我走进全家人共住的卧室。妈妈坐在她的化妆台前，眼泪顺着面颊滑落下来。她抬起头说，“你姐姐今天上午死了。”我呆呆地站在那儿，不知该说什么好。当时的我只有10岁，“死”对我来说只是一个字，没有任何意义。
我努力想弄懂眼前的情况，就在这时我发现了姐姐伊丽莎白的书包放在卧室角落的一张小桌上。这个久经风雨的长方形棕色书包看上去好像在等它的主人来认领似的。
那天晚上，我站在阳台上，看着在我家对面停下来的每一辆公交车。
“她就要回来了吗？”我一个劲地问母亲，“她为什么不能回来？她为什么非得死？”妈妈对我无休止的询问既无法安慰，也不能给予一个有意义的答案。
那天晚上，大约九点钟，一只黑色的蝴蝶飞进厨房，在客厅里到处拍翅而飞，最后落在墙壁的高处。“别赶走它。”妈妈说。
当我上床睡觉时，蝴蝶也在同一个地方栖息。但第二天早晨它不见了，这个时候，我突然想起两天前发生的事情。
那天晚上，跟平常一样，我耐心地等待着把我姐姐从学校带回家的2路公交车。几辆车来了，又走了，始终没有她的身影。我不免担心起来。终于当街灯摇曳时，我看见她走出了汽车。
我朝门口跑去，因为姐姐回来时总会给我带一些糖果。但那天晚上没有——她心急火燎地说自己忘了完成第二天要上交的一项艺术作业。
她洗过澡、吃过饭后就在我们的圆餐桌边坐了下来。姐姐将一张长方形的画纸分成12个相等的方格，在每一个方格里，她都用黑色的粗笔勾勒出一个蝴蝶的轮廓，每只都是一模一样的。
现在，就在姐姐死后的那天，我想起了飞进我们房间的那只蝴蝶，它看上去和绘画里的一模一样。
我相信飞进我家的蝴蝶实际上是姐姐回来向我们作最后的告别，然后继续她的下一个生命。将来有一天，我也会进行这一旅行，最终我会再次见到她。
Christmas Morning
圣诞节早晨
A light drizzle was falling as my sister Jill and I ran out of the Methodist Church, eager to get home and play with the presents that Santa had left for us and our baby sister, Sharon. Across the street from the church was a Pan American gas station where the Greyhound bus stopped. It was closed for Christmas, but I noticed a family standing outside the locked door, huddled under the narrow overhang in an attempt to keep dry. I wondered briefly why they were there but then forgot about them as I raced to keep up with Jill.
Once we got home, there was barely time to enjoy our presents. We had to go off to our grandparents’house for our annual Christmas dinner. As we drove down the highway through town, I noticed that the family was still there, standing outside the closed gas station.
My father was driving very slowly down the highway. The closer we got to the turnoff for my grandparents’house, the slower the car went. Suddenly, my father U-turned in the middle of the road and said, “I can’t stand it!”
“What?” asked my mother.
“It"s those people back there at the Pan Am, standing in the rain. They"ve got children. It"s Christmas. I can’t stand it.”
When my father pulled into the service station, I saw that there were five of them: the parents and three children—two girls and a small boy.
My father rolled down his window. “Merry Christmas,” he said.
“How are you,” the man replied. He was very tall and had to stoop slightly to peer into the car.
Jill, Sharon, and I stared at the children, and they stared back at us.
“You waiting on the bus?” my father asked.
The man said that they were. They were going to Birmingham, where he had a brother and prospects of a job.
“Well, that bus isn’t going to come along for several hours, and you’re getting wet standing here. Winborn’s just a couple miles up the road. They’ve got a shed with a cover there, and some benches,” my father said. “Why don"t y’all get in the car and I’ll run you up there.”
The man thought about it for a moment, and then he beckoned to his family. They climbed into the car. They had no luggage, only the clothes they were wearing.
Once they settled in, my father looked back over his shoulder and asked the children if Santa had found them yet. Three glum faces mutely gave him his answer.
“Well, I didn’t think so,” my father said, winking at my mother, “because when I saw Santa this morning, he told me that he was having trouble finding you all, and he asked me if he could leave your toys at my house. We"ll just go to get them before I take you to the bus stop.”
All at once, the three children"s faces lit up, and they began to bounce around in the back seat, laughing and chattering.
When we got out of the car at our house, the three children ran through the front door and straight to the toys that were spread out under our Christmas tree. One of the girls spied Jill’s doll and immediately hugged it to her arms. I remember that the little boy grabbed Sharon’s ball. And the other girl picked up something of mine. All this happened a long time ago, but the memory of it remains clear. That was the Christmas when my sisters and I learned the joy of making others happy.
