那里的时候,我开始觉得它有些奇怪了。于是,我询问父亲是怎么回事。

“爸爸,”我说,“那只老灰鹅在你的货车后面站了一整天了。你知道是什么原因吗?”

“噢,没什么。”父亲毫不迟疑地回答道,“它叫格拉迪。一年前它的‘老伴’去世了,它觉得很孤单。当时将近有一个月,它每天都在农场周围到处寻找它的老伴,直到有一天,它经过那条闪闪发光的保险杠,从中见到了它自己的倒影。我猜,它是认为自己找到老伴了,所以每天都来陪她。”

每天早上,鹅群都会不耐烦地等在鹅棚的门口,等我父亲开门放它们出去,然后在农场四周漫步。而格拉迪每次获得自由以后,就会离开鹅群——它更愿意和它的“老伴”呆在一起。无论我父亲的货车停在哪里,它总会摇摇摆摆地冲过去,凝视着货车银光闪闪的保险杠,兴高采烈地咯咯叫着,也许它是在向它的老伴讲述它们分别之后发生的事情。

“格拉迪一整天都呆在保险杠那里,不是有点奇怪吗?”我问道。

“如果它相信它的老伴在那里,那就不足为怪了,”我父亲回答道,“它对它的老伴一往情深。”

很显然,这只鹅与它的伴侣感情深厚,它们的爱是如此强烈以至它在老伴逝世之后,还依然牢牢地记着老伴的某些样貌特征。这一切激起了我浓厚的兴趣。

“爸爸,”我怀着真诚的好奇心问道,“你为什么认为鹅的感情可以持续这么久呢?”

“这没什么好奇怪的,”父亲语气平淡地说,“大自然里每一件事物都注定了是成双成对的。渴望一个伴侣是一切有生命的事物的天性。结合、跟另一个人分享你的生活、关心自己以外的他人,正是这些赋予我们生活的意义。在追求这些的过程中,即使会经历痛苦的失落和心碎,我们绝大多数人也仍然会寻找一个伴侣。”

父亲的话触动了我,让我想起:无论是巨大的欢乐还是悲伤,我们一般都会与身边最亲近的人分享我们的经历,而这种分享又会极大地丰富我们的经历。我女儿出生的时候,我欣喜若狂,但是这种经历是不完整的,直到我在她父亲的眼里看到了同样的喜悦。上周,我女儿带了一些花来看望我。当我陶醉于鲜花的美丽和她递花给我的动作时,她的眼睛一下子就闪亮起来,脸上绽放出美丽的笑容。给我买花为她带来了欢乐,但是我收到花时的喜悦,让她的欢乐得以完满。

父亲停顿了一下,抬头看了看天,然后总结道:“和你妈妈一起看日落,会比我一个人看的时候要美丽得多。”

那天晚些的时候,格拉迪仍然站在保险杠旁陪伴着它的“老伴”。

正巧我哥哥路过农场顺便来看望我,于是我问他对这只鹅的行为有什么看法。他说:“我知道动物王国里的许多物种都会寻找伴侣,并因失去伴侣而悲伤。在一对一的结合中,失去另一半的悲伤是如此地强烈,就像人类一样,因为丧偶而悲伤心碎的那一位甚至有时会失去生存的意志。还好老格拉迪并没有走上那条路,它设法找回自己的伴侣。”

然而,格拉迪最终还是走上了那条路。在我那次探亲后又过了十个月,我父母把那辆老货车卖掉了,换了一辆更方便他们一起舒服地出行的小汽车。

“爸爸,”我问道,“格拉迪怎么看那辆新车的保险杠呢?”

“噢,”父亲难过地回答道,“新车的保险杠上涂了一层玻璃纤维,不能发光。没有了那个闪闪发光的保险杠,格拉迪又一次失去了它的‘老伴’。它花了将近一周的时间在农场里到处寻找老伴,但是找不到。它不停地高声呼唤着它的老伴,让我们听着都快疯了。它伤心了好些天,就在我们卖掉货车后的第八天,格拉迪死了。”

我当场就惊呆了,泪水模糊了我的双眼。

每个人的心里都存在着分享的情结,它让人生的快乐更甜蜜,让失意的痛苦得到安抚,让共赏的夕阳更加绚丽。