书城成功励志沉思录(上)
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第2章 养父安东尼·皮乌斯给我的教诲(1)

16.从我的父亲那里,我看到一种温和的脾性,他对经过深思熟虑之后所做的决定抱有不可更改的决心;对于那些人们称之为功勋的东西毫无骄傲之感;热爱劳动,持之以恒;乐意倾听对公共福利提出的建议;毫不动摇地根据每个人的贡献来分配;并拥有一种从经验中获得的辨别精力充沛和软弱无力的行动的知识。我看得到他战胜了对孩子的所有激情;他把自己视为与其它任何一个公民没有差异的公民他解除了他的朋友陪他一起喝茶和出国时必须觐见他的所有义务,那些由于紧急事务无法陪伴他的人,总发现他对他们一如往常。我还看到他仔细探讨一切所需考虑的事情。他坚持不懈,从不因初次印象的满意而停止探究;他有一种保持友谊的性情,不会很快对朋友感到厌倦,也不会浪费自己的感情;对一切环境都感到满意和乐观;以一种长远的眼光预测事物,能不夸张地见微知著;他可以立即阻止一切流行的赞美和阿谀奉承;他对管理帝国所需的事务保持警惕,妥善管理支出,耐心地容忍由此带来的一切指责;他既不迷信神灵,也不以赏赐、娱乐或奉承大众而对人们献殷勤;他对一切事情都保持清醒和镇定,从未有过任何卑鄙的想法或行为,也不好新骛奇。对于幸运所赐的丰富的有益于生命的东西,他既不推辞也不炫耀,所以当得到这些东西时,他就毫不虚伪地享用,当得不到时,他也并不想得到。没有任何人说他是一个诡辩家,一个能说会道的家奴,或者卖弄学问的人;但每个人都承认他是一个成熟、完美的男人,不受奉承的影响,能够管理自己和他人的事务。除此以外,他尊敬真正的哲学家,不谴责那些自称为哲学家的人,也不轻易地被他们迷惑。他在社交方面也平易近人,使自己显得和蔼可亲而不带有任何攻击性的虚伪。他适度关注自己的身体健康,既不过分依恋生命,又不像那些对个人形象毫不在乎的人。但通过自己日常的留意,他很少需要看医生、吃药和进补。他非常乐意为那些拥有特殊才能的人开辟道路而不带丝毫嫉妒之心,比如具有雄辩口才或者拥有法律、道德等知识的人;他给予他们帮助,并根据每个人的长处使他们享有声誉;他总是愉快地根据自己国家的制度行事,而不带任何个人的感情。而且,他不喜欢改变或不稳定,而喜欢呆在同一个地方,并专注于同一件事情;他在头痛病发作过后,立即精神抖擞、精力充沛地继续他一贯的工作。他的秘密不多也不少,这些秘密都是有关公共事务的;他在公众观瞻之物和公共建筑的建设,以及对待人民的捐献等方面表现得审慎而节约,因为他关注的是是否应该这样做,而不是通过这些事情获得名声。他不在不恰当的时间洗澡;他不喜欢兴建豪宅,也不关注自己的饮食、衣物的质地和颜色,和自己仆人的美貌。他的衣物一般是从他在海滨的别墅罗内姆来的,是从拉努维阿姆来的。我们知道他是如何对待那个在塔斯丘佗请求他宽恕的收税人的,这就是他总的行为方式。在他身上没有什么是严厉的,不可饶恕的或是暴力的。他对一切事物分别进行考察,就像有用不完的时间一样,而且井井有条,毫不含糊,精力充沛,始终如一。那对苏格拉底的记录也适用于他:他既能够克制,又可以享受,而这些东西是很多人太过软弱而难以克制的,他们很容易无节制地享受。而既能够足够强健地承受,又可以保持清醒的品质,是具有一个完美而不可征服的灵魂的人的标志,正如他在马克西默斯的疾病中所表现的一样。

17.我感谢神明让我拥有好的祖辈、好的父母、好的姐妹、好的教师、好的同伴、好的亲戚和好的朋友,几乎一切都是美好的。而且,我还要感谢神明的是,我从不冒犯他们之中的任何一个,尽管我的性情是只要有机会允许就可能做这样的事情。但是,在他们的帮助下,还没有这种机缘凑巧使我经受这种考验。另外,我还要感谢神明的是,我很早就不是由祖父的妾抚养,这样我可以保留我的青春之美,直到合适的时节甚至更晚的时辰才证明我的男性精力;我隶属于一个统治者、一个父亲,他能够剔除我身上所有的骄傲,教会我这样的知识,即一个人在皇宫里生活是可以不需要卫兵、华丽服饰、火炬和塑像这类东西的;但一个人是有能力过自己喜欢的私生活的,并不因此而思想低劣、行动懈怠,因为他重视通过一种适合于统治者的方式去作为公众谋利所必须做的事情。我感谢神明给了这样一个兄弟,他能够将自己的道德品质唤醒我的警戒意识,同时用他自己的尊重和爱心来使我愉悦;感谢神明使我的孩子并不愚蠢或是有生理缺陷;感谢神明使我对华丽辞藻和诗词歌赋和别的学问并不十分精通,如果我看到我在这些方面取得进步,那我可能将沉迷于其中;感谢神明使我很迅速就能够给予那些抚育我长大的人应得的、他们愿意得到的荣誉,而不延迟他们所对我给予的以后这样做的期望,因为他们那时候还很年轻;感谢神明使我认识了阿珀洛尼厄斯、拉斯蒂克斯、马克西默斯,使我对按照自然而生活,依赖神明及他们的赏赐、帮助和启示留下了清晰而巩固的印象,没有什么能够阻止我立刻按照自然而生活,尽管还是因为自己的过错,因为我没有注意到神明的劝诫(我几乎可以说是神明的直接劝诫)而没有达到这个目标;感谢神明使我如此长久地处在这样一种生活中身体仍然保持健康;我从未达到本尼迪克特或西奥多图斯的高度,但陷入热恋之后,我还是被治愈了;虽然我常常达不到拉斯蒂克斯的那种气质,但是我从来不做能让我有机会后悔的事情;虽然我母亲的早逝是命运使然,但她在生命的最后一年中陪伴我度过;无论何时,我帮助任何需要帮助的人,或者在别的情况,我从不感到自己缺乏这样做的手段;而我自己却从来没有这样的需要,或者说从他人那里得到任何东西;感谢神明让我拥有一位这般温柔、神情和朴素的妻子;感谢神明让我有许多优秀的教师来教导我的孩子;感谢神明通过梦和其它方法,让我发现了各种治疗咳血和头晕的药方……而且,当我倾心于哲学之时,我并未落到任何一个诡辩家之手,没有浪费时间去书写历史作品,研究三段论法的解决方法,或是探究天国的表面现象;而以上这些都需要神明和命运的帮助。

写于阿奎,当时正在与夸地族人进行作战。

1.From my grandfather Verus I learned good morals and the government of my temper.

2.From the reputation and remembrance of my father, modesty and a manly character.

3.From my mother, piety and beneficence, and abstinence, not only from evil deeds, but even from evil thoughts; and further, simplicity in my way of living, far removed from the habits of the rich.

4.From my great-grandfather, not to have frequented public schools, and to have had good teachers at home, and to know that on such things a man should spend liberally.

5.From my governor, to be neither of the green nor of the blue party at the games in the Circus, nor a partizan either of the Parmularius or the Scutarius at the gladiators" fights; from him too I learned endurance of labour, and to want little, and to work with my own hands, and not to meddle with other people"s affairs, and not to be ready to listen to slander.

6.From Diognetus, not to busy myself about trifling things, and not to give credit to what was said by miracle-workers and jugglers about incantations and the driving away of daemons and such things; and not to breed quails for fighting, nor to give myself up passionately to such things; and to endure freedom of speech; and to have become intimate with philosophy; and to have been a hearer, first of Bacchius, then of Tandasis and Marcianus; and to have written dialogues in my youth; and to have desired a plank bed and skin, and whatever else of the kind belongs to the Grecian discipline.

7.From Rusticus I received the impression that my character required improvement and discipline; and from him I learned not to be led astray to sophistic emulation, nor to writing on speculative matters, nor to delivering little hortatory orations, nor to showing myself off as a man who practises much discipline, or does benevolent acts in order to make a display; and to abstain from rhetoric, and poetry, and fine writing; and not to walk about in the house in my outdoor dress, nor to do other things of the kind; and to write my letters with simplicity, like the letter which Rusticus wrote from Sinuessa to my mother; and with respect to those who have offended me by words, or done me wrong, to be easily disposed to be pacified and reconciled, as soon as they have shown a readiness to be reconciled; and to read carefully, and not to be satisfied with a superficial understanding of a book; nor hastily to give my assent to those who talk overmuch; and I am indebted to him for being acquainted with the discourses of Epictetus, which he communicated to me out of his own collection.

8.From Apollonius I learned freedom of will and undeviating steadiness of purpose; and to look to nothing else, not even for a moment, except to reason; and to be always the same, in sharp pains, on the occasion of the loss of a child, and in long illness; and to see clearly in a living example that the same man can be both most resolute and yielding, and not peevish in giving his instruction; and to have had before my eyes a man who clearly considered his experience and his skill in expounding philosophical principles as the smallest of his merits; and from him I learned how to receive from friends what are esteemed favours, without being either humbled by them or letting them pass unnoticed.