My mother noticed that the middle child was wearing a short-sleeved dress, so she gave the girl Jill’s only sweater to wear.
Back in the car, on the way to Winborn, my father asked the man if he had money for bus fare.
His brother had sent tickets, the man said.
My father invited them to join us at our grandparents’for Christmas dinner, but the parents refused. Even when we all tried to talk them into coming, they were firm in their decision.
My father reached into his pocket and pulled out two dollars, which was all he had left until his next payday. He pressed the money into the man’s hand. The man tried to give it back, but my father insisted. “It’ll be late when you get to Birmingham, and these children will be hungry before then. Take it. I’ve been broken before, and I know what it’s like when you can’t feed your family.”
We left them there at the bus stop in Winborn. As we drove away, I watched out the window as long as I could, looking back at the little girl hugging her new doll.
天上下着毛毛细雨，我和姐姐吉尔跑出卫理公会教堂，满心只想着快点回到家玩圣诞老人给我们和小妹妹莎伦准备的礼物玩具。教堂的对面是泛美油站，灰狗长途汽车会在那里中途停站。因为是圣诞节，那天油站没开，不过我发现在紧锁的站门外站着一家人，他们挤在狭小的檐篷下，想尽量不被雨淋湿。我闪过一个疑问，他们为什么站在那里呢？但在我赶上吉尔的时候也就把这个疑团抛诸脑后了。
回到家后，其实根本没时间让我们尽情把玩礼物，因为我们马上又得去爷爷奶奶家共进一年一度的圣诞大餐。在开车经过刚才那条高速路时，我看到那一家人仍然站在紧闭的油站门外。
在那主干道上爸爸的车开得很慢。越接近去爷爷奶奶家的分岔路口，车子就越慢。突然，爸爸在半路中来了个180度转弯，把车子原路驶回，他说：“我实在不忍心！”
“什么？”妈妈问他。
“那几个在雨中站在泛美油站外的人。他们还带着小孩呢。圣诞节当前，我真的不忍心啊。”
爸爸把车开到油站旁停下，我看见那一家总共有5个人：父母俩和三个孩子——两个女孩跟一个小男孩。
爸爸摇下车窗对他们说：“圣诞快乐！”
“你好，”那个男人回了一句。他长得很高，要稍微弯下腰来往我们车里瞧。
我和吉尔、莎伦盯着那几个小孩，他们也瞪眼看着我们。
“你们在等汽车吗？”爸爸问他们。
男人回答说是，他们准备去伯明翰，他有个哥哥在那边，而且期望能谋到一份工作。
“汽车起码要好几个小时后才到这里，站在这儿等车你们都会淋湿的。往前几英里就是温邦站，那儿有个棚屋，有地方避雨，还有些板凳。不如上车我送你们到那里吧。”
男人想了一下，然后示意他家人过来。他们钻进车里，除了身上穿着的衣服，他们没有任何行李。
等他们坐好了，爸爸转过头来问那几个孩子，圣诞老人找到他们没有。三张忧郁的脸无声地回答了他。
“我看不是吧，”爸爸边说边向妈妈眨眼暗示，“早上我碰到圣诞老人了，他说找不到你们，想把给你们的礼物暂时放到我们家里来。现在咱们就去拿礼物吧，待会儿我再送你们去车站。”
三个孩子的脸顿时阴霾尽散，还在后排座位蹦蹦跳跳，笑笑嚷嚷起来。
到了我家一下车，那三个孩子穿过大门就直奔摆在圣诞树下的礼物。其中一个小女孩发现了吉尔的洋娃娃礼物，马上把它抱入怀中。我记得那小男孩抓走了莎伦的小球，而另外一个女孩就挑走了一件我的东西。这些都是很久很久以前的事了，然而回忆起来还是那么清晰，因为在那个圣诞日我和我的姐妹领会到了让别人快乐而获得的愉悦。
妈妈看到他们家老二穿着的裙子是短袖的，便把吉尔仅有的毛衣给了她穿。
爸爸邀请他们一起去爷爷奶奶家吃圣诞大餐，但他们两夫妇拒绝了。就算怎么游说，他们还是坚拒了我们的好意。
回到车里在去温邦的路上，爸爸问那男人有没有钱买车票。
他说哥哥寄了车票来。
爸爸从口袋里掏出仅有的两美元，本来是我们要熬到下次发工资的，他却把这钱塞到了男人的手里。男人想把钱推回来，但爸爸硬要他收下。“等你们到伯明翰就已经很晚了，路上孩子们会饿的。收下吧，我以前也曾一贫如洗，让家人挨饿的滋味不好受，我知道的。”