We couldn’t have used more without hiring so many clerksand marcelled paraphernalia that the sound of the gumchewing would have disturbed the Postmaster-General.
“We placed 2，000 in a bank to Mrs. Trotter’s credit andgave her the book to show in case anybody might questionthe honesty and good faith of the agency. I knew Mrs.
Trotter was square and reliable and it was safe to leave itin her name.
“With that one ad Andy and me put in twelve hours aday answering letters.
“About one hundred a day was what came in. I neverknew there was so many large hearted but indigent men inthe country who were willing to acquire a charming widowand assume the burden of investing her money.
“Most of them admitted that they ran principally towhiskers and lost jobs and were misunderstood by theworld， but all of ’em were sure that they were so chock fullof affection and manly qualities that the widow would bemaking the bargain of her life to get ’em.
“Every applicant got a reply from Peters & Tuckerinforming him that the widow had been deeply impressedby his straightforward and interesting letter and requestingthem to write again； stating more particulars； andenclosing photograph if convenient. Peters & Tucker alsoinformed the applicant that their fee for handing overthe second letter to their fair client would be 2， enclosedtherewith.
“There you see the simple beauty of the scheme. About90 per cent. of them domestic foreign noblemen raisedthe price somehow and sent it in. That was all there was toit. Except that me and Andy complained an amount aboutbeing put to the trouble of slicing open them envelopes，and taking the money out.
“Some few clients called in person. We sent ’em to Mrs.
Trotter and she did the rest； except for three or four whocame back to strike us for carfare. After the letters beganto get in from the r.f.d. districts Andy and me were takingin about 200 a day.
“One afternoon when we were busiest and I was stuffingthe two and ones into cigar boxes and Andy was whistling‘No Wedding Bells for Her’ a small slick man drops in andruns his eye over the walls like he was on the trail of a lostGainesborough painting or two. As soon as I saw him Ifelt a glow of pride， because we were running our businesson the level.
“‘I see you have quite a large mail to-day，’ says the man.
“I reached and got my hat.
“‘Come on，’ says I. ‘We’ve been expecting you. I’ll showyou the goods. How was Teddy when you left Washington？’
“I took him down to the Riverview Hotel and had himshake hands with Mrs. Trotter. Then I showed him herbank book with the 2，000 to her credit.
“‘It seems to be all right，’ says the Secret Service.
“‘It is，’ says I. ‘And if you’re not a married man I’ll leaveyou to talk a while with the lady. We won’t mention thetwo dollars.’
“‘Thanks，’ says he. ‘If I wasn’t， I might. Good day， Mrs.
Peters.’
“Toward the end of three months we had taken insomething over 5，000， and we saw it was time to quit. Wehad a good many complaints made to us； and Mrs. Trotterseemed to be tired of the job. A good many suitors hadbeen calling to see her， and she didn’t seem to like that.
“So we decides to pull out， and I goes down to Mrs.
Trotter’s hotel to pay her last week’s salary and say farewelland get her check for the 2，000.
“When I got there I found her crying like a kid thatdon’t want to go to school.
“‘Now， now，’ says I， ‘what’s it all about？ Somebody sassedyou or you getting homesick？’
“‘No， Mr. Peters，’ says she. ‘I’ll tell you. You was always afriend of Zeke’s， and I don’t mind. Mr. Peters， I’m in love.
I just love a man so hard I can’t bear not to get him. He’sjust the ideal I’ve always had in mind.’
“‘Then take him，’ says I. ‘That is， if it’s a mutual case. Doeshe return the sentiment according to the specifications andpainfulness you have described？’
“‘He does，’ says she. ‘But he’s one of the gentlementhat’s been coming to see me about the advertisement andhe won’t marry me unless I give him the 2，000. His nameis William Wilkinson.’ And then she goes off again in theagitations and hysterics of romance.
“‘Mrs. Trotter，’ says I， ‘there’s no man more sympathizingwith a woman’s affections than I am. Besides， you wasonce the life partner of one of my best friends. If it wasleft to me I’d say take this 2，000 and the man of yourchoice and be happy.
“‘We could afford to do that， because we have cleanedup over 5，000 from these suckers that wanted to marryyou. But，’ says I， ‘Andy Tucker is to be consulted.
“‘He is a good man， but keen in business. He is my equalpartner financially. I will talk to Andy，’ says I， ‘and see whatcan be done.’
“I goes back to our hotel and lays the case before Andy.
“‘I was expecting something like this all the time，’ saysAndy. ‘You can’t trust a woman to stick by you in anyscheme that involves her emotions and preferences.’
“‘It’s a sad thing， Andy，’ says I， ‘to think that we’ve beenthe cause of the breaking of a woman’s heart.’
“‘It is，’ says Andy， ‘and I tell you what I’m willing to do，Jeff. You’ve always been a man of a soft and generous heartand disposition. Perhaps I’ve been too hard and worldlyand suspicious. For once I’ll meet you half way. Go to Mrs.
Trotter and tell her to draw the 2，000 from the bank andgive it to this man she’s infatuated with and be happy.’
“I jumps up and shakes Andy’s hand for five minutes，and then I goes back to Mrs. Trotter and tells her， and shecries as hard for joy as she did for sorrow.
“Two days afterward me and Andy packed up to go.
“‘Wouldn’t you like to go down and meet Mrs. Trotteronce before we leave？’ I asks him. ‘She’d like mightily toknow you and express her encomiums and gratitude.’
“‘Why， I guess not，’ says Andy. ‘I guess we’d better hurryand catch that train.’
“I was strapping our capital around me in a memory beltlike we always carried it， when Andy pulls a roll of large billsout of his pocket and asks me to put ’em with the rest.
“‘What’s this？’ says I.
“‘It’s Mrs. Trotter’s two thousand，’ says Andy.
“‘How do you come to have it？’ I asks.
“‘She gave it to me，’ says Andy. ‘I’ve been calling on herthree evenings a week for more than a month.’
“‘Then are you William Wilkinson？’ says I.
“‘I was，’ says Andy.